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WIBU with this crying young woman?

(94 Posts)
JustWhat Sat 01-Apr-17 21:05:29

I'm genuinely not sure if I did the right thing here or not. It took me ages to pluck up the courage at the time and now I'm still not sure if it was right or a bit intrusive?

In a coffee shop in a big city today, a young woman was sitting at the next table. She had finished her drink and was in the phone. My DP signalled to me that she was crying. She was on the phone for 10 mins or so and was upset the whole time. Please don't think I was listening in or being nosey, we couldn't hear anything she said as she was too far away, we just saw she was upset. I did hear she didn't have a local accent so wondered if she might be a student in the city. She kept reaching into her back to look for a tissue but didn't have one and was wiping her eyes and nose with her hand. I felt really sorry for her.

She then put the phone down and seemed to be ok and we were about to leave. She then called someone else and got upset again so I nipped to the loo, grabbed some tissue and handed it to her before getting up to leave. I just handed it to her, smiled and mouthed 'hope you're ok'. She smiled back, clearly surprised, but was this intrusive? Will she think we were nosy? I just wanted her to know someone was bothered about her sitting there on her own upset but can't decide if this missed the mark? Was I right or wrong? confused

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Sat 01-Apr-17 21:06:20

How could that be wrong?

Happyandhungry Sat 01-Apr-17 21:08:45

100% right i expect you made her day.

esiotrot2015 Sat 01-Apr-17 21:08:49

Sounds lovely of you

Imbroglio Sat 01-Apr-17 21:08:54

If I had been upset like that I would have appreciated the gesture.

hollyisalovelyname Sat 01-Apr-17 21:09:08


esiotrot2015 Sat 01-Apr-17 21:09:23

People overthink on here too much grin

BumbumMcTumtum Sat 01-Apr-17 21:10:06

I think it's quite thoughtful

JustWhat Sat 01-Apr-17 21:10:32

I missed the main part! My DP says maybe it would seem intrusive and like we were eavesdropping. He told me just to leave it when we were there so it took me ages to actually get round to it.

Haha I openly admit to being an overthinker!

fluffandsnuff Sat 01-Apr-17 21:13:06

Received some devastating news on a commuter train once. The lovely woman opposite gave me tissues- your post just reminded me how much that small gesture meant at the time

Astro55 Sat 01-Apr-17 21:13:13

It was a lovely gesture - probably the nicest thing someone has done for her that day

lemony7 Sat 01-Apr-17 21:13:53

I was bawling my eyes out on Monday for a good hour outside the cinema. Several people walked past and glared but none of them stopped.

If you had stopped to give me a tissue it would have made my day.

Bantanddec Sat 01-Apr-17 21:14:38

You sound lovely OP!

ShatnersBassoon Sat 01-Apr-17 21:15:45

Whatever your partner says, it's done now so why whittle about it hours after the event? Even if she did think you were nosing, she's unlikely to have given you a second thought.

MumW Sat 01-Apr-17 21:18:32

Someone did something similar for my DD (uni student) on work placement - absolutely the right thing to do.

harderandharder2breathe Sat 01-Apr-17 21:19:21

Yanbu, it was a kind gesture

60sname Sat 01-Apr-17 21:19:27

Hand on heart, yes, I would have found it intrusive. But I would have recognised it came from a good place.

LockedOutOfMN Sat 01-Apr-17 21:22:26

You did the right thing, OP, and I would've done the same.

My brother called me to tell me he and his wife had got engaged. I was at a metro station on the escalators at the time. After getting off the phone I burst into tears. Everyone on the train platform backed away and gave me dirty looks. It was a strange experience.

user1489226029 Sat 01-Apr-17 21:24:11

Lovely gesture. Too many people turn away. You did something.

StealthPolarBear Sat 01-Apr-17 21:27:43

Today 21:13fluffandsnuff

Received some devastating news on a commuter train once. The lovely woman opposite gave me tissue
Was she crying too?

fluffandsnuff Sat 01-Apr-17 21:30:26

@stealthpolarbear No, she was just organised and had tissues in her handbag!

Crinkle77 Sat 01-Apr-17 21:30:27

No I think she would have been touched by your kindness. You did a good deed for a stranger and think you did a lovely thing.

Gazelda Sat 01-Apr-17 21:33:20

I was out shopping one day, when a I got a call to say someone very very dear to me had died. I was talking on the phone and snivelling uncontrollably. A lady came up to me, gently touched my arm and smiled. She mouthed 'are you ok' and I nodded. She smiled again and walked away. That was about 10 years ago, and I still remember her kindness.
You did a nice thing today.

StealthPolarBear Sat 01-Apr-17 21:38:18

Ah ok you just described something that happened to me from the other perspective, I was on a train, crying, I looked up and another woman was crying as well. I was crying as someone had died and I had a weird thought she was crying for that reason too. She had no tissues and as I got off I gave her a pack.

OboePlayingImmortalRabbit Sat 01-Apr-17 21:42:17

What you did was lovely, Just flowers

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