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Child maintenance when you are a couple but living separately

(10 Posts)
pyjamapyjama Fri 31-Mar-17 21:38:30

Wasn't sure where the best place to post this was, originally posted in 30 days only but didnt get any replies. My baby is 9 weeks old, his dad and I have had a bit of a complicated relationship. We broke up when I was 7 months pregnant but when DS was 2 weeks old we decided to give it another try. I still live at my mums, boyfriend has his own house but I'm not moving in anytime soon.

At the moment we have an arrangement which was arranged when we were separated and I was an emotional week post-baby mess that he pays half of costs for formula/nappies/clothes etc per month. However, with the extra costs of the baby, and paying my parents rent, I'm struggling a bit. I'm wondering if, because we are a couple, but not living together, he needs to pay me what the standard child maintenance is? Which I worked out about £40 per week. At the moment he pays a quarter of that.

If it helps he has him Friday/Sat every other week, one of which I'll stay over at his with DS.

PollyBanana Fri 31-Mar-17 21:40:34

You don't really sound like a couple

wowzerz Fri 31-Mar-17 21:41:33

Odd set up but yes you shouldn't be struggling maybe he doesn't know that you are. Ask for more money and explain the situation. If you are a couple and he cares about you he won't want you worrying enough that you have to write a post on mums net about it xxxxxx flowersflowersflowersflowersflowersflowersflowers

Heirhelp Fri 31-Mar-17 21:42:39

He needs to be paying for more than formula and nappies.

I am not seeing many positives. You don't have a great relationship and he is not offering to pay for his own child.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Fri 31-Mar-17 21:43:34

I agree that you don't sound like a couple. If he's able to earn and you're not because you're caring for your joint baby then it's reasonable that he covers some/all of your living costs, not just baby items. Half of the baby items seems pretty mean tbh. I'd look at the CMS calculator out of interest, but I wouldn't aim for just that.

Chippednailvarnishing Fri 31-Mar-17 21:45:18

He pays you £10 a week?

Wtf are doing considering moving in with him? He sounds like a tight prick.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 02-Apr-17 18:29:58

I didn't spot he's paying £10 a week. That's ludicrous.

KateDaniels2 Sun 02-Apr-17 18:34:26

Half of nappies/clothes/ formula has got to be more than £10 per week surely.

But yes he needs to pay towards housing the child, heating etc.

Tomorrowillbeachicken Sun 02-Apr-17 18:35:48

He sounds like a crappy dad. I'd do it through official means and step far from him.

Emboo19 Sun 02-Apr-17 18:47:10

Me and my boyfriend weren't living together when we had our daughter, actually just moved in together this weekend!!

I had child benefit and my maternity pay and he transferred me £100 a week and went halfs on things she needed. It was my boyfriends idea I actually told him I didn't need that much, I only had my car and phone to pay and then clothes etc for me and dd.

He definitely should be contributing more towards his child's upkeep. Have a word with him and tell him how you're struggling. If he's not willing to help more I'd go the maintenance route and go a head as a single parent!

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