To feel knackered all the time?(12 Posts)
Sorry not really aibu so switch off now if I've disappointed you.
3dcs, 8,6 and 3. Work pt. dp pretty good, hands on, although quite busy and focused on his hobbies. I'm knackered. Every day is full on start to finish. I have no real time to myself. It's kids or work and I have no every for anything else. Will it get easier? How can I accept this life? Will I ever get any energy back? Am I being pathetic and do others manage more than me? Feeling hopeless.
Can you outsource anything? Do you have a cleaner?
If dp can have time for hobbies, why can't you have time for you?
Yanbu. I have one DD aged 7, pretty well behaved, and a fairly hands on DP (though ill at the mo) and am always tired. I always wonder how people manage with more DC so well done!
I took up meditation but struggle to do more than 10 mins at a time as I drift off!
My health has never been perfect though so think this is the way it is for me.
Can't fit my interests in because I've no brain space for them. Can't imagine having enough energy. It's just kids, kids.
Poor you bing sounds exhausting
Sounds like you need to try to carve out some time for yourself. Is there anything you can change about your current setup? As LucyLockett said, can you outsource anything e.g. cleaning? Do you need/want to work? Could you reduce your hours if that would help? I would also have a serious conversation with your DP about how you are feeling, you both should have time to focus on yourself whether that is doing a hobby or going out with friends etc. What do you think would help make your situation better?
Do you have support from friends/family?
I do have support from family but I would need to ask. Otherwise we just bumble on each day the same. I do need to work and I enjoy work. Can't really justify a cleaner. I really don't know what would make things better other than for my kids to be better behaved and give me a bit of time to slow down in the day.
Focused on his hobbies.
Really? With such young kids?
He needs to make his family his first priority. Hobbies come second.
It sounds so tiring!!
My DH has more hobbies than me that usually take him away one evening a week and one day at the weekend for about 6 hours.
As I do not get time away in this manner our compromise is thar one night a week, a night before I have work the next day, I go and spend the night at my mum's house. It's bliss!! An uninterrupted evening, a nice bath, hot cups of tea and the knowledge that I'm going to have an uninterrupted nights sleep and no children to deal with in the morning
Then can you talk to your DP about a creating some time for you? It isn't fair if one partner has time for hobbies but the other doesn't. Is he aware you are feeling hopeless?
If you haven't the brain space for hobbies can you just do something like going for a walk/swimming, lunch or a night out with friends, a relaxing day at a spa - whatever you would enjoy that doesn't require too much thinking but gives you a bit of time out from family life. Life must be really full-on with 3 young DCs and working PT. You deserve some time for yourself.
Great idea from Writer - could you do that?
Solidarity, OP. Full time job, two DCs (4&2) here and perpetually exhausted. I hit the ground running at 5:45am then don't get my own time until after 8pm. Weekends aren't much better as the DCs don't know how to sleep much past 6am (GroClock-SchmoClock). Short of having more hours in the day or having less sleep (which is barely possible) I laugh slightly hysterically when someone suggests 'carving out time for yourself'. I do have a cleaner, which is just as well or it simply wouldn't happen. I have no hobbies because, as you say, no headspace or energy. If, on the rare occasion I am free of both children and work, simply staring at a wall uninterrupted seems like a rare luxury, and even then, I'd rather just get in bed.
I also have a long term endocrinal condition which I was diagnosed with last year which I'm coming to grips with, and which does not help, but even once that's under control, I can't honestly see any light at the end of the tunnel.
To rub salt in the wound, I'm under a neurologist for migraines who has ordered me off all caffeine. IT'S FUCKING MURDER.
Watching to see if anyone has any magic bullets.
Elphaba. Very similar here. Up early and then don't stop until earliest 8. Then too tired for much else. I also have chronic migraine and on my headache days I feel everything is worse x20. I have underactivs thyroid so thinking I must get my level checked but it will prob be in range.
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