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AIBU?

DFIL might be very ill and I can't take it

6 replies

JonesyAndTheSalad · 03/04/2017 12:59

He had a diagnoses of prostate cancer ten years ago but has been fine with ongoing treatment.

However, the medications were making his bones brittle so he came off one of them and today he had to go to get the results of a lump in his lower back.

DH rang him before the appointment and FIL said he'd ring DH "later".

DFIL hasn't rung and I'm so worried. I love DFIL and lost my own DDAD fifteen years ago to cancer so this is making me feel very wobbly...I'm worried about how DH will cope and about how I'll cope...selfish as that sounds.

DH hasn't rung up because he says his Dad will ring him when he's ready. Does that sound ok or should I be encouraging DH to ring his Dad up? It's nine thirty at night here...we're in Oz.

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WorraLiberty · 03/04/2017 13:00

Aww, sorry to hear this.

Perhaps he could send a basic text, asking how it went?

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BertsBlanket · 03/04/2017 13:07

A text is a good idea, if he's worried about breaking down on the phone or something then he can avoid it. Are you close enough to go round if he'd want it?

I don't think the lateness would matter would it? Either it's bad news and he's more than likely sat awake, or it's good news and one late night from disturbing him won't matter at all.

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BertsBlanket · 03/04/2017 13:08

And for you OP

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JonesyAndTheSalad · 03/04/2017 13:08

Thanks. Not close enough to pop round no...it's under an hour away. I think I might have to "manage" DH a bit. He tends to under react to things and then it hits him later....so I might have to tell him to contact his Dad in the morning....

He could text or ring then I suppose. DFIL lives with DHs sister so at least he's not on his own.

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BertsBlanket · 05/04/2017 11:22

How are you Jonesy? Did you manage to get hold of FIL in the end?

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JonesyAndTheSalad · 05/04/2017 12:01

Thanks BErts. We did the next day. It is cancer. Bone cancer was all I could get out of DH. DH is being very stoic.

FIL has to have radiotherapy for three months.

I don't even know what's going on with him as DH is pretending everything's fine.

I sent MIL a text but she hasn't replied. They're not together any more, MIL and FIL but she still sees him as a friend and she will be worried.

I don't want to press DH about the details too much.

What could this mean? It's in his sacrum.