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Keeping toddlers away from newborns

(49 Posts)
Whenwillwe3meetagain Thu 06-Apr-17 21:42:59

Is this something I should consider when DC 2 comes along? DD1 is at nursery so there won't be a lot I can do about what she brings home in terms of germs.
But a friend with a new baby is keeping friends with toddlers away despite having one of her own who is at nursery. I was planning to be out and about a lot with the baby and toddler and see lots of friends in part to keep myself sane. Should I rethink the first few months?

Rainydayspending Thu 06-Apr-17 21:47:03

No. That's crazy, don't give the first a real reason to resent the second! Try to get those hands washed, but it's a challenge.
Safety wise though my eldest did manage to knock over the stand of a moses basket (ddsecond inside she was fine). I did then jam the basket between the wall and sofa. Ddfirst could easily look but couldn't tip it again!

Rainydayspending Thu 06-Apr-17 21:48:42

With baby in a pram/ car seat toddlers can nose more, a sling keeps the smaller one at more of a distance if it suits you of course.

CMamaof4 Thu 06-Apr-17 21:49:10

No, Sorry but that sounds ridiculous!
You definately don't need to rethink.

TheWhiteRoseOfYork Thu 06-Apr-17 21:52:16

Of course not, you go about your normal business as much as possible, baby fits into existing routine and if that involves lots of toddler friends then great, baby will grow up surrounded by lots of other children. As suggested, get a sling if you can and then just carry on with baby in tow.

Caterina99 Thu 06-Apr-17 21:58:23

My DS will be 2.3 when no. 2 is born. I plan to stick to his routine mostly. Thankfully he goes to nursery twice a week, but we also go to library and play groups etc, which I will do with baby in tow.

I do plan to apply some common sense and not attend if there are health concerns (child with chicken pox, family member with flu etc) but no I will not be staying at home every day.

Ameliablue Thu 06-Apr-17 22:00:05

Not if you want to keep your sanity.

Ecureuil Thu 06-Apr-17 22:00:31

DD1 was 20 months when DD2 was born. We carried on as normal! In fact I always say that DD1 had all the lovely baby massage/yoga/swimming type things and poor DD2 just got dragged along to toddler groups from day 1.

Wolfiefan Thu 06-Apr-17 22:00:33

If I wasn't out and about with a baby and a toddler I would go slowly nuts. (I say that as someone prone to depression.)
I would avoid anyone with a sick child or a known contagious disease (no chicken pox parties) but anything else would be fine.

Ecureuil Thu 06-Apr-17 22:01:14

I had no childcare for DD1 when DD2 came along so I couldn't possibly have stayed at home with them both all day every day.

Ameliablue Thu 06-Apr-17 22:01:58

The best bit of having a toddler and being on mat leave with a baby is being able to go to toddler groups. Keeps toddler occupied and there are always people willing to help with baby.

Lelly78 Thu 06-Apr-17 22:10:04

Plus we found as soon as the baby started nursery she brought home plenty of new germs to share with all the family...

Whenwillwe3meetagain Thu 06-Apr-17 22:25:37

Ok glad it's not me then. Feeling a bit miffed to still have not met the new arrival due to having DD in tow. Apparently will be possible after injections...

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness Thu 06-Apr-17 22:34:41

She's got a toddler of her own, i.e. Another mini germ carrier. That makes her resistance to other germ carriers pointless. Does she spray the toto down and screen them Ebola stylee every time they venture forth? Hmm.......

One toddler at nursery is pretty much the same as another , lovely little Petrie dishes that they are.

I've got a three year old and an almost fourteen month old. Expecting number three. I can't rehouse my eldest two when he or she arrives and I can't ban their friends or what they bring in with them.

Like others have said, common sense and diligence re chickenpox, viruses , bugs etc but hand washing and good general hygiene is the best you can do.

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness Thu 06-Apr-17 22:35:24

Tot not toto.
Eye roll

BackforGood Thu 06-Apr-17 22:37:06

Your friend IBU, and completely bonkers.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic Thu 06-Apr-17 22:48:19

DS1 kindly got chicken pox when DS2 was 7 weeks old. I was most miffed because I was just beginning to feel vaguely human again after months, and then had to spend another two weeks stuck around the house... which became 4 when DS2 broke out with it at 9 weeks. But at least he was old enough for calpol by then.

No other measures were brought in to protect them from illness, and they've been pretty hardy since then. I don't think DS2 has had anything more than usual colds, one round of bronchiolitis and a couple of water infections (now age 4) It's important to let the immune system develop immunity from exposure to the world.

NotCitrus Thu 06-Apr-17 23:03:09

Best tip I had was to tell ds and any other toddlers that tiny babies love having their feet tickled.

Actually the baby probably doesn't give a toss but it's a nice way for the toddlers to play with the baby that is unlikely to damage the baby! And probably helps keep the germs away from the baby's head a bit.

I spent most of my second mat leave in children's centres and small soft plays trying to snooze. Those baby areas are very comfy...

NataliaOsipova Fri 07-Apr-17 11:35:08

I'd say no, no, no! Best thing I ever did was to make my toddler feel like the new baby was all about her and that she was her little sister to show off/introduce. 6 years later, she's still a little bit like this and they are the best of pals. (Most of the time!)

Fitzsimmons Fri 07-Apr-17 11:39:52

When DD was 4 weeks old I took her and DS to a toddler group and another child shoved his chocolate and dribble coated fingers in her mouth as she sat in the car seat whilst I was distracted by DS. She's still here one year later grin

Soubriquet Fri 07-Apr-17 11:41:37

No way would I keep mine apart, they are family

The only time I had to stop my oldest with the newborn, was when she realised if she poked him, he cried. She found that very entertaining. After that she was pretty bored by him until he started to move around.

They get on fairly well now (2 and 4) although they scrap over toys sometimes

Mrscog Fri 07-Apr-17 13:04:31

I had a 3 year gap and I didn't actively keep them apart when healthy but when DS1 had illnesses in the first 6 months of DS2s life I did try and keep DS2 away from DS1. It probably helped that DS1 was more preschooler than toddler and understood 'don't sneeze or cough near DS2' and was more compliant with handwashing etc. by then.

Yura Fri 07-Apr-17 14:58:52

I have a 4 year old and an 8 week old. We just continued as usual, baby is in a sling a lot smile

2dogsonthesofa Fri 07-Apr-17 15:46:53

My dh still remembers not being allowed to go near his baby sister because he was a boy and might hurt her. Their relationship growing up was not brilliant.

PinkHeart59156816 Fri 07-Apr-17 15:53:58

No they are siblings and need to learn to be together. Having another baby is a big thing for the child you already have so I think to keep them apart will just cause problems anyway.

My 2 dc are just 11 months apart and they have never been kept apart, we explained to ds that dd is small so he has to be gentle with her ok he was probably too small to understand that but his never caused dd any harm worst his done was tried giving her his water bottle when she was a few days old.
We let ds "help" feed dd, once I expressed milk he touched the bottle near the end of feed.
He was encouraged to sit on dd playmat with her and could stroke her tummy, they are 19 months and 8 months now and he still sits stroking dd tummy.

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