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I'm totally not BU but I want someone to rage with please.

(52 Posts)
ChampagneTastes Fri 31-Mar-17 09:55:01

Took DS to school this morning. As usual am wearing my running kit and haven't yet showered as I'm off for a run (obviously). A Dad dropping his son off looked me up and down and said the following:
Dad: "You know it's not April Fool's until tomorrow right?"
Me: (confused and distracted by sulky small boy): "eh?"
Dad: "Are you going to the gym or something?"
Me: (Still confused) "Yeeeees."
Dad: "I thought it must be an April Fool's joke or something! Hahaha."
Me: "Er. Right. Ok. Bye."

I didn't really understand what he was saying until I walked away (and checked that I didn't have an old pair of knickers hanging from my shorts or something) but he was basically telling me I looked shit, right? Which I know shouldn't bother me (I thought the guy was a dickhead before, this just confirms it) but I wish that I had a witty comeback for next time beyond "fuck off you massive knobber." And because of him I was really self-conscious on my run and was convinced that everyone was staring at me and judging me (it is fair to say that I am not at my most alluring when exercising but that's not really what I'm going for).

Any suggestions for witty comebacks? Needs to be clean enough for a playground setting.

PastysPrincess Fri 31-Mar-17 09:56:58

Yeah mate good one, at least I can get changed. You'll have a face like that all year round.

Shamoffour Fri 31-Mar-17 09:58:04

What a fucking nob!

Alot of mums at school drop off in the morning are in gym gear and no make up. He sounds very fucking odd and YANBU.

floraeasy Fri 31-Mar-17 09:58:28

Any suggestions for witty comebacks? Needs to be clean enough for a playground setting

I agree that fuck off you massive knobber would not quite do in the playground grin

There are many comebacks. I am not very witty, but sure you'll get great suggestions.

My response would be just to look very bored whenever he comes into view and be distant and distracted. Yaaaawn loudly and look at him with a "are you STILL here then, then?" expression.

Rainydayspending Fri 31-Mar-17 09:59:11

Walking away "That reminds me DS do you remember how to spell rubbish/ misogynist/ nonsense?"
He's an arse.

Hobbes8 Fri 31-Mar-17 10:01:35

Did you even know this man? Presumably he expects all women to be decorative at all times. Knobber.

ThePiglet59 Fri 31-Mar-17 10:02:25

It sounds like he was trying to be witty (I know!).
Just look right through him.

LouBlue1507 Fri 31-Mar-17 10:08:11

No it's not April fools day, it's not Halloween either you can take your ugly mask off now... oh wait... grin

Henrysmycat Fri 31-Mar-17 10:08:17

He's 'negging' you. Watch his next move who it would be a clear compliment for you to feel thankful.
Ignore him, anyone who starts like that is a kn0bhead in my books.

highinthesky Fri 31-Mar-17 10:09:44

Could it be that this was a pathetic attempt at being friendly? You gave the right answer and he's in no doubt that you're off to exercise.

His response was classic that of asshole-attempting-to-save-face.

KC225 Fri 31-Mar-17 10:10:36

Sounds like an idiot trying to make a bit (trigger warning alert about to use the 'B' word) banter and getting it hopelessly wrong.

FauxFox Fri 31-Mar-17 10:11:27

Him: 'you going to the gym or something?'
You: eyeing his mid section 'yes - why? are you thinking of sorting yourself out soon? I can give you a rec for a personal trainer if you like...'

highinthesky Fri 31-Mar-17 10:13:01

Henrysmycat I had to google this and now my vocabulary is two words richer for it.

Negging, and pozzing. I suppose there is an etymological basis for both smile

ChampagneTastes Fri 31-Mar-17 10:13:05

@Henrysmycat I think you may be right. I think this was a little punishment because I disagreed with him yesterday.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret Fri 31-Mar-17 10:18:43

What a twat. Just be glad you don't wake up and look at his ridiculous face every morning.

loulou0987 Fri 31-Mar-17 10:21:09

totally fancies you and was trying to be witty!! boys!!

ChampagneTastes Fri 31-Mar-17 10:25:09

LouLou that is highly unlikely. I am both fatter and older than him. And if it were the case it wouldn't make it ok.

newnoo Fri 31-Mar-17 10:25:49

Yep - he fancies you and he's trying to be clever and failing miserably.

Something about you anyway is triggering him smile

Probably seeing you in your revealing 'activewear'.

Sounds like he'd like to get 'active' with you smile

LOL!!!

loulou0987 Fri 31-Mar-17 10:41:39

Def not ok but it sounds like he was desperately trying to strike up a conversation and just got it horribly wrong!

Ginlinessisnexttogodliness Fri 31-Mar-17 10:49:19

It's such a shame you won't be at the school gates tomorrow, on actual April Fools' Day.

Then you could have done something really rather cruel and bitchy with the back up of calendar and tradition. Like perhaps turn up with a big fat twatty bastard sized gym kit, go up to him and jogging on the spot say, come on then big boy let's sweat it out together.

Then stop jogging and calmly say, only joking I'd rather pluck every single hair from my body with a pair of rusty tweezers than watch you get all hot and bothered. Happy April Fools' Day. Back off whilst looking him u and down in the cringeworthy style he adopted.

I rather enjoyed writing that.

HunterHearstHelmsley Fri 31-Mar-17 10:51:31

I don't even get why he thought it funny!

ChampagneTastes Fri 31-Mar-17 11:14:37

Hunter because he's a very very stupid man.

boolifooli Fri 31-Mar-17 11:18:20

He was probably trying to make conversation. I wouldn't read beyond it being a cack handed attempt at banter.

ChampagneTastes Fri 31-Mar-17 11:23:55

Boolifooli he was coming out as I was going in so it's not like we were standing around scrambling for a conversation topic.

CaoNiMartacus Fri 31-Mar-17 11:25:42

To be fair, I think "Fuck off, you massive knobber" might be the best response, in fact.

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