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Babysitting arrangement AIBU

(66 Posts)
fortheroses76 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:50:23

This just niggles and I would NEVER dream of saying anything just wondered what other thought.
Recently, I had to change my hours. To cut a long story short, my MIL agreed to come over and take children to school and be there for pick up. She isn't local and we have been extremely grateful for this as without her I am not sure i could have changed my hours.
However, ever since she started she has chosen to go away on holiday during term time. My DH says we should just be thankful that she does this for us. I agree but it is irritating as it means other arrangements have to be made. Its not just for a few days but it can be for two weeks/ten days etc. She also seems to do this just before/after a school holiday. I appreciate how much she does for us and that non term holidays are cheaper but just wanted others views on this. Its always bugged me a bit.

fortheroses76 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:51:21

She does this frequently throughout the year.

Grenoble124 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:51:43

Are you paying her?

fortheroses76 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:52:23

Sorry, she also doesnt come over for the kids everyday, just two days.

fortheroses76 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:52:34


HeyCat Mon 03-Apr-17 15:52:47

So long as she's giving you a reasonable amount of notice, I think that's fine. You can't seriously expect her to be tied to school holiday times, they're much more expensive.

fortheroses76 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:52:49

We offered but she refused it.

BorpBorpBorp Mon 03-Apr-17 15:53:12

Does she give you enough notice to comfortably make other plans?

noisewithdirton Mon 03-Apr-17 15:53:27

I agree with your DH - you should be grateful as she is providing you with free childcare which most people have to pay for. She is doing you a favour and perfectly entitled to go on holiday whenever she chooses surely!!

HeyCat Mon 03-Apr-17 15:53:45

Even if you employed a full time nanny they'd expect to take holidays in term time (unless you pay way over the going rate to cover the extra cost of travel in school holidays).

HirplesWithHaggis Mon 03-Apr-17 15:54:21

If your hours have only changed "recently", how many term-time holidays has she taken? confused

fortheroses76 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:54:22

Sometimes she does, sometimes not.
I am glad you are saying this. Sometimes I feel bad thinking it. I just wanted to air it.

user1483387154 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:54:43

YABU you get free help for most of the year.

xStefx Mon 03-Apr-17 15:55:07

Holidays are surely cheaper when its term time though? is this why she is booking them at that time? No point her doing you a free favour and also paying extra money to go on holiday.
I would say nothing as you said and just find alternative arrangements fro the two days.

fortheroses76 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:55:44

I cant honestly say how many but a fair few in a year.

BeaveredBadgered Mon 03-Apr-17 15:55:45

YABU- you're lucky to have free childcare at all.

TotalPineapple Mon 03-Apr-17 15:56:25

I think if someone has offered/agreed to do childcare it's reasonable for them to fulfil their promise. I think one holiday a year with a decent amount of notice is to be expected, but more than that would annoy me.

TheFlyingFauxPas Mon 03-Apr-17 15:56:31

What were her holiday patterns before? Did she always avoid term- time holidays then? I think anyone with any sense and without children, unless they're absolutely loaded, or particularly love the happy squealing and screeching of others' precious little ones would chose to holiday at other times! You say it's a recent arrangement. Maybe these holidays had been preplanned. What will you do in school holidays? Will you still work? Maybe MIL's help may be even more valuable to you then?

fortheroses76 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:56:32

I would say nothing believe me. I appreciate her coming over and she has been very good. Sometimes it niggles and i think not again!

RainbowPastel Mon 03-Apr-17 15:56:51

YABVU she is doing your a HUGE favour and you are moaning about her taking a holiday occasionally.

fortheroses76 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:57:26

No the holidays arent preplanned. i say recent but its over a couple of years.

willconcern Mon 03-Apr-17 15:57:30

Why should she pay extra to go on holiday in holiday time? When I retire I too plan to go on holiday when it's term time. She isn'the your employee. If you want an employee, hire someone.

Hissy Mon 03-Apr-17 15:58:00

You. Absolutely. Don't. Know. You're. Born.

I am aghast at your attitude! Seriously.

fortheroses76 Mon 03-Apr-17 15:58:54

Yes, i appreciate she is very good to us. I only make a comment to my dh. i wouldnt dream of saying anything to anyone in rl.

trixymalixy Mon 03-Apr-17 15:59:10


I hope you pay her travel costs to come and provide you with free childcare if she's not local to you.

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