Family meal issue

[theluckiest]

We have extended family coming over from overseas next week (who we see rarely). Exciting.

A large family 'do has been arranged for the Sunday when they've arrived at another family member's house. So far, so good. BBQ, bring food...lovely.

EXt family aren't staying long - going again Wed am. My dad has decided that we are all (inc my young DSs) going to a local pub for dinner on Tues night for a farewell meal. He reckons it's cheap, convenient and just the job. I am not really happy about this for a few reasons:

1. It's a shithole. Genuinely.
2. It's def more of a 'boozer' than a family pub.
3. It's Dad's local - so he thinks it's fine. It is...if you want to get pissed on cheap booze.
4. Food is shit.
5. There are at least 5 other, family-friendly, genuinely lovely and reasonable options in the area, convenient for us all.
6. It's a Wetherspoons. Completely fine if you're away from home, want a cheap n cheerful thing. Maybe not great to take your long-lost relatives for a special meal?!

So I've tried to mention other options which have all fallen on deaf ears. So what can I say now? I'm really not happy about taking kids in when it will be full of pissed-up gobshites having a happy hour...

And I know I sound like a terrible snob I actually don't mind TB (Terrible Boozer) for a few drinks. But it really is well dodgy...we may as well take the kids for cocktail hour and introduce them to the words 'brawl' and 'skunk'

How do I suggest somewhere a bit more appropriate without my Dad getting the hump (which in turn will make him dig his heels in)?

Or do we just suck it up?

[TheSpottedZebra]

Who is paying?

Is he paying, or planning to?

[StealthPolarBear]

As a one off I'd just put up with it tbh

[theluckiest]

Nope. We'll all pay for our own...

It's not even a money thing. We are by far the most financially challenged of my family!!

[Astro55]

Get local menus - compare prices

Accidentally book the wrong venue?

(Should be OK in a Tuesday?)

[Sirzy]

How late are you going!? Most weatherspoons are pretty family friendly unless it gets late into the night.

I would just go. It's a one off.

[AtleastitsnotMonday]

Could you find some special offer at one of the others that may tempt him away?

[theluckiest]

Special offer is a good plan!!

Meh, maybe we're being precious.

Think it's just a bit shit - there is a plethora of lovely eateries around us and we're going to the sodding local drinking den. TBH that's prob why Dad has chosen it (he likes a real ale or three...preferably a cheap one, the tight sod)

[TheSpottedZebra]

Is there any chance that he's planning on treating everyone, and this is him budgeting?

[HeddaGarbled]

If it's genuinely not suitable for the children, I would say you're not going because .......it's not suitable for the children. From the sounds of him, he'll probably give you some grief about it but dig your heels in. You'll see your relatives at the barbecue. It doesn't matter if you miss the "farewell meal". Once the poor people have been exposed to the experience, they'll understand why you gave it a miss.

[willstarttomorrow]

Our family is a bit like yours and honestly when we all get together (mainly funerals these days) the venue does not matter. You will take over a corner, all the wee cousins will love being together and no one really cares about the food. It will be fine.

[Cherrysoup]

I feel your pain. My parents insisted on going to the local shithole pub last time they were down, because it's cheap. And full of pissed up rough as fuck people, turns out. My dh was horrified. We rarely go out, so would have loved a decent boozer, of which there were plenty on the same high street.

Woman up and tell him it's not family friendly!

[Bingowingslikeashieldofsteel]

Tuesday is steak night at Spoons - it gets busy but I can honestly say I've paid an awful lot more for much crapper steaks and service in my time!

It depends if that one is awful but round here they all seem to be pretty standardly ok - the only issue you may have is drinking with the kids if you want an extended evening? I'm pretty sure there's some time limit on having kids in there with adults drinking alcohol.

[Wikky]

The overseas visitors might like it in a 'typical dive of a British pub' sort of way.

I think it would be ok just for a once off meal.

[MusicToMyEars800]

we have loads of wetherspoons pubs near us and I can't complain about them tbh, food has never disappointed and prices are reasonable also they are very family friendly, we've never been there in the evening for food though only in the afternoon. but then again the one your DF wants to go to may well be a shithole, if so just find a reasonably priced restaurant to go to, I would.

[theluckiest]

Thanks all!! Cherry, that is what I'm afraid of!!

I'll speak to Dad this week - will mention concerns and go for the usual tactic of subtly suggesting somewhere else which hopefully he will then tout to rest of the family as if it was his idea in the first place

[Huldra]

If it's his local does he want to show off his extended family?

[TinfoilHattie]

Are we related? My inlaws rave about their local pub for eating out, it's a "Fayre and Square" and it's bloody awful. Shite food, shite interior, shite clientele. Inlaws have no clue about food or cooking though and loudly proclaim that everything served is "beautiful". It's really not.

[AlternativeTentacle]

Find out what time they allow kids in til. I think they don't allow them after 8.

[Oldieandgoldie]

A lot of Wetherspoons have a 'private' room that you can hire for free.

[TheRealPooTroll]

He probably wants to take the extended family to his local, introduce them to his pals and enjoy a few drinks after you've taken the children home. I don't see why it would be unsuitable for kids at dinner time on a Tuesday???

[JaneEyre70]

Book somewhere - you have to realistically with a big group - and tell him that the 'Spoons couldn't cater for that size of group all in one go - they don't have enough microwaves . I went into one once, it was a horrifying experience that I have no urge to repeat.

[theluckiest]

Just to clarify -

He normally goes drinking with a few pals but mainly other family members (who will be going). They're not that fussed, it's just my Dad who has his heart set on Pub O'Shite.

It's a Spoons that has seen better days. Hasn't been done up for a long time. No function room. Frankly, it's a mystery why he thought this would be the place.

There's a really lovely pub 10 mins drive down the road which is v family friendly and far nicer. Think my Dad likes the fact that he can walk (stagger) home in 5 mins from Shite Pub.

Ah well. Will keep you posted about Pub Gate. You're right, it's not really a big deal. More of a wasted opportunity. And we're seeing them Sun anyway.

Mind you, DH is going to ring pub about kids after 8. That might be the get-out clause

[Funnyfarmer]

Could you get yourself barred from the weathers? Say there's someone who drinks in there you would rather not see.