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AIBU to do this for ds3?

(20 Posts)
Tisnotenough Thu 06-Apr-17 16:56:25

I'm in possession of a gorgeous, squidgy 9 day old baby. His sister is 1 year and 3 months older and his brother is 2 years and 2 months older. Small gaps, as you can see.

When ds1 was born we got a lot of cards and gifts (I obviously kept the cards). When dd was born she got lots, but definitely a few less. Ds2 has had a handful, like 7 or 8. I feel really bad for him sad

AIBU to buy some cards and write in them, so in a few years he can look back and not feel left out from the others and overlooked?

orzal Thu 06-Apr-17 17:01:23

I've always thought that the cards are for the parents. I haven't shown my children the cards and letters we had when they were born.

orzal Thu 06-Apr-17 17:02:07

oops forgot to say congratulations.!

maisyanddaisy Thu 06-Apr-17 17:04:33

Congratulations on your lovely squidgy bundle! Definitely don't bother, cards are for the parents and will mean nothing to the kids. I've recycled all but a couple of the ones I got for my kids.

Birdsgottaf1y Thu 06-Apr-17 17:07:47

I've now cleared out my GPs/Mums house and helped others to do their relatives houses after death. Very few of us wanted the stuff that they'd accumulated and/or kept.

So I'd say No.

Although my DD has opted to not get a 4D scan this time and she's being told how awful she is.

WorraLiberty Thu 06-Apr-17 17:08:59

I too thought the cards were for the parents?

CaoNiMartacus Thu 06-Apr-17 17:09:15

He sounds lovely!

However, would he really mind so much, in years to come, about the lack of cards compared to his siblings?

And if you do it, would you sign from fake names? You could send him a "Janet & Roy"!!

Tisnotenough Thu 06-Apr-17 17:09:32

So really people are doing us a favour?! Right-oh, I'll put the thought out of my head! Thanks for putting it in perspective for me.

Sweets101 Thu 06-Apr-17 17:09:54

No that would be a very odd thing to do, i sincerely doubt he's going to care anyway.
I'm a 4th. I didn't get a baby book etc. It has had no impact whatsoever on my life.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies Thu 06-Apr-17 17:11:03

Like you, I had three babies in less than 3 years. And like you cards and presents trailed off rather noticeably for dc3.

If it's any consolation I had a fourth baby nearly four year after the third. Loads of presents and cards grin.

I just tell dc3 (now 13) that nobody was interested in her. She tells me her psyche has been irredeemably damaged.

And congratulations on your baby. Take this as a virtual card and flowers flowers

PotteringAlong Thu 06-Apr-17 17:13:14

I think he might notice they're all in your handwriting...grin

flowers congratulations

foundaspottysock Thu 06-Apr-17 17:14:17

Pm me your address and I'll send you a card! I understand how you feel, dc2 definately got half the amount of cards dc1 did. I have also kept them all. PS Congratulations! flowers

JaxingJump Thu 06-Apr-17 17:14:51

Don't do it!!! There are advantages and disadvantages to being oldest/youngest.....everything in life. Kids don't have to have the exact same as each other they just need to be treated fairly and with equal love. DC3 will be smart enough to understand that people get lazy when kids come flying out as quickly as yours did and the cards quantity is no reflection on him, it a reflection on the hassle of sending a card 3 time in 3 years. There will be things he gets that your eldest won't! Don't spend your life trying to give them the exact same things. Just make sure their treatment is far and love is equal.

(I've 3 with pretty much same gaps, eldest is 4. External people are totally uninterested in the third but she is the sunshine in our home and if anything I worry about her being doted on more for being little. Win some, lose some. A lesson best taught early).

JigglyTuff Thu 06-Apr-17 17:21:58

Why would your children be interested in cards from people they don't know congratulating you on the birth of your baby? How will your children even know which card pertains to which child?


dnamummy Thu 06-Apr-17 17:40:00

If it bothers you why not just keep 7 or 8 from elder babies - then all equal when kids check in a few years time💌💌💌

BeaderBird Thu 06-Apr-17 17:59:57

No, you would be encouraging him to care about things that don't matter. Weird idea.

Congratulations! flowers

Maryhadalittlelambstew Thu 06-Apr-17 19:30:48

I also had three babies in three years, although the gap between 2 and 3 was 10 months! And yes the cards and presents were less each time but to be honest I was so happy anyway I didn't really care and I actually think the effort of buying a selection of cards, writing in different ink/handwriting is a silly amount of effort to spend when you have 3 small children to look after. I honestly don't think he'll care when he's old enough to understand the concept of a new baby card. My mum and dad kept loads of my older sisters, a few of mine and less of my two younger brothers but none of us have been emotionally scared and set fire to buildings in revenge...yet anyway.

Congratulations on your lovely bundle and don't sweat the small stuff flowers

Maryhadalittlelambstew Thu 06-Apr-17 19:32:03

scarred, not scared! Although we weren't emotionally scared either.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 06-Apr-17 19:35:15

No don't do it. Weird idea. A secret you'll have to keep from him, which he won't give a toss about anyway.


SleepFreeZone Thu 06-Apr-17 19:44:42

Just cherry pick the most lovely for each child, say 4 or 5 each, in year book, job done.

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