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To expect OH to come out with us?

(7 Posts)
Esmereldafish Fri 31-Mar-17 23:41:40

I've been with OH since I was 15, never really known any different. We have two DC , 2 & 4. He has been out as a family around 7 times since DC1 was born. He has never taken her to the park. Never taken her swimming. Nothing. She is 4 now and recently told me she didn't like being left with daddy as he would watch tv and not play with her. He will come out with us if I arrange something, but refuse to have a 'picnic' (prefers to eat out - clearly doesn't eat out much with young children!!!!!), and generally sulks until we are home. I usually take them on days out with my parents, but they are 60 now and struggle to cope with the demands of very young children. I feel trapped and don't know what to do.

MarciaBlaine Fri 31-Mar-17 23:50:16

That sounds very miserable. Personally I would not put up with it.

Esmereldafish Sat 01-Apr-17 15:08:55

It is miserable but not sure what I can do really. He seems to have no desire to do anything with his children, which is such a shame.

TheNaze73 Sat 01-Apr-17 15:10:25

Hindsight is a wonderful thing but, did he actually want children? I don't think he did

happy2bhomely Sat 01-Apr-17 15:26:22

My DH was a bit like this. We have also been together since we were 15/16.

After a few years, (and a few children) I told him that he made me feel like I was living half a life and that I needed space to think about my future. We didn't do anything together very often, and when we did it felt fake and pressured and would often end in an argument.

Do you do things without the children?

In our case, we were together but we never really dated. We hung around with mutual friends and spent a lot of time together but didn't 'go out'. We just kind of drifted into family life and there was this huge gap.

We spent about 3 weeks apart and DH came back a new man. He made a real effort and we started 'dating' and spending real time together without the kids. Then the rest came easily.

We have been together 18 years this year. It can work, but only if he's willing to change. You can't fix this by yourself.

Mrsknackered Sat 01-Apr-17 15:30:50

My partners like this, he sits on his phone 24 fucking 7 and ignores the children and when they talk to him either says 'hmmm' or just completely ignores them.
I'm leaving/left him. I suggest you do the same, our children deserve their fathers to take an interest in them flowers

ImperialBlether Sat 01-Apr-17 15:31:51

It's pure laziness and self-indulgence and selfishness on their part, isn't it?

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