Apologies in advance this could get long, but I'd really appreciate some advice!
My son is in his final year of junior school and will be starting secondary school after the summer. We have managed to get him into a private school as we felt that it was the right thing to do for him.
He's never particularly fitted in at his local (small) school. He gets on with the other kids fine and he's never been bullied as such, but he's always been a bit of a square peg and very different to the other kids. He's not into sport and all the other boys play football at break times, and he really isn't interested in hanging around with the girls either. He tends to just spend his time with the adult playground assistants and is happy in their company as he is with them. (I've always asked him if he's ok and he insists he's not lonely!)
He's 11 and the school have always said that they feel he's socially advanced for his age which is another reason why he doesn't relate so well to the other kids. He's never been invited to play with the other kids or join in with activities and socialise with them, but equally he's always said he doesn't want to, he's fine just to observe. (Again much of the kids social activities revolve around football!)
Anyway. I've always felt he's a bit anxious and at this stage in life it's totally understandable than anxieties are pretty high, especially since he'll be starting a new school away from the kids he's grown up with after the summer. He's seems happy and excited about it too so it's not an over consuming negative anxiety or anything, if that makes sense.
He's also a very sensitive boy. Now, I know it's not nice to go taking through your kids phones but I've allowed him one the last few years with the understanding that I monitor it while he's still at junior school.
Last night I was checking his messages and they're the usual 11 year old nonsense. However there was one message that really made me feel bad for him and actually pretty pissed off, and I'm not sure what to do about it.
There was a girl at his school who started st the secondary he's going to last year. Seemed like a nice girl and he'll be seeing her every day on the bus. He'd been in contact with her since he found out he was going to be attending and it all seemed fine. Yesterday I see a message from him saying "'Melissa' says that everyone at New School hates me, is this true?"
To which she replied "Yeah they don't like you so far, even 'Jamie' and he likes everyone."
My heart just sank a little.
He's been given a fresh start and new opportunity and there's now this little tiny seed of self doubt that has been planted by this girl and I'm worried that it might really get to him.
I mentioned it to him this morning and told him that no one can say they don't like you if they've never met you! He's obviously mentioned it to one of his teachers as he said this is what they said too. (He saw this girl and her friends when he went for the entrance exam)
I know we never should project our own anxieties and history of negativity onto our kids, but I was horrendously bullied at school. It was absolutely awful to the point I self harmed and just spent 6 miserable years having to mix with kids who made me feel worthless and ruined my secondary education (obviously it's all ok now...but it has stayed with me in the form of being terrified of it happening to my own kids!) . I know kids will be kids but I'm slightly concerned now that if there's a kid who has got it in for him when he starts, that it could really affect how things go. (I always thought they were friends and had never known of any hostilities between them)
AIBU to feel really worried?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
To feel really sad after reading a message on my son's phone?
50 replies
Fedupfeelingthisway · 31/03/2017 12:41
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.