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To not mind taking DP to work?

(36 Posts)
WasabiNell Fri 31-Mar-17 13:11:18

He's been without a car for a few weeks now and I've been taking him to work and picking him up on my way home. I honestly do not mind, he's contributing to my petrol and it's only another 10 mins either way plus it's nice to have company in the car when usually I'd be alone smile.

He's making a massive deal of it though?! Saying he feels terrible I have to drive him and keeps suggesting he'll get a bus/ pay for a taxi. He doesn't seem to believe me when I say I DONT MIND taking him!! He's just text me now saying 'shall I walk down to the main road tonight to make it easier for you, sorry for being such an inconvience I feel terrible about you picking me up!!'

So AIBU to drive him to work when it's fine by me and it's him making a huge deal out of it confused

ImperialBlether Fri 31-Mar-17 13:12:25

Is he usually a martyr?

floraeasy Fri 31-Mar-17 13:13:10

How strange!

Wouldn't he do the same for you if it were the other way around?

It's part of helping your partner out during a difficult time.

ErrolTheDragon Fri 31-Mar-17 13:15:30

Slightly makes me wonder if, were the positions reversed, he would mind doing the same for you.

I suggest you say, honestly, its no skin off my nose, but if it will make you feel better think of something nice to do for me.

gamerchick Fri 31-Mar-17 13:16:23

Tell him that you know now if the situation was reversed not to ever ask him for lifts because it'll obviously be an inconvenience for him.... with a dead pan face.

Don't keep reassuring him, that gets irritating to have to keep on doing.

WasabiNell Fri 31-Mar-17 13:17:55

Not usually a martyr no which is why it's so bizarre confused. Good point about him not giving me lifts if the roles were reversed, I hadn't thought of that! But I don't think he'd mind driving me to work if my car was out of action!

HecateAntaia Fri 31-Mar-17 13:18:00

Why don't you ask him why he keeps asking you.

And yeah, ask him if the positions were reversed, would he resent helping you and is that why he is making such a big deal out of it?

But you know, if he really doesn't want you to drive him round - stop doing it. He is being really irritating and maybe a few days on the bus might make him stfu.

WasabiNell Fri 31-Mar-17 13:20:24

I have asked him and he says he just feels bad. He doesn't mind getting the bus though so that wouldn't make him be quiet unfortunately. He passed his driving test quite late (this was before I met him) and when I asked why he said it's because he liked getting the bus. Maybe he doesn't like driving so thinks I hate it too?

WasabiNell Fri 31-Mar-17 13:21:04

I just find it odd! I'd love to be chauffeured to and from work every day!!

FinallyHere Fri 31-Mar-17 13:21:49

Maybe he would rather take the bus, and is working up to telling you.

WasabiNell Fri 31-Mar-17 13:23:20

He is welcome to Finally! I don't think it's that though, he'd have to get 2 buses and then walk if he did that. I think he's just worried about being a massive inconvenience for some reason.

SurlyValentine Fri 31-Mar-17 13:23:35

That is a bit strange. Who wouldn't love being chauffeur driven to work and back every day?!

Definitely ask him whether he'd have a problem giving you a lift to and from work if it was your car that was out of action.

WasabiNell Fri 31-Mar-17 13:27:06

I'll ask him tonight on the way home, it might come across a bit arsey in a text smile.

floraeasy Fri 31-Mar-17 13:28:46

I think he's just worried about being a massive inconvenience for some reason

Tell him he IS being a massive inconvenience. For banging on about it all the time grin

HecateAntaia Fri 31-Mar-17 13:34:05

make sure you ask him directly if it is because he wouldn't want to do it for you.

Might make him think.

But really, if he is being this big a pain in the arse about it, just let him catch the bus instead of forcing lifts on him.

whattodowiththepoo Fri 31-Mar-17 13:41:58

Is he an introvert?

WasabiNell Fri 31-Mar-17 13:46:08

I'm not forcing lifts on the poor man, I don't bundle him into the car every morning like an uncooperative toddler grin. He just mentions it a lot in person/ over texts.

joystir59 Fri 31-Mar-17 13:46:44

My OH always feels she is inconveniencing me if she asks me to do something for her or if I offer. I love doing things for her. I think in her case it comes from having been very independent and single for a long time.

WasabiNell Fri 31-Mar-17 13:46:56

We're both introverted, him slightly more so.

HecateAntaia Fri 31-Mar-17 13:48:18

maybe you should grin I like the idea of you chucking a sack over his head and shoving him into your boot.

GabsAlot Fri 31-Mar-17 13:48:58

i take my husband in oncee a month due to train times/shifts

he doesnt make a big deal of it no do i-its an early start but it helps out so i dont mind

ask him why he keeps going on abot it

LadyPW Fri 31-Mar-17 13:51:02

Maybe he just really appreciates it and doesn't want you to feel taken for granted hmm

BorpBorpBorp Fri 31-Mar-17 13:51:48

Just tell him that you really don't mind taking him, but you do mind the constant apologising and asking if it's OK.

WasabiNell Fri 31-Mar-17 13:52:36

Maybe Lady!!

Hecate I'll do the same thing on evening, run into his work screaming like an army boot camp general and bundle him into the car. Maybe then he'll get the bus grin

HecateAntaia Fri 31-Mar-17 14:02:38

or have you committed 😂

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