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AIBU?

Friend claiming benefits and don't have the kids?

70 replies

laughwithmeleelee · 02/04/2017 23:45

Hi...need some advice for a good friend.

He is struggling to make ends meet since him and his wife split up..they are on reasonable talking terms and it was an amicable split. She kept rented house and he moved into a new rented house and has zero money. He works full time and still has no money due to bills to pay etc

She seems to have a fortune due to benefits paid to her as she is a single mum, totally above board and obviously entitled to it, they have 3 children who he has half the time, literally the time split in two, in fact he probably has the kids more than she does. However she gets all the money and he gets nothing? Personally I don't see how that's fair, if they share custody why does the mum get all the benefits?

Is there anything he can do?

OP posts:

Report

NotStoppedAllDay · 02/04/2017 23:54

They can make maintenance reductions if he has them overnight

19lottie82 · 02/04/2017 23:55

Unfortunately not. Benefits can only be awarded to one parent, even if care is split 50/50.

PortiaCastis · 03/04/2017 00:03

Benefits do not give anyone a fortune and I hope the woman in question is getting cm

laughwithmeleelee · 03/04/2017 00:07

She is getting child maintenance as well, but she is getting a fortune, a lot more money than needed she has openly admitted to having a lot of spare cash, but he is feeding the kids 5/7 nights and doesn't get a penny?

OP posts:

fakenamefornow · 03/04/2017 00:07

I hope the woman in question is getting cm

Why would he need to pay her cm if he has the kids more than 50% of the time?

laughwithmeleelee · 03/04/2017 00:08

He is paying her CM as well this is thing, he is skint and takes kids school picks them up and does everything and yet doesn't get a penny? It's wrong isn't it!

OP posts:

Grilledaubergines · 03/04/2017 00:09

If he has children half the time, she shouldn't be getting child maintenance.

19lottie82 · 03/04/2017 00:10

If he ACTUALLY has the kids more than 50% of the time he can put in a counterclaim I think, but he will need proof that he is the main caregiver.

But I agree with the other posters...... I seriously doubt his ex is "getting a fortune".

Grilledaubergines · 03/04/2017 00:10

He needs to stop with that then OP. The aim of a relationship split isn't to financially destroy either party.

HereThereThen · 03/04/2017 00:13

That sounds harsh and unfair.

laughwithmeleelee · 03/04/2017 00:14

Ok maybe "a fortune" is a slight exaggeration but she says she has £800 spare cash after bills are paid for as she gets dla for one child as well. She is a great mum and they get on fairly well just a shame from the money side, they always struggled for money and she has openly admitted to enjoying having money to spare for a change; custody is literally split in 2...2 nights with one and then 2 nights with the other and then back again

OP posts:

Birdsgottaf1y · 03/04/2017 00:14

""He is paying her CM as well this is thing, he is skint and takes kids school picks them up and does everything and yet doesn't get a penny? It's wrong isn't it!""

So has he taken time of work for the whole Easter holiday, what will happen over the Summer holidays?

He needs to review his maintenance payments if he does have them 50/50.

laughwithmeleelee · 03/04/2017 00:15

He is a shift worker 2 on 2 off so he doesn't need time off over Easter he has the kids every 2 off and she has them on 2 on! It is literally split 50/50

OP posts:

Babyroobs · 03/04/2017 00:16

Only one of them can claim the tax credits and child benefit although if they share them 50:50, he could claim the tax credits and child benefit for one of the kids or they could try to work it out fairly.
It is all dependent on their income though as to whether they can claim tax credits.
If he has them 50% of the time he shouldn't have to pay CM really.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 03/04/2017 00:18

Well the obvious solution is to share the money so I'm not understanding why they aren't doing this?

Babyroobs · 03/04/2017 00:18

If a child is on DLA, the tax credit award goes up a lot as a disability premium is added. However DLA is meant to cover the extra expenses that a disability brings.

Birdsgottaf1y · 03/04/2017 00:21

How did they make the decision about CM?

That's what needs reviewing.

KitKats28 · 03/04/2017 00:21

Those of you who are saying it's not a fortune? A single parent with three kids who isn't working can claim £683 every four weeks in tax credits. Maintenance is not taken into account. If they don't live in a Universal Credit area, then there will be housing benefit and council tax benefit on top of this.

Ok, so it's not a massive amount, but it adds up to more than a lot of people earn working full time. I think it's bloody disgusting that one parent gets all of it when care is shared 50/50.

LauderSyme · 03/04/2017 00:21

It is receipt of Child Benefit which confers entitlement to claim other benefits for dependant children.
So when parents don't live together, it is only the parent who has the Child Benefit claim in their name who is treated as having dependant children. So they can then claim Child Tax Credits, extra Housing Benefit etc.
The other parent who is not receiving the Child Benefit will be assumed not to have any dependant children by the benefits system.
Child Benefit claims can only be made in one name, not joint names. Unfortunately no, there isn't anything your friend can do about this.

HeddaGarbled · 03/04/2017 00:33

Oh for fucks sake, single mothers do not get a fortune in benefits. They are one of the poorest people in the UK and frequently have to rely on food banks to feed their children.

If she's getting DLA then one of the children has a disability.

He works full time so clearly she's doing all the childcare for 3 children, one of whom has a disability. Like fuck does he have them half the time.

Your friend needs advice? He has 3 children, one of whom has a disability. It's hard to have to finance them but it's a damn sight harder to be with them all day every day. 3 overnights a week and most of his income is reasonable and is probably stopping her from going under.

Babyroobs · 03/04/2017 00:36

Op says he has them for 2 days then they go to their mum for 2 days so surely that is equal parenting?

Mombie2016 · 03/04/2017 00:38

kitkat I'm currently not working, 3DC, single parent, I get £100 a week in tax Credits I bloody wish it was £600+

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Babyroobs · 03/04/2017 00:41

Mombie- I was under the impression tax credits should be around £60 a week per child. Perhaps you should check you are getting the right amount? Then around £50 pw child benefit.
In this case, tax credits will be greatly increased by the disability premium.

Babyroobs · 03/04/2017 00:43

A non working lone parent would also get income support or Job seekers, Housing benefit, council tax reduction .

Darbs76 · 03/04/2017 00:43

If she's in receipt of DLA for one child she will get the DLA cash (no idea how much) plus an enhancement on tax credits plus enchancernt on HB so it's a fair amount - it's for expenses that a disabled child will bring. So she probably does have a fair amount of money left over. I think it's unreasonable he's paying maitenance if he's sharing 50/50, he should at least be paying reduced maintenance

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