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The think the law is skewed and unfair?

(11 Posts)
Needabreak101 Mon 03-Apr-17 16:08:17

I'm having a bit of a rant so this might be a bit muddled.

During my life I've been unfortunate enough to be victim of a number of serious crimes. All of which have caused me significant emotional trauma and financial loss.

Just for context one thing that happened to me was I was raped and the perpetrator was never prosecuted because of 'lack of evidence'. I'm not even sure that the police believed me and it didn't seem to be taken very seriously at the time. I'm not looking for sympathy but just pointing out the seriousness. Since then other things have happened of a different nature and no one has ever been brought to justice.

I was watching TV today and there was a woman who was victim of the Rotherham sex gang. She is campaigning for Sammys Law

Basically she committed crimes as a teenager as she was under the influence of violent child abuser who had groomed her. She now has a criminal record yet her abuser escaped justice for years.

On the same day that our house was burgled, and an officer didn't even visit our house, I received a speeding ticket through the post. I was doing 35 in a 30 zone, on a dual carriageway, which had been 40mph up until that week and I simply thought that the new lower speed limit started a bit further up the road.

I know that they are separate issues and that speeding is far from a victimless crime, it was a genuine mistake. Just feels like everything that's happened to me and the first time I break a rule I'm prosecuted.

Oh and I've asked for counselling through my GP but was told they don't provide counselling on the NHS as I'm not deemed to need it enough.

Meekonsandwich Mon 03-Apr-17 16:37:16

I'm very sorry those things happened to you ok sometimes the world doesn't seem just.

But doesn't mean the law shouldn't be upheld where possible. It was a camera or a van who got you i assume, since you got the fine in the post. so there's no human influence there, no lack of evidence, it's a law enforcing machine that did its job.

They're unrelated. no body should get away with breaking the law because of what's happened to them.

That would excuse burgulary and mugging because they grew up poor and they need to feed their kids or people abusing their partner's because they grew up being abused themselves.

Ignorance is not a defence as they say.

Again, I'm sorry, I hope you work through what happened to you. But take a deep breath, scream a bit and move on.

TitaniasCloset Mon 03-Apr-17 16:45:26

You need to fight and battle with your Gp to get put on the waiting list for long term counseling. Maybe ask to be referred to secondary psych team first and speak to a psychiatrist. Do not just give up because they told you no the first time. Perhaps contact Mind. You sound a bit depressed op, and that will make you more sensitive to everything.

My ex walked away from abusing me and my dd BTW, so I can understand how you feel.


Meekonsandwich Mon 03-Apr-17 16:46:27

Now I worried I came across harsh.

I mean that just because it seems unfair to you, doesn't mean it is.
What would be unfair is it they let you off because of your past when you did in fact break the law. mistake or not.

It's just unfortunate that it happened to catch you out.

But many many things in life are not fair. The employee that never gets told off for being late when they're late every day, you are late one day and you get a warning.

Sorry op.

MatildaTheCat Mon 03-Apr-17 16:47:45

There are endless examples of injustice but to some extent it's unsolvable. Coming to terms with being the victim of crime is hard and as a rape survivor I'm very surprised you don't qualify for counselling. Could you try Rape Crisis instead? Or push your GP for a referral?

Sorry for your traumas. flowers

MaidOfStars Mon 03-Apr-17 16:52:38

I think Sammy's law is arguing that the crimes committed by victims of sexual abuse on the scale of Rotherham are part of the spectrum of abuse, rather than that the abuse should be considered as a mitigating circumstance?

Needabreak101 Mon 03-Apr-17 17:39:59

Thanks for replying.

Meek no I know they're unrelated things.

Maidofstars I realise that Sammys law is about the crimes being part of the abuse. Btw I'm all for Sammys law, I think it's horrific that Sammy was actually arrested for a crime whilst she was found in bed with her abuser, yet he wasn't even arrested. Those girls were badly let down.

Something similar when I was a teenager happened though nowhere near on the scale of the Rotherham crimes, but it was triggering to watch.

I don't think I should get off with the speeding fine just because I've had a hard time! Sorry if that's how it came across. Rather it almost feels like it's easy to catch someone making a mistake. I know deep down it doesn't work like that and I'm against speeding.

I don't know, I kind of know what I'm saying doesn't make sense, it makes me angry thinking about those who have got away with so much. I'm sorry it's happened to other people too.

I was diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety but was seen to be coping. I was referred for four sessions of CBT but it didn't really scratch the surface. I was told counselling on the NHS was only for very severe depression.

I sort of feel like I need to process all the stuff that's gone on.

TitaniasCloset Mon 03-Apr-17 17:45:33

I really had to fight to get long term therapy on the NHS but I'm glad i did. Mind offers an advocacy service and could perhaps write letters for you?

Needabreak101 Mon 03-Apr-17 17:49:25

Meek i didn't think you were being harsh. You're right the speed camera is a machine and it's not personal.

Titanius I do need to get some more help. I think I'm ok but then something triggers everything.

UnderTheDesk Mon 03-Apr-17 19:51:30

I'm not in the U.K. So have no advice, but I just wanted to give you a hug because you really sound like you could use one. I'm sorry all these shitty things keep happening to you and I don't blame you for being slightly bitter. I am as well for similar reasons. I hope you can catch a break soon ne that life starts going better for you. Take care of yourself. Xx

TitaniasCloset Mon 03-Apr-17 20:45:58

flowers cake

You have had a really shitty time of it op and no its not fucking fair, take good care of yourself.

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