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AIBU to think that the blame lies with sainsbury !

(33 Posts)
Lonelymummyof1 Tue 04-Apr-17 00:51:57

( light hearted )

So 8 weeks ago my sort of boyfriend / just stays over saturday nights was on his way over now this has been a weekly routine for about 14 months.

Anyway completely forgot that we had ran out of condoms.

So I get to sainsbury at 9.50 when it is meant to shut at 10 and the dam shutters are closed !

Erghhh

So anyway being stupid as as I am or just fairly impatient I went with oh well its only once right ...what harm could it do.

Fast foward today after a week of vomitting and a positive line appears on a stick.

Sainsbury if you shut at 10 shut at 10 not 9.50 !!!!!

Doublevodkaredbull Tue 04-Apr-17 01:00:08

You had unprotected sex. You knew the risks.

ClemDanfango Tue 04-Apr-17 01:01:57

Congratulations! Double get that stick out of your arse!

CrispPacket Tue 04-Apr-17 01:02:34

Take 'em to the cleaners ;)

SpreadYourHappiness Tue 04-Apr-17 01:05:13

The blame lies with you. You shouldn't have had sex without protection. Why didn't you take the morning after pill? (Note: it should only be used as emergency contraception.)

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 04-Apr-17 01:06:02

Congratulations. You'll have to call the baby Sainsbury. grin.
All jokes aside though. A new life has been created all because of shop being closed.

Lonelymummyof1 Tue 04-Apr-17 01:07:48

Wow people really did not get the light hearted part smile and thankyou I think 6 hours later my heart rate is back to normal and I can breath haha

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 04-Apr-17 01:08:03

Op said light hearted. Is this National don't crack a smile or No sense of humour dayhmm

ShoutOutToMyEx Tue 04-Apr-17 01:11:08

What was Mr Sainsbury's first name?! I know it begins with J... you'll have to call the baby that!

Congrats OP flowers

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 04-Apr-17 01:13:10

John James Sainsbury was his name. I like James for a boy.

Lonelymummyof1 Tue 04-Apr-17 01:14:56

I quite like james to ! smile

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 04-Apr-17 01:15:20

Ive just googled. John Benjamin Sainsbury was his name.
For a girl you could have Jonty Benita.grin

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 04-Apr-17 01:16:16

Who was John Benjamin, I wonder. confused

Lonelymummyof1 Tue 04-Apr-17 01:16:33

On the downside my 3 year old also over heard the fact There was a baby involvment and is now announcing
Mummy is having a baby to every person she possibly can !
Guessing not much chance of keeping james a secret haha

Lonelymummyof1 Tue 04-Apr-17 01:18:01

Oh wait now I am confused so no james john benjamin !
Maybe ben smile

FeralBeryl Tue 04-Apr-17 01:21:39

Bloody Hell!
Even without the word Lighthearted at the top of the post, I'd still have assumed this was a laugh hmm

Congratufrickinlations OP, most definitely Sainsbury at fault here. Contact the Fail immediately and practice your sadface.

I like 'Sainsbo' for a unisex myself?

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 04-Apr-17 01:24:15

Eldest son was Benjamin.

I like Jonty as well. Jonty Sainsbo?

Lonelymummyof1 Tue 04-Apr-17 01:25:42

Yes I can imagine the conversation when they ask mum why did you name me that !

BillSykesDog Tue 04-Apr-17 02:09:39

Yeah. I know the feeling. I sent DH there for KY Jelly and they'd run out. He bought Moroccan hummus instead. We still went at it, but my minge has been stinging like a bastard since. On the plus side, I'm not pregnant.

drspouse Tue 04-Apr-17 02:49:47

Is hummus condom-friendly?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds Tue 04-Apr-17 02:59:08

Jonty is awesome. Hummus-lubed sex maybe not so much.

For some reason the phrase Sex Lube and a Fish Slice come to mind grin

BeingATwatItsABingThing Tue 04-Apr-17 04:01:33

Haha. Most definitely Sainsbury's fault!

ClopySow Tue 04-Apr-17 06:49:02

You need a name change OP

hoopdeloop Tue 04-Apr-17 06:52:46

I think you need to write a strongly worded complaint on their FB page wink

Congratulations on bubba 🎈🎉🎊

BikeRunSki Tue 04-Apr-17 07:00:22

Congratulations OP

I blame the tiler who did our kitchen. If he'd finished on time, DH and I would have been in separate beds at his parents' house on the night DS was conceived. smile

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