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To stay for the children

(6 Posts)
Esmereldafish Tue 04-Apr-17 20:51:44

So I'm sure this has been done to death and this is long but I'm new here so...

I have been with my OH for over 10 years. We have 2 young DC under 4. He rarely comes out with us, seems to have some social issues with being seen in local areas. He has never taken either child out alone apart from to a family members house for a couple hours. I take them out every day alone, or with my parents. We never speak to each other and he never tells me anything that's going on at work or with his family etc. Recently my eldest drew a picture of him whilst he was out and painstakingly wrote his name underneath. She gave it to him excitedly and he acted as though it were nothing. I am desperately unhappy and feel as though I am bringing the children up on my own. They of course ADORE their father. I don't think I could leave him because neither of us can afford to set up on our own. Is it unreasonable to suggest living together as friends rather than partners whilst the children are young? Has anyone tried this and it worked out? We don't argue as such, and act happy in front of the kids.

bigchris Tue 04-Apr-17 20:53:21

I don't think it sounds healthy for the kids to stay together in that environment unfortunately
Finances will work themselves out

bigchris Tue 04-Apr-17 20:54:59

I mean you contradict yourself really , how can you act happy in front of the kids when you don't talk to each other and he doesn't interact with his own kids? As they get older the more they'll notice and the sadder they and you will get

Plus don't you owe it to yourself to be free for meeting someone else and being happy if you want to one day?

Unpropergrammer Tue 04-Apr-17 20:56:29

My parents stayed together for the kids. It messed me and my brother up.

Best thing you can do is split but keep it amicable and respectful. Make sure your kids know that they are loved no matter what and that the split is no inclination of how you feel about them.

Wando1986 Tue 04-Apr-17 21:00:25

Are you possibly his 2nd family and you don't know? hmm

WillWorkForShoes Tue 04-Apr-17 21:15:30

My husband's (45) -parents tried living together as friends. Started when he was 11. Ended when he was 18. He still talks about how damaging it was and how it skewed his idea of relationships.

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