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DD & Barbie shoes - more WWYD

(16 Posts)
Nquartz Tue 04-Apr-17 16:41:35

DD has a friend round to play, both reception so age 4/5. Friend wanted to take the shoes off DD's Barbies and swap them around. Cue DD running off crying because she didn't want the "wrong" shoes on her Barbies.
The only way to calm her down was to put them back the "right" way. Then I felt bad for the friend because DD had put the kibosh on her fun. DD hasn't reacted like that before to something being "wrong" so wasn't sure how to handle it. Should I have let the friend carry on & left DD upset?

Haudyerwheesht Tue 04-Apr-17 16:42:39

I would've yes

ThePiglet59 Tue 04-Apr-17 16:44:59

This is awful!
Your poor daughter.
Have you arranged counselling?

sonjadog Tue 04-Apr-17 16:46:56

Yep

JennyOnAPlate Tue 04-Apr-17 16:58:37

I would have let the friend carry on yes. I would have told dd she can put them back once her friend has gone home.

sooperdooper Tue 04-Apr-17 17:00:55

It would've been a good time to teach your dd that stuff like this isn't the end of the world, and that she could arrange things back to how she liked after her friend had gone

Iloveanimals Tue 04-Apr-17 17:01:07

Yeah. Your daughter needs to learn having friends round means they play things their way too

DearMrDilkington Tue 04-Apr-17 17:01:20

I'd have told dd to go to her room to calm down and come back when she wants to apologise to her friend for acting so badly.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Tue 04-Apr-17 17:01:26

Depends.

If they were obviously the wrong shoes then I can understand your DD's frustration.

It would bug me, especially as Barbie's clothes tend to be very coordinated.

VestalVirgin Tue 04-Apr-17 17:07:04

If you otherwise act as though your daughters' barbies are her own, then I do not think you should enforce "sharing" on her when friends visit.

Why not firmly tell the friend that if your DD says no to swapping shoes, then shoes will not be swapped?

Our society is built on the assumption that property is to be respected, I don't see why this should not apply to children.

VestalVirgin Tue 04-Apr-17 17:14:09

Your daughter needs to learn having friends round means they play things their way too

And what if the girl then decides that, if having friends round means not being allowed to have boundaries, she doesn't want to have friends? What then?

quencher Tue 04-Apr-17 17:18:40

*If you otherwise act as though your daughters' barbies are her own, then I do not think you should enforce "sharing" on her when friends visit.

Why not firmly tell the friend that if your DD says no to swapping shoes, then shoes will not be swapped?

Our society is built on the assumption that property is to be respected, I don't see why this should not apply to children.*
This made me stop and think! Mmm! Good point!

Maryhadalittlelambstew Tue 04-Apr-17 17:29:42

Yep. As hard as it is to see your child upset your DD needs to learn she can't always have things her way and the best way to help teach her that is not to pander to tantrums and fixing whatever she's crying about.

Allthebestnamesareused Tue 04-Apr-17 17:33:50

It depends- did the shoes match the outfit? grin

I'd have just told her she could change them back later!

deadringer Tue 04-Apr-17 18:08:44

Before my dc have friends round i give them the option to put anything they are fussy about away. Everything else is fair game. I try to avoid getting involved in any kind of dispute, in this case i would have left them to sort it out between themselves unless it really got out of hand. Your dd does need to learn that friends won't always play her way even when playing with her toys.

Sisinisawa Tue 04-Apr-17 18:57:33

I think the friend needs to learn that if doing something upsets someone else then we don't do it, as a general rule.

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