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To be upset over my son's birthday party?

(116 Posts)
LongLiveTheChief Mon 03-Apr-17 22:35:20

So I sent invitations out to everyone in my son's class for his 5th birthday party. 11-2pm with superhero fancy dress. Obviously there will be food etc and I wrote on there that parents were welcome to leave their child and collect later if they wanted too.

Invitations went to the whole class as we've hired a big hall and bouncy castle so thought it was easier than trying to ask a 5 year old who his friends are as they seems to change every day.

Today in the playground I hear 3/4 mothers having a bit of a moan about the party. It's too long for their age, 3 hours, it's a Sunday and over lunch time.

AIBU to think maybe it would have been nice for them to have talked about this away from the school playground? They don't know who I am as I tend to keep myself to myself, I'm not in any cliques so overhearing this was a little hurtful. After all, my son would probably love their child to come and it would be costing us a couple of £ per child to feed and entertain for 3 hours.

I felt like saying something but I felt quite upset so didn't want it to come out wrong. I'm very sensitive person who suffers very badly with social anxiety but I just can't stop thinking about what they said and now I feel quite sad.

None of them have now text to say their child can't come but I'm pretty sure they won't be turning up!

AIBU to be upset?

Blinkyblink Mon 03-Apr-17 22:38:10

I feel for you but I agree with them on both points. They weren't bitching, they were having a bit of a thoughtless whinge.
The timing and duration... I agree with them

PurpleMinionMummy Mon 03-Apr-17 22:40:58

I can't see anything to whinge about. Yanbu.

coolaschmoola Mon 03-Apr-17 22:42:47

I always schedule parties over meal times - because I don't want my child eating a party tea at some random hour of the afternoon as it throws the rest of the day out. Mid afternoon and she's hungry at lunch time, on a sugar high from party food at dinner time, then starving at bedtime.

Three hours is a little long - I tend towards two, but I'd be really happy with the food timing. If my child is being given a meal then I'd like it to be over a meal time, not between meals!

user1475439961 Mon 03-Apr-17 22:46:45

I would love my children to go to a nice long party-it would tire them out for bed later! Yanbu! Parents should be happy their child is invited.

honeylulu Mon 03-Apr-17 22:47:40

It sounds great and I agree that party over a normal mealtime is best.
2 hours is average but ffs if they think 3 hours is too long, just come for 2 hours. The maths isn't difficult!

Lesley1980 Mon 03-Apr-17 22:47:52

I think most parents whine about kids parties. The adults sit around making small talk with other patents for 2 hours & I can think of 100 other things I'd rather do on the weekend. Try not to take it personally,

Chickenkatsu Mon 03-Apr-17 22:50:47

I bet that they will come, everyone loves to whine on the playground...

NoMudNoLotus Mon 03-Apr-17 22:51:05

Try not to take it personally flowers

The mummy mafia are in every playground the length & breadth of the country ... it's honestly more of a reflection on them than it is you.

Please don't let them upset you.

LagunaBubbles Mon 03-Apr-17 22:51:29

Over lunchtime is fine but 3 hours is a bit long for a kids party, all the ones my boys have been at are generally 2 hours.

Mum2jenny Mon 03-Apr-17 22:52:23

I thought 2-3 hours was standard for a kids party.

newmumwithquestions Mon 03-Apr-17 22:54:18

So I don't count as mine are young (oldest is 2.5) so I still get excited about kids parties (both hosting and attending) but I think a 3 hour party over lunchtime sounds great.

Hope for you and your sons sake it's good fun.

ladymariner Mon 03-Apr-17 22:54:21

Don't take it to heart, your party sounds great. Hope your ds has a lovely time.

dowhatnow Mon 03-Apr-17 22:55:48

Agree I like them over meal times but also agree 2 hours is better.

SoAngryArghh Mon 03-Apr-17 22:57:31

2 hours is better. Also did you ask them to RSVP by a certain date?

Crunchyside Mon 03-Apr-17 22:57:57

I think 3 hours makes sense given that you're hiring a hall so you kind of want to get your money's worth... I'm having my son's 3rd birthday at a local farm and the party area is technically booked from 10am-1pm but I've put 11am-1pm on the invite as 3 hours is definitely too long for 3 year olds. I'm sure at 5 they can manage 3 hours of fun! Surely they are out and about playing, eating etc just as long on family days out. I don't understand what their problem is, they don't even have to stay unless they really want to!

They sound horrible OP. Try not to overthink it and get anxious, sometimes people really are are just horrible and we have to protect our own sanity. Do you know any other mums of kids that are going, you could have a chat to? Someone who might be a bit more positive about it? smile

3boys3dogshelp Mon 03-Apr-17 22:58:59

YANBU - it's disappointing when you've put the effort in to arrange something nice and hear people whinging. I agree 3 hours may be a little long but it's hardly the end of the world! Try not to let them get to you, the party is for your ds not them. I hope he enjoys his party.

RaeSkywalker Mon 03-Apr-17 22:59:38

Nothing wrong with it being over lunchtime as far as I'm concerned!

ShesAStar Mon 03-Apr-17 23:00:14

It's probably only one person moaning and the others just making noises she wants to hear. Don't take it to heart, I think having a party over a meal time is fab, otherwise I never know whether to feed before or after.

WatchingFromTheWings Mon 03-Apr-17 23:01:21

Ungrateful so-and-so's!! I've never bitched or moaned about a party like that. If it's over a dinner time, well it saves me cooking! I've never been to a kids party longer than 2 hours but they could have turned up a bit late/left a bit early if it's a problem.

Floggingmolly Mon 03-Apr-17 23:04:29

Miserable old trouts! How bloody rude!

Funnyface1 Mon 03-Apr-17 23:04:57

3 hours might be a touch long, 2 is usually just about right i find. But as for scheduling over lunch, to me that makes perfect sense. Parties have food and you will be feeding them on time instead of them having lunch at home, then trying to find an appetite an hour later at your party.

Don't let it upset you, unfortunately life is full of people who just don't think first. Plough on and have a great party for your child and those who attend.

Ohyesiam Mon 03-Apr-17 23:07:31

I think the play ground brings out social anxiety in lots of people, and a common way to deal with it is to wine and moan about everything. Free child entertainment and meal is not a thing to be moaned about. If their kids can do 6 hours at school they cab do a 3 hour party, it's a total non problem.
Days lots about th em, and nothing about you and your party plans.
Hope you and your son really enjoy it.

Funnyfarmer Mon 03-Apr-17 23:12:40

Some people just like to moan. They would probably moan if it wasn't long enough or it was too, late too early. I prefer party's to be over a meal time because the party food can be there meal. But if there the kind of family that enjoy a traditional family lunch on a Sunday it's probably a bit of an inconvenience for them, but they don't have to come. I'm sure he'll have plenty of friends turn up it sounds like a great party and I don't think 3 hours is too long. My dd is always gutted when party's are over.
People just moan for moaning sake. If it was me I would have to say something I can't leave things like that but I really think you shouldn't say anything and just let it go if that makes sense. Hope your ds has a fab day

sobeyondthehills Mon 03-Apr-17 23:12:50

I am new to this party thing, but the ones my son has been invited (about 5) to have all been over a lunch period, with the exception of one

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