AIBU in retracting our offer on house

[user1491297286]

DH and I found a property we loved last week and (after months of searching) decided to put in an offer. Our first offer was rejected and we eventually agreed to meet the vendors half way, resulting in us agreeing to pay 5k more for the house than we wanted to and going to the top of our budget. The vendors accepted our offer on the basis that they found somewhere themselves. Last night, DH and I discussed things again and revaluated our finances and outgoings should we purchase the house.

Although we can afford the mortgage, we are putting ourselves in a position where we would be stretching ourselves and would be worried about finances each month. We also considered interest rates rising, and the fact we want to start a family, which again could mean we would be unable to afford the repayments in 5 years’ time.

Last night we had a message to say the vendors have found somewhere and have had an offer accepted today so they are ready to proceed. We both feel absolutely terrible and stupid. We should have evaluated things properly before placing an offer but we fell in love with the property and got carried away.

Are we going to be blacklisted for pulling out here?! I feel our reason is rather pathetic and embarrassing but cannot think of any other reason to give!

[Tobuyornot99]

OP I don't see what difference 5k will make on a 25 year mortgage. You've been looking for ages, you've found a house you love, unless you are sure you'll find another you love for 5k less then go for it. Unless of course you stay where you are and just accept that. It sounds like a touch of cold feet is all.

[AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered]

£5k is a tiny amount over 25 years - if you can't afford the mortgage with that added, then you can't afford it at £5k less. You can absolutely pull out, 1 in 3 sales doesn't go through, but please do lower you expectations of what you can afford.

[BeeFarseer]

I agree - 5K more is nothing really. I say that as a very skint person too, but we're talking about houses. If it was 10k more, you'd have a point.

If 5k is really going to be the difference between being ok and not being ok, then you shouldn't be buying any house really.

[smilingsarahb]

Don't buy a house you can't afford because you feel sorry for someone else, (who will find another buyer) but is 5k really going to make that much difference or do you mean you'd already offered way more than you could afford and that 5k reminded you. It is easy to get bid up and up 5k at a time and suddenly realise you are 20k over what you we'd comfortable with.

[Littledidsheknow]

Another a bit surprised that 5k could possibly make much difference. If it really does then you're already way overstretched.

Pulling out is fine. Happens all the time for all sorts of reasons. There's no blacklist of puller outers!

[JigglyTuff]

I agree that £5k is nothing. Are you absolutely sure you're not getting first time buyer fear?

[TheSnowFairy]

Don't forget the pluses over time too - pay rises, bonuses etc etc.

If you have spent months searching and love it you will kick yourselves down the line if you let it go.

[user1491297286]

Sorry, I should have made things more clear. We understand that 5k is nothing at all, the offer has caused us to look at our finances and realise that we are viewing properties at the top end of our budget and we are out of our depth. Over time we gradually had been looking at houses more and more expensive to find what we liked, and before we know it we are in this position. We have revaluated and realistically we should be looking at much cheaper properties – those around 30k cheaper in order for us to be comfortable and enjoy our lives rather than just getting by!

[Gamtanner]

Agree with the others on here - 5k is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I wish we'd have stretched ourselves more when we bought our last house. We played it safe and I regret it a lot. We could have afforded a detached with a bit of a stretch but we went for a semi. Now I'm stuck here in a house we've outgrown.

[Gamtanner]

X post re the 5k but the rest of my post still stands. I'd think carefully about playing it safe.

[Tobuyornot99]

OP I uderstand better now, say you wanted to spend 170 but you've ended up spending 200k, the 5k is just an anomaly really. If you can't comfortably afford it then pull out now before you waste money on fees. Look at houses for your original budget, but accept that it won't be yur dream home, maybe it'll be a 5 year house, which brings it's own expenses and stress.

[smilingsarahb]

I am cautious by nature and think it's sensible to factor in that children are very expensive so making things too tight for yourself would be very depressing. Childcare or salary losses are huge.

