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To think that an 18 month old should sleep on her own???

(120 Posts)
M2R2 Sat 01-Apr-17 23:31:53

DH think she is still too small and he prefer to sleep next to her every night than to see her crying.
She is sharing a bed with us. Even if i put her to sleep in her bed she would wake up middle of the night and come to us.
I am tiered and fed up

coconutpie Sat 01-Apr-17 23:33:44

She's only 18 months - do you not like co-sleeping? If not, could you move her cot into your room and put it beside your bed?

chastenedButStillSmiling Sat 01-Apr-17 23:33:57

Up to you. My hippy cousin had her kid sleeping in her bed until the kid chose to leave (at about 7). God knows when or how they ever had sex!

Crunchymum Sat 01-Apr-17 23:34:37

Tell my 2.3yo this please!!!

5moreminutes Sat 01-Apr-17 23:37:38

A bedside cot might be a compromise. There is no right answer unless it's only you she wakes but your soundly sleeping partner who is insisting... One of mi e usefto sleep on my head if in our bed - he would not go to sleep just next to me - so cosleeping isn't the magical key to enough sleep for all with some children.

MiddleClassProblem Sat 01-Apr-17 23:37:53

To me the problem isn't about where she sleeps but the different parenting styles clashing. I think you both need to sit down and talk about why you feel your way is good and speak calmly and rationally. Remember no one is wrong but it's not working for you a you are tired. Maybe you need an extra bed or bigger bed if there's room or think how you would feel sleeping else where if there or see if there is a compromise he can make or he sleeps in her room with her? No idea but probably other options.

5moreminutes Sat 01-Apr-17 23:39:12

*one of mine used to sleep on my head (not sure what language my autocorrect switched to mid post, maybe klingon)

angelikacpickles Sat 01-Apr-17 23:39:24

God knows when or how they ever had sex!

Presumably they have other rooms in their house!

blueistheonlycolourwefeel Sat 01-Apr-17 23:40:56

If your oh wants her in the bed, then I presume he does all the wake ups??

BanginChoons Sat 01-Apr-17 23:42:14

She's a baby. Babies crave the security of their parents.

What specifically is stopping you from getting enough sleep?

M2R2 Sat 01-Apr-17 23:42:15

I don't sleep properly with a baby in my bed.
I need my space its the only time i rest 😢.
She is sharing a bed with her sister. She never liked her cot so after 2 months of not using it i got rid of it.
I though her sharing with her sister 9y will help her as she won't be alone in bed.
But DH is so attached to her and doesn't like her to cry. He is spoiling her, never say no and she knows how to push his buttons.
It felt like the perfect time now over the holiday to train her to sleep but its a fail from day 1.
I knew it will be hard for a week or two but was hoping after that i can rest a bit.

smellyboot Sat 01-Apr-17 23:44:35

Is DD keeping you awake? I've had 7 years of kids coming into our bed on and off. Co sleepers from birth say they stop naturally. I tell mine that if they insist on coming in at 3am its silence & back to sleep and nothing more. Friends all seem to experience the same. Young children dont like being alone. Maybe make sure she is warm and fed as much as you can so she's not kept awake etc

M2R2 Sat 01-Apr-17 23:47:03

I have been sleeping in the other room trying to catch on sleep for about a week. But i am feeling that i have been evicted from my own bed. Just want my bed back.

5moreminutes Sat 01-Apr-17 23:50:06

Doesn't she keep her sister awake?

If your husband doesn't want to do sleep "training" involving leaving her to cry that doesn't necessarily mean that she has to be in your bed if you can't sleep when she is, it's not all or nothing. You need to talk and find a compromise.

What did you do when dd1 was 18 months?

ScarletSienna Sat 01-Apr-17 23:51:48

If she wakes you, does she not wake her sister too? I agree with Middle; it sounds like your parenting styles clash so maybe a good chat about how you feel and trying to understand each other may help. I don't think 18 month olds are manipulative in the sense of 'pushing buttons', its how they communicate and she clearly needs you at the moment. However, feeling exhausted isn't great for you.

Do you both work? Could you share the wake ups? Could you get a small bed so she is in your room near you but in her own space?

ScarletSienna Sat 01-Apr-17 23:53:46

If you're getting sleep in the other room then I feel a compromise and solution has been made! You're the adult and you are getting sleep just not in the bed you want to. So you understand the how she feels surely?

M2R2 Sat 01-Apr-17 23:55:26

I must add that i am expecting and due in 3 months.
Dd1 was about 6 months when i trained her to sleep in her cot. I would be in the room but she will sleep in her own in about 10 minutes. When she was 1 she had her own room stayed in her cot and was sleeping all night with no problem.
when i trained her he was working nights i think. She was fine after 3 days as long as i am in the room so didn't really have a problem.
DD2 wants me or DH next to her she kick a lot most of the days we fall asleep before her. Now because i am sleeping in dd1 room she make it a little play before bed going from one room to another. Even if it's really dark she doesn't mind.

LagunaBubbles Sat 01-Apr-17 23:55:44

I don't think yabu. I could never sleep right with any of my kids in the bed, and thankfully all (eventially) slept in their own room.

ScarletSienna Sat 01-Apr-17 23:57:10

Laguna-she said she has a bed to herself but not the bed she wants...

MrsJayy Sun 02-Apr-17 00:01:41

Look i know it isnt ideal but i would leave it for now if she is unsettled in the night it is better than getting up to her ? Do you want her in her own bed by the time the new baby comes i would leave her to her dad to sort and sleep in the other bed for now

MrsJayy Sun 02-Apr-17 00:03:19

I slept in dds room at that age most nights she was a pain to settle she is in her 20s now and im not sleeping in her bed anymore,

Kennington Sun 02-Apr-17 00:09:45

My 4.5 year old gets out of bed at 5am every morning and get in with us. I love it. It isn't forever

SuperBeagle Sun 02-Apr-17 00:09:59

My opinion is that if one of the parents isn't happy with the sleeping arrangements, then it needs to change. If everyone is happy, it's fine. If they're not, it's got to change.

I haven't co-slept with any of mine though. They were all in their own rooms from day one, and have all been decent sleepers I think because of that. I also got a lot more sleep than most of my friends who were co-sleeping.

She's 18 months. Capable of sleeping through the night well and truly.

Witchend Sun 02-Apr-17 00:10:51

Dd1 slept beautifully in her cot, and really didn't like to be brought into bed with us even if ill. She settled better for me at night.

Dd2 didn't mind, although she liked to sleep perpendicular to us so it only happened rarely. She settled better with dh at night.

Ds would wake every night from about 6 months (when he learnt to climb out of his cot-wearing sleeping bag too) and would climb straight into our bed, where he'd then sleep fine all night. I think he was about 4 or 5 yo before he slept as well in his own bed. He settled with either me or dh the same.

So don't blame your dp.

ScarletSienna Sun 02-Apr-17 00:11:16

Super-your last sentence is not a fact. Some adults cannot sleep through the night!

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