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To say no to social media until secondary school?

(140 Posts)
Dancergirl Thu 06-Apr-17 20:20:38

Dd is 10, Year 5. Some of her friends are now using social media such as musical.ly, Instagram and Snapchat. Dd is asking me if she can too but I feel uncomfortable about it as I think it's too young. I don't see the rush to start.

I've said no to any social media until secondary school. AIBU?

Toobloodytired Thu 06-Apr-17 20:25:08

My brother is 11 (12 in a couple of months, finishing year 7), he still isn't allowed on social media.

cheminotte Thu 06-Apr-17 20:26:47

I totally agree with you. My ds is in year 5 too and hasn't asked, but the answer would be no. There's a reason why the minimum age for Facebook is 13.

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours Thu 06-Apr-17 20:27:02

That's what I'm doing. Much to DD's annoyance. I've told her I don't care what her friends do and on this I am immovable.

YANBU

exLtEveDallas Thu 06-Apr-17 20:30:42

DD wanted SM in year 5. I held out. Then relented in Year 6 (with strict control) and discovered that she was one of only 3 children in her class who hadn't been online. She had Instagram first, then Musical.ly and she got Snapchat (that she hardly uses) in Year 7.

It's absolutely fine. She's had no major problems and it's actually helped in a lot of ways. It widened her social circle, and it has been helpful with projects, friendships, homework and plans.

LornaD40 Thu 06-Apr-17 20:32:10

I wish our secondary children didn't have it! Loads of our y7s don't - I would avoid for as long as possible!

AlexanderHamilton Thu 06-Apr-17 20:32:10

Neither of mine were allowed Instagram until Year 7, Facebook in Year 8. Dd is now Year 10 & still not allowed Snapchat.

AlexanderHamilton Thu 06-Apr-17 20:33:10

Neither of mine were allowed Instagram until Year 7, Facebook in Year 8. Dd is now Year 10 & still not allowed Snapchat.

frogsgoladidahdidah Thu 06-Apr-17 20:33:23

My dad is a policeman. He never talks about his work, but he made me promise last month not to let the kids on social media until they are 18.

exLtEveDallas Thu 06-Apr-17 20:34:50

I have chosen to educate my child about the internet and social media use rather than ban it outright. I think that is more sensible. But each to their own.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Thu 06-Apr-17 20:34:57

Dd has instagram - not fb or snapchat. No mobile til she is 12 and at secondary (Sept - gulp)

RicottaPancakes Thu 06-Apr-17 20:38:09

Well, you're not allowed on FB until you're 1r, not sure about the other ones. So if you let you child on there before then you are knowlingly letting them get access to something they shouldn't. That's not teaching them the rules of society. You' d probably be upset if a pub served them alcohol at 14, or the cinema let ghem in to watch an 18 when they're not 18. You are not being unreasonable at all.

BroomstickOfLove Thu 06-Apr-17 20:38:21

I installed musical.ly on my phone and let DD use it under my supervision once all her homework is done. She knows that it's not private and that I can see everything that is posted there, and I can uninstall it or not let her use it at any time.

RicottaPancakes Thu 06-Apr-17 20:38:47

13, not1r!

Toobloodytired Thu 06-Apr-17 20:39:31

I have chosen to educate my child about the internet and social media use rather than ban it outright. I think that is more sensible. But each to their own.

These are the same kids who now think they have a degree in staying safe online whilst talking to their 45yr old boyfriend! hmm

exLtEveDallas Thu 06-Apr-17 20:39:39

And the minimum age limits on SM are all about holding data on kids, The reason that most social media platforms have set 13 years as their cut-off point is a US law called Coppa (Children's Online Privacy Protection Act) from 1998. Nothing else.

MuddlingMackem Thu 06-Apr-17 20:41:56

YANBU.

We've been very strict on no FB until 13yrs old so only DC1 has that, but we've said no to any of the others, even at 13.

DC2 is 10 and has been asking for Whatsapp as she wants to be able to message her friends using wi-fi rather than using up her credit to text them. That one seems fairly easy to restrict so I think we may well allow that one soon for her.

AuntieStella Thu 06-Apr-17 20:41:56

Hold out if you can.

With the exception of musically (which went round her school when she was in yr7) I managed to keep DD off social media until year 8 (ie 12-13 yos) and I do think it was worth it. She's learned a bit more about cyber security, and friendship groups were established in RL before they all migrated to phones

exLtEveDallas Thu 06-Apr-17 20:42:09

These are the same kids who now think they have a degree in staying safe online whilst talking to their 45yr old boyfriend! hmm

Unless the 45 year old boyfriend is also in the same year at school, or same sports team, then hardly hmm. First rule of safe SM use? Don't add people you don't know.

SafeToCross Thu 06-Apr-17 20:45:08

I am holding out to 13, and every parent of older children I have talked to irl has supported this. And I have work related reasons like pp's Dad.

HatHen Thu 06-Apr-17 20:45:10

I agree with you. YADNBU.

Yika Thu 06-Apr-17 20:49:18

I live in Belgium. There's a '3-6-9-12' campaign going on here which recommends

- no TV before 3
- no games console before 6
- no internet without supervision before 9
- no social media before 12

I find it quite sensible.

Dancergirl Thu 06-Apr-17 21:07:08

Thanks. Dd is trying to persuade me by saying her friends only follow people they know and she would do the same. But my instincts say no, it's just too young.

I have two older teen dds who do use social media sensibly (Snapchat and Instagram mainly), although I didn't allow Snapchat till around Year 8. Little dd can obviously see the attraction but I work hard at keeping her as a 10 year old and not a mini teen! All in good time I say.

Dancergirl Thu 06-Apr-17 21:07:44

I like that idea yika do you find parents generally follow the guidelines?

ShelaghTurner Thu 06-Apr-17 21:12:50

My 9yo has just got something called Funimate where they make stupid videos and share with their friends. She has one friend who is her cousin, and they mostly use it for messaging. I also have the app and the account she uses is mine so I can see exactly what she's doing. That's the nearest she's getting to social media till her teenage years. I use it a lot and know all the tricks which is why she isn't getting it!

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