But...do remember if you are thinking of children to look at the property a bit more longer term. I don't know where you are in the country, but if that 30k Is the difference between one and two bedrooms or two and three is probably worth stretching. If is round my bit of the country you could spend 30k difference on having a couple of working chimneys and a sash windows which quite frankly you might prefer the financial flexibility when you have a baby a bit more important.

[thatdearoctopus]

Pity you didn't have that conversation before you put an offer in. Having suffered financially from buyers like you in the past, I'd say you probably shouldn't be in the housing market at all if that's evidence of the lack of thought you've put in. It's a serious business.

But, if you're going to pull out, then do so right now. Don't leave it any longer or your vendors will be out-of-pocket on any surveys they action on their new property.

[Goldfishjane]

Will you be blacklisted? You mean by the agent?
I don't know but if you feel bad for not doing finances properly, you'd do them a favour by letting them know ASAP.
The couple will be furious and I don't blame them but shit happens.

[Goldfishjane]

Agree, don't see anything else till you've done full proper reviews of what you're prepared to spend, you're wasting other people's time if you don't.

[hungryhippo90]

it sounds like you have looked at this objectively. the 30k drop will make a difference in the long run.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Dh and always stretched ourselves and have borrowed to our limit. It's how you go up the property ladder. At an interest rate of around 4% this will make £150 a month difference. But you wouldn't be paying anything like this for at least 2 years. In your position could you not go for a longer term fixed rate?

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

Pull out now, if you are sure that you don't wish to proceed.
You will not be blacklisted.
Just telephone the EA, and simply tell them, that you have decided , after much consideration, to withdraw your offer.
Don't get dragged into a pointless, drawn out conversation.
Happy house hunting ! 😄

[Mummyoflittledragon]

If you decide it's definitely not for you, pull out now. You can pull out up to the day of exchange but that's not something to be recommended!

[BadTasteFlump]

Hmm not sure on this one.

When we bought our 'forever' home, which we loved straight away and still do, we were absolutely pushing the top end of our budget. But despite the recession hitting soon after the sale went through and things being tight for a few years, we never regretted the move.

Generally speaking, the rise in property values, increase in salaries, etc usually means the problem solves itself. But of course you have to do what you're comfortable with.

Would you be able to take out a longer term mortgage for a few years then switch to a shorter one when your finances improve a bit?

[scottishdiem]

If you cant really afford it then you should indeed pull out.

However if that house is what you want and where you want and is as big as you need for future family aspirations then you need to consider how you will feel living in a place that you might not like as much or in a property that is too small etc.

There have been threads here where people have moved to areas that make them desperately unhappy for some reason and really needing to move back. Dont fall into that trap.

But definitely only do what you can afford.

[Hereward1332]

5k isn't necessarily a drop in the ocean. If you're already at maximum mortgage and can't add it to the loan you have to find it up front.

Being sensible about your budget is sensible. Pulling out will annoy the vendors, but is par for the course, Better do it at this stage than just before exchange.

[August1984]

Definitely pull out with sincere apologies. It'll be gutting for them but you should only buy what you can comfortably afford- like you say imagine if you had childcare fees to pay each month, inflation is rising, the BOE interest rate will rise at some point and even 1% makes a huge cost difference. You wont be blacklisted, just don't put in any more offers until you're sure. I know i couldn't stretch another £30k, its no small change.

[CotswoldStrife]

If you are going to pull out, do it now - your buyers have already made an offer and their vendors may be house-hunting as well. It's going to affect more people the longer you leave it. Don't view any further properties that you can't afford as it is wasting everyone's time, including yours

[KitKat1985]

Oh dear, the poor vendors. Think really carefully here. A lot of buyers get cold feet but if you really love this house then it may not be the worst thing to stretch your budget slightly. But if you don't feel that you can proceed you need to pull out sooner rather than later.