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To ask for a hand hold?

(18 Posts)
Farontothemaddingcrowd Sat 01-Apr-17 23:53:12

I feel a bit shaky tonight. Not really an AIBU sorry. I forgot to renew my anti depressants so I'm wobbly. I'm stressing because I have got locked out of my yahoo account. All my travel documents are on there for my holiday in July and my booking reference etc. In my irrational mind, that means I can't go now. Even though I can ring the company and I'm sure they'll sort it! They have my bank details etc. I went out last night and was verbally harassed by a drunk man (called me a whore because I ignored him). I had an abusive relationship end in Dec. I just feel, wobbly, wibbly....
I need a hand hold. It's all OK, isn't it. I'm not going to lose my holiday and my sanity and I am not a bad person....

ImperialBlether Sat 01-Apr-17 23:54:31

You won't lose your holiday, don't worry. You're panicking now, but it'll be okay. Can you make yourself a hot drink?

thegoodnameshadgone Sat 01-Apr-17 23:55:53

Calm down. All these things can be fixed. Chill out. Make a list and add dates when they can be fixed. Look at the dates when they can be fixed and mark them off. Xx big hugs

Farontothemaddingcrowd Sat 01-Apr-17 23:56:41

That's a good idea. I'll have a hot chocolate. Even though I know I'm not rational the panic is genuine. It's really strange. I feel like my mind goes very fast

thegoodnameshadgone Sat 01-Apr-17 23:56:43

The drunk man. He's prob still drunk and doesn't remember it. Wipe it from your mind. Xxxx

Farontothemaddingcrowd Sun 02-Apr-17 00:00:44

Thank you. It helps sometimes to know I'm not being rational from an outsider's point of view. I have a galaxy hot chocolate and some French fries crisps.

thegoodnameshadgone Sun 02-Apr-17 00:09:16

Glad your feeling better

MrsEvadneCake Sun 02-Apr-17 00:10:23

Hi Far. I did the same. Had a couple of wobbly days. I promise you it's all easily sorted and you'll go on your hols.

I find this helpful. It's a breathing thing for anxiety.

Farontothemaddingcrowd Sun 02-Apr-17 00:11:15

Thanks thegoodname, I am trying to relax a bit. I wish I had someone here to cuddle me today, but I'm talking to myself in a reassuring voice (I sound bonkers) and that helps a bit. I shouldn't let my prescription run out like that.

Farontothemaddingcrowd Sun 02-Apr-17 00:14:18

I've just done that Mrs E. I like the visual prompt. Feel calmer after a few deep breaths. It's funny how you are not aware of your breathing speeding up when you get anxious. I want to try not to solve any issues tonight, just put them aside.

wonderingagain21 Sun 02-Apr-17 00:19:18

Can you distract yourself with something, maybe some tv? It will all seem easier to deal with in the morning - you need to find something else to do now - I ended up cleaning my kitchen at 2am last week!

Farontothemaddingcrowd Sun 02-Apr-17 00:24:17

Yes that's a good plan. I find it hard to concentrate but documentaries are quite good. My mind was just wandering to my horrific ex a minute ago (he was an affectionate person apparently but recoiled from touching me at the end, except for sex. He'd sit on a separate sofa and refuse to touch me and say I was clingy if I tried to cuddle him).
I dumped him, he's gone, it's just a memory and I'll feel better a) in the morning and b) when I'm back on my tablets.
I just feel a horrible anger inside me at people who have hurt me

MrsEvadneCake Sun 02-Apr-17 00:25:01

I barely breath when I'm anxious, really shallow and it makes it worse. I'm glad it helped smile

I think that's the best plan, everything can be left and now you just breath and have your hot chocolate <jealous for I have tea!>

Farontothemaddingcrowd Sun 02-Apr-17 00:36:22

Hot chocolate is lovely. I can't sleep though. I feel a bit like everyone is out to hurt me. There's a woman who took my old job and my friend says she constantly bitches aboutique things I've not done, or things I have done wrongly. I am turning over all kinds of silly pointless things over in my head.

Farontothemaddingcrowd Sun 02-Apr-17 00:37:54

Sorry. That was incomprehensible!
The woman who replaced me at work only got the job because I got a better one somewhere else. I wish my friend would stop telling me about her moaning.
I feel raw. Like all my nerves are exposed.

MrsEvadneCake Sun 02-Apr-17 00:39:05

I understand. <holds hand>
When can you get your prescription?

Farontothemaddingcrowd Sun 02-Apr-17 00:41:45

I can ring the chemist Monday, but it takes three days.

Inthebathtub Sun 02-Apr-17 00:53:46

I've found that when I'm anxious and scared and upset and sleep is miles away, that trying to sleep and then stressing about that is counter productive, I have learned to take the pressure off myself and my reasoning is that if I lie here with the light off trying to sleep, stressing that I can't, I'm going to be tired tomorrow, if I turn the TV on, have a read around on here, and other sites I'm interested in and accept being awake I'm still going to be tired tomorrow but tonight is going to be easier.
And often I fall asleep far sooner!
Also writing a letter, never to send, to the people that have hurt you, that you are angry at and pour it all out, even if you feel you're being unreasonable it doesn't matter it's your letter and you can say what you like! Its helped me in the past. I've even written one to myself!
I hope you feel better soon and enjoy your hot chocolate! flowers

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