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AIBU?

about anonymous malicious social service reports?

30 replies

BCGRMDP · 06/04/2017 18:15

i have had 6 vindictive malicious reports made about me via the nspcc website to the point i had police banging at my door accusing me of child abuse.

they have all been made completely anonymously and the maker has not even put their details on the form. i also happen to have an ex with a conviction for dv against me last month and the mess that comes from that situation when theres two kids involved.

aibu to think these "anonymous" calls can be traced or is there literally no way?

OP posts:

Report

Sample1936 · 06/04/2017 18:40

Are YOU wanting to report without being traced?
I think if it gets bad enough it could be traced.

WickedLazy · 06/04/2017 18:42

Were the reports in relation to DV incidents with your ex?

WickedLazy · 06/04/2017 18:44

You say the reports were vindictive and malicious, but not that they were false/lies?

QuiteLikely5 · 06/04/2017 18:59

If the police cane it's likely there was very serious allegations made

What are the allegations about op?

Unfortunately there is a duty to investigate every report so every single one of them get followed up

BCGRMDP · 06/04/2017 19:13

sorry i meant that my ex was convicted in feb of a serious assault on me. since then there have been 6 malicious and false reports made including me supposedly shaking my baby and hitting my toddler and being a drunk. there is a restraining order in place so i feel this is just another cruel way he is getting at me but all the reports have been through the nspcc website without any details left.

its just harassment :(

OP posts:

Littlefrogletx · 06/04/2017 19:20

My abusive ex did this also to me.
He did leave his name though.
It's awful isn't it.
Eventually social services told him to pack it in I think

BCGRMDP · 06/04/2017 19:29

im so heartbroken hes doing it, having the police banging on my door was humiloating. especially after the abuse of the past few years.

i may not live with him or have contact but he still controls me :(

OP posts:

UnbornMortificado · 06/04/2017 19:35

My youngest daughters dad did this constantly. All bollocks as backed up by the nursery and school but incredibly stressful at the time.

I stopped contact as it was affecting both my DD's and we've had no (or not been informed) of any reports since.

Littlefrogletx · 06/04/2017 19:35

It hurt me too.
All the things he did or said to me this was by far the most hurtful.
One report he made he said I was blind drunk and I couldnt be woken when he dropped kids off.
Yes I'd fallen asleep on sofa but my dad had dropped me off half an hour before so I had proof.
He told ss I was a prostitute and all sorts of crap including I Said no to my ds making an Xbox purchase online.
Apparently this was neglect.
I would suspect he will get bored eventually.

TheRealPooTroll · 06/04/2017 19:36

A friend of mine has been through this. SS are wise enough to see through malicious reports from an abusive ex and legitimate reports. It is very common for abusive partners to continue to try and exert control in this way. If there were reports from the school, doctors etc these would be taken seriously and the professionals would likely put their name to them. But constant anonymous reports, while they probably still need to be looked at, ss are well aware of the malicious nature of a lot of them. No idea if they can be traced though.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 06/04/2017 19:42

This happens a lot.
I'm not sure on the stats now but a few years back huge volumes of anon reports turned out to be malicious and usually made by someone well known to the parent/s

Tinseleverywhere · 06/04/2017 19:52

I think in this case it might be worth contacting the police with your suspicions. After all someone is wasting police time with this so that is an offence to start with.

Littlefrogletx · 06/04/2017 20:10

I have to say SS were very good at seeing through it.
My ex used to goad me and tell me that SS were going to do a surprise visit even though I was verbally told and had letters to say each case was closed down.
I dread to think how much of this shit SS have to deal with rather than real issues.

UnbornMortificado · 06/04/2017 20:29

We had to have a meeting when he made accusations about physical abuse. The SW even said what a waste of resources it was.

It's sad to think what could be getting missed while children's services are busy dealing with fake accusations.

BCGRMDP · 07/04/2017 08:17

i definitely agree about this being the most hurtful.

when police turned up after making sure the kids are happy, healthy and safe even they commented on how all these reports suddenly started after my ex got his suspended sentence and restraining order. think they knew before even arriving it was going to be malicious, just so humiliating they even had to ask..

OP posts:

newdaylight · 07/04/2017 08:27

I'm a social worker. Unfortunately I've not found it that uncommon to get anonymous false allegations made which turn out to likely be from controlling and abusive ex partners or their families.

I'm sure you understand that at the point of receiving the information from nspcc police or social services don't know if it's true or not and it would be a failure of duty to not follow it up.

My above to you is stay strong, know you've done the right thing by reporting your ex and sticking with it do he got a conviction, and you've protected your child by doing this.

Do not engage in tit for tat with him or his family, but when social services come round show then how you're really doing, if all is well they will disappear.

In mean time keep a log of number of referrals that lead to police or social services coming round and if they keep coming just politely raise the pattern and see whether there's anything they can do about it to reduce disruption to you.

UnbornMortificado · 07/04/2017 08:32

The thing is BCG the police/children's services can't know which ones are false.

It's a massive pain in the arse and stressful but there would be hell on if they ignored something and it turned out to be true.

Does it piss you off newday? I work with adult services not children but I know they get annoyed with similar.

BCGRMDP · 07/04/2017 16:43

oh i fully 100% understand why they have to take the actions they do. what i dont get is why they say they cant trace it and because the forms ahve been done completely anonymously there is nothing i can do about it

OP posts:

FernCurl · 07/04/2017 16:52

I guess they need to protect the identity of people who use the form to make genuine reports of abuse.

Rainydayspending · 07/04/2017 16:55

My abusive ex has made false reports to SS and NSPCC. Even though they were found to be a waste of time nothing was ever done. I am angry there's no come back, but then I'd rather the (few) resources went into checking welfare rather than demonstrating evidence of false reporting.
My Solicitor mentioned that he saw it lots and most of the time in cases of DV, anout half of the time when the woman filed for divorce. But he did say that some women also make false reports.
It's sad and pathetic that some people use their children in this way.

newdaylight · 07/04/2017 16:56

It does piss me off yes, especially for way it puts people like BCGRMDP through mill when they've already had a tough time.

BigGrannyPants · 07/04/2017 17:35

Can you not report this as harassment since all the visits from police and social workers have been fruitless? If you report it to the police surely they have a duty to investigate where the reports are coming from? IP addresses can be traced from online forms in quite sure

Maryhadalittlelambstew · 07/04/2017 17:50

Its horrible and you shouldn't have to be going through this but try to cooperate with SS, the more you work with them and let them into your home to show you have nothing to hide the sooner they will come to the conclusion that they're malicious allegations and close your case.

Sorry you're going through such a difficult thing, hope it all works out

BCGRMDP · 07/04/2017 18:40

i should probably add that i already have various support workers and close contact with the HV as the relationship was that violent and horrendous i have been given a lot of support. we see professionals nearly every single working day which is going massively in my favour. i might look into pursuing it with the police

just so hard to pick myself uo and carry on when the bastard wont leave me alone!

OP posts:

BCGRMDP · 07/04/2017 18:43

hes also pursuing contact with the kids which is going to be a brilliant court battle.

whats the betting hes going to Hve major concerns about my parenting when we go to court?

OP posts:

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