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To not let DS go even for free?

(201 Posts)
UnicornButtplug Sat 01-Apr-17 11:58:14

Ds gets pocket money each week. Usually spends it on phone credit and wrestlers.

This week his friends mum asked did he want to go to an activity with her son. I asked DS did he want to go (with his pocket money) and he said no, he had seen something wrestling related he wants to by.
I told other mum that sorry he has spent his pocket money this week. Maybe another time.
She came back and said could he even afford half and she would pay half. I explained that he had been given the choice and he has to learn he can't have everything .
She then came back and said she would pay for him to go. I again said thanks very much for the offer but he can't go those week.

She is insisting she doesn't mind but the thing is DS already gets more thwn the other two kids, they are younger and think a kinder egg is a great treat so at the moment it's not really an issue but it just seems so unfair.

So AIBU to stick with my guns and say no. She wants him to go to keep her ds company.

user1471517900 Sat 01-Apr-17 12:00:52

Seriously? Of course let him go out with his friend.

Floggingmolly Sat 01-Apr-17 12:01:12

What exactly is the issue? The fact that the other kids won't also get an outing? Surely the fact that he currently "gets more" than his siblings should be addressed anyway? But not like this confused

VladmirsPoutine Sat 01-Apr-17 12:02:57

What on earth is the issue here? Why can't he accompany his friend? confused

Zhan Sat 01-Apr-17 12:03:04

YABU. Let him go with his friend and enjoy himself, not everything in life needs to be a "lesson".

mumeeee Sat 01-Apr-17 12:03:05

Let him go. Your other 2 children will probably do more when they get older

OttoChocoLab Sat 01-Apr-17 12:04:56

Eh? Does your Ds only get to do things if he pays for them out of his pocket money?

I would have said yes and paid for it too.

So what if he gets more than the other two. You said they're younger. Presumably they'll get more as they get older?

SenoritaViva Sat 01-Apr-17 12:05:33

Not understanding. How old is your ds? Why are you with holding? Older kids naturally get more than younger ones (more opportunity) but the younger ones time will come.

OffRoader Sat 01-Apr-17 12:06:00

Not letting him go almost seems a bit spiteful.

I really don't understand why he can't go out with his friend, surely it's normal for younger siblings to do/ have less? It all evens out in the end.

theapplesarecoming Sat 01-Apr-17 12:06:35


Let him go with his friend. Treating children fairly doesn't mean you have to give them exactly the same all the time.

PennyPickle Sat 01-Apr-17 12:06:40

How old is your dd?

PennyPickle Sat 01-Apr-17 12:07:11

Ds even

everymummy Sat 01-Apr-17 12:07:36

I don't agree that going out with a friend should be a pocket money thing. I don't think it's relevant that the younger two get less - smaller children need different things.

My teenager gets a lot more spent on him than my 7 year old because he needs a laptop, books etc. that cost more than Lego and Pokemon cards.

Anything that gets kids out of the house, enjoying themselves and building friendships is a good thing.

When our teen was in the most difficult phase, whatever sanctions were imposed by us or by the school, however in the dog house he was, we would always support and finance him getting out of the house. It's healthy.

Sirzy Sat 01-Apr-17 12:07:44

How old is he?

Let him go out with his friend.

Crispbutty Sat 01-Apr-17 12:08:25

Wow .. unless there's a really good dripfeed you sound mean. Poor kid.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Sat 01-Apr-17 12:08:37


alltouchedout Sat 01-Apr-17 12:08:41

Let him go. You're being a hard arse for no good reason.

AmysTiara Sat 01-Apr-17 12:09:00

It seems really mean not to let him go to something he's been invited to.

I can't understand your thinking here.

Fennecfoxmummy Sat 01-Apr-17 12:09:04

Yabu. I'd have paid for him to go with his friend or at the very least let him go whrn the other mum has offered to pay if you can't afford to. I can't understand why you wouldn't confused

UnicornButtplug Sat 01-Apr-17 12:09:15

The issue is that he was given the choice did he want to go or spend the money buying the thing and he choose to buy the thing. By then saying oh off you go anyway it's teaching him that he can just have both anyway.

No he doesn't only get to do things if he spends his pocket money, we have days out as a family and we do things one on one. If he has something planned he gets extra to do things with his pals but when its last min thing that I haven't budgeted for there is only so much money to go around and he was given the choice. He chose not to go so other mum should accept that.

Hiphopopotamus Sat 01-Apr-17 12:09:37

Seriously? This is so mean

Crispbutty Sat 01-Apr-17 12:10:11

Nah, you still sound mean. hmm

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sat 01-Apr-17 12:10:28

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks the OP is being a bit ridiculous. I would have said thank you very much for the offer and sent him. I would have paid for it too (depending on age).

Tangilo Sat 01-Apr-17 12:10:33

How old is ds?

sirfredfredgeorge Sat 01-Apr-17 12:10:34

YABVU - he's had the opportunity to do something for free because his friend really wants him there and is willing to help him out.

The lesson to learn from this, if you really want to make a lesson of it, is that friends help each other out and do nice things, and he should reciprocate or (or pay it forward) the nice thing to his friend another time when he's got the money again.

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