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to find DH and his best buy relationship OTT?

(31 Posts)
Skipperoo1 Tue 04-Apr-17 15:54:00

We have 2 children, 5 months and 22 months. DH works with this bloke so spends all day with him, and travels to and from work with him, and when he gets home will often park down the road so I don't know he's home and sit and chat with this friend before coming in, sometimes for up to an hour! They also text each other over the weekend when they're not together.

DH doesn't like to speak to me on the phone in front of his friend and often doesn't have time to text during the day but they have time to go to lunch together! It reminds me of the kind of intense friendship you have when you're a kid.

Is it me or is this a bit OTT and Brokeback Mountain?

PlayOnWurtz Tue 04-Apr-17 15:54:49

They're in a relationship

ThePiglet59 Tue 04-Apr-17 15:57:37

Sounds like a relationship to me too.

MagnumAddict Tue 04-Apr-17 16:00:03

It does seem a bit intense. Maybe he's never had a best friend/brother before?

Might be serving as a bit of an escape from a full on household with two young kids- not saying that's right by the way!

What are the friends circumstances? Is he single/ a dad too?

I wouldn't have thought there was anything more going on unless he has ever done anything to give you cause to suspect him?

HermioneJeanGranger Tue 04-Apr-17 16:00:26

Are you sure he's not having an affair with this man?

ThePiglet59 Tue 04-Apr-17 16:01:46

Mind you. 22 months and five months.
He may just want to speak to somebody who isn't pregnant!

Msqueen33 Tue 04-Apr-17 16:02:27

It's unusual. That said my dh is chatty and could easily have lunch with someone and have a chat in the car with him. He's not got a best mate but if he did I'm sure it wouldn't be unlike this.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 04-Apr-17 16:02:39

I wouldn't leap to 'relationship' and the fact that you do makes me think that you have had doubts.

IloveBanff Tue 04-Apr-17 16:03:33

Whose car are they travelling in? If it's your husband's how does the other bloke get home? Wouldn't he drop him off first? If they're spending all day every day together, it's a bit OTT that they have to talk for an hour after getting homework too. Also I don't get your title unless it was meant to be 'best buddy'.

IloveBanff Tue 04-Apr-17 16:04:17

Home not homework ^^

floraeasy Tue 04-Apr-17 16:04:22

Seems pretty intense, but maybe his friend just "gets" him and is great company. Do they have interests in common?

That's not to say that you should be okay with this and the time it's taking from his main relationship and responsibilities.

228agreenend Tue 04-Apr-17 16:14:30

Parking down the road and chatting for an hour is a bit strange.

gingina Tue 04-Apr-17 16:19:31

Have you met this friend?

WipsGlitter Tue 04-Apr-17 17:38:35

Sounds like he is avoiding being at home.

Scarftown Tue 04-Apr-17 18:57:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blackteasplease Tue 04-Apr-17 19:03:00

I agree. Avoiding being at home with small children.

Longdistance Tue 04-Apr-17 19:03:47

Are you sure it's a bloke?

Have you met him?

MagnumAddict Tue 04-Apr-17 20:52:39

Where are you OP? Anyone would think looking after your two small children is more important than answering our questions wink

donquixotedelamancha Tue 04-Apr-17 21:54:26

"They're in a relationship"

Yeah, its a well known fact that men can't have close relationships unless they are having sex.

Unless 'down the road' is in a layby and they work nights I think you are fine OP, let him have a friend. Any communication issues you two have isn't because of this.

AnyFucker Tue 04-Apr-17 21:59:45

Well, you are a mug aren't you no matter the nature of this "relationship"

You know his heart and mind is elsewhere and yet you continue to spectate

More fool you, and yes you are being made a fool of

TiffanyAtBreakfast Wed 05-Apr-17 00:22:08

Bit intense. Have you talked to your DH about this OP? If this was my DH I would be asking him to take a step back from the friendship. If that's what it is.

MommaGee Wed 05-Apr-17 00:26:42

Tbh I wouldn't be impressed if DH was an hour late home every night when there's two kids waiting to see him and I've been with them all day. Even apart from the nature of their relationship I'd be wanting to know why he doesn't want to be home

Endlessmusings Wed 05-Apr-17 00:28:44

Wow AnyFucker who pissed in your cornflakes.

You can give constructive advice without telling the OP she's a mug.

juicygirly Wed 05-Apr-17 00:37:12

anyfucker has form for giving the bitchiest of replies when they're least needed hmm

Op, i mean I'm female but I can talk/text to my friends on the phone loads, all day every day. I'm definitely not in a relationship with any of them! Dh does get abit peeved off that I'm on my phone so much but he can shove off because I don't care frankly grinwink

Wineandrosesagain Wed 05-Apr-17 06:14:14

I agree with AnyFucker - why would you tolerate this? Even if it is just a friendship, it's an oddly intense one and who sits in a car with a work colleague down the road for an hour rather than getting himself home to the family? Have you challenged him about it?

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