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Upset by friends reaction?

(13 Posts)
Endlessmusings Sun 02-Apr-17 22:30:40

A lot time coming. Felt increasingly sidelined by my group of friends, very much an afterthought. Lots of double standards. Laughed at.

I found myself at the point where I was making excuses not to see them. At the same time only felt I was asked due to our history ... and whether I was there or not then hardly any of them would basically care.

I decided to bite the bullet and text one of them and say I really appreciated that she'd asked me to meet up with them last weekend but I feel so uncomfortable and that is why I don't go anymore.

She read the message within 10 minutes and then took 2 days to respond. Basically just said that she's sorry I feel like that. End of.

Aibu to think if she saw me as a friend then she would -

A - appreciate that I was truthful
B - would have asked me why I felt like that
C - asked that I was ok/anything she could do.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't expecting her to drop everything and make me/my feelings a priority.

It's just all the above I would do for a friend.

SleepFreeZone Sun 02-Apr-17 22:32:22

It does sound like she's not particularly bothered. Sorry OP 😕

EZA15 Sun 02-Apr-17 22:32:35

Did you tell her why you were uncomfortable? Maybe she was wondering how best to reply? I'm known for taking a while to reply while I phrase the answer the best I can

JamesDelaneysHat Sun 02-Apr-17 22:33:45

You've made the right decision to stop seeing them then.

Endlessmusings Sun 02-Apr-17 22:34:13

Yeah Sleep sums it up really.

EZA I didn't elaborate on why I felt uncomfortable.

ChasedByBees Sun 02-Apr-17 22:38:51

If you didn't elaborate maybe she felt you were rejecting them?

amazingtracy Sun 02-Apr-17 22:53:43

One of these situations where your method of communication was totally wrong. It clearly wasn't a "texting" situation. I would have had no idea what you would have wanted in this situation. My experience in similar situations would have been to accept an arse chewing from the slighted party and not be allowed to defend or explain myself.

Full disclosure- I have a friend who is going through major shit at the moment and she is quite liable to stunts like this and be totally breezy the morning after giving me merry hell the night before. I now know to blank the goading and realise that she's deflecting on whats really going on with her.

owenjonesismyhero Sun 02-Apr-17 23:08:34

That is how you know you've made the right decision.

Good friends don't do that; it isn't like you've decided to take your dry cleaning elsewhere. sad

TheMysteriousJackelope Sun 02-Apr-17 23:10:27

She probably spent two days thinking how to respond. It is a tricky situation to navigate via text. Maybe she thought her non-committal answer gave an opening for you to give her more information? Or she doesn't care. That's the problem with texts, they don't give scope for feelings and thoughts to come through.

If you want to maintain a friendship with her, phone her and talk about what is going on.

hmcAsWas Sun 02-Apr-17 23:13:57

They keep inviting you along...why would they do that if they didn't want to see you? Are you perhaps being a tiny bit paranoid?

BackforGood Sun 02-Apr-17 23:19:55

I agre with amazing. That was such an odd thing to text, she probably needed to think about it (or even ask someone else what they thought) before replying.

HorridHenryrule Sun 02-Apr-17 23:57:17

I really appreciated that she'd asked me to meet up with them last weekend but I feel so uncomfortable and that is why I don't go anymore.

I'm in two minds about this in one way you was being rude and in another you was being honest. She most probably spoke to the others about it and came to a conclusion about you and your attitude. You can't force yourself to like people find people who have the same interests as you. Don't ever think you're a bad person because of this you out grew them mourn and move on.

HorridHenryrule Mon 03-Apr-17 00:00:29

If you don't to end your friendship with these women then ring one of them up to talk about it.

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