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Could you share your husband?

(152 Posts)
Writerwannabe83 Thu 30-Mar-17 21:40:30

I'm watching a documentary about Mormons and it focuses on men being able to have more than one wife. I watched an episode last week too so I imagine it's an ongoing series.

Anyway, I always thought that the family set-up was one that all parties were happy with but in both episodes I've seen the families certainly aren't harmonious with some of the wives being jealous, resentful and appearing to not like the other wives. It all just seems very awkward and unhappy at times with some wives overtly displaying their anger and frustrations to the husband and I'm genuinely shocked.

I assumed it is done for religious/cultural reasons hence why I thought the women were happy to be one of many wives because they had a belief that it's the right way to live, but it appears they aren't all comgortable with it.

I'm just so surprised that some of the wives aren't happy with their way of life because I genuinely believed that the women were just as willing participants in the bigamy as the men were.

Is anyone else watching it?

bionicant Thu 30-Mar-17 21:42:15

no did watch the other series where the bloke had about 8 wives and they all seemed pissed off

bizarre set up that only seems to keep men happy shielding under religion

Mrskeats Thu 30-Mar-17 21:43:01

Yep it doesn't seem to be very happy to me
Especially for the women

ThePiglet59 Thu 30-Mar-17 21:45:02

I've never got the sharing spouses thing.

How can you be happy with another person sharing the body of somebody you supposedly love?

TickingTimeBomb2017 Thu 30-Mar-17 21:45:32

I dodged this program, being a feminist I knew I wouldn't be able to stomach it.

Which country is it set in?

MatildaTheCat Thu 30-Mar-17 21:45:43

Do the women get to chose which husband they want to shag each night or not ?

No. Thought not. That could help us reach an answer.

Misspilly88 Thu 30-Mar-17 21:47:13

I watched too with interest as have a friend who is polygamous and appears to approach potential partners who already are married and have children and run the idea past them. I always wonder what their wives must feel when their husband proposes the relationship.

PennyPickle Thu 30-Mar-17 21:48:46

As far as I'm concerned anyone is welcome to him! Go for it! I don't need to share him - they can have him..... and his annoying habits, stinky socks, bad moods, temper tantrums..... Anyone? Please??

Misspilly88 Thu 30-Mar-17 21:49:14

But anyway my response to that programme was it's totally wrong. Man definitely in control and wanting to 'rule' over others like God. Awful

RuncibleSp00n Thu 30-Mar-17 21:49:52

I'm a feminist. Often verging on a rad feminist. But if I'm honest, I could happily share my DH if it was in the context of stable, Mormon-style polygamy. From a jealousy/sharing perspective it wouldn't bother me at all, and I'd quite enjoy having a female-dominated household with other women to support one-another.

If I agree with it from a feminist principle standpoint though is a different matter (I don't).

VladmirsPoutine Thu 30-Mar-17 21:50:06

I'm watching this too. It's fucking insane. Each to their own; live and let live and all that but fuck that.

highinthesky Thu 30-Mar-17 21:50:58

*no did watch the other series where the bloke had about 8 wives and they all seemed pissed off

bizarre set up that only seems to keep men happy shielding under religion*

Me too, wasn't he a Jewish scholar? If it's the same one I'm thinking of, it was told from the perspective of a remarkably well-adjusted daughter, who loved all her mummies.

Polyandry exists too - but AFAIK it's a construct to ensure the men in a family are waited on hand and foot and then serviced by the one slave woman.

ThePiglet59 Thu 30-Mar-17 21:52:26

"As far as I'm concerned anyone is welcome to him! Go for it! I don't need to share him - they can have him..... and his annoying habits, stinky socks, bad moods, temper tantrums..... Anyone? Please??"

I did say 'love'
You don't love this man.

RuncibleSp00n Thu 30-Mar-17 21:52:44

Basically, a commune would probably be the best option for me. Then I too could get to shag share spouses too. I don't feel any sexual jealousy about my DH, dunno why. Perhaps that's a bit of a worry actually confused

Writerwannabe83 Thu 30-Mar-17 21:55:34

The religion is founded in Salt Lake City, Utah.

I went to school with a Mormon who said her dad had other wives who lived in Utah so he spent a prolonged time away from home as he'd alternate his time between them and his English family.

She moved to Utah when she finished University and married and has 7 children so far (aged 32). I don't know if her husband has other wives though I imagine he does.

Isthisusernamefree Thu 30-Mar-17 21:57:40

Is this Three Wives, One Husband? I watched the first episode last week and felt so sorry for the heavily pregnant 3rd wife of one of the men, she was miserable and spent her days looking after all three sets of kids. And one of the wives of the man courting a new woman clearly wasn't happy with adding to the number of wives although she seemed to like the new woman as a person.

I don't judge polygamous households at all, but it must be so hard to keep everyone happy and keep resentment at bay. I know I couldn't share my OH with anyone else, even though it might make life easier sometimes if he was someone else's responsibility half the week 😂

Are there any polygamous cultures where the wife has multiple husbands?

ScarlettFreestone Thu 30-Mar-17 22:03:49

I'm not sure why you would be surprised that some women would be unhappy?

After all, there are plenty of married women in our culture who are unhappy despite believing that the principle of being married to one man "is the right way to live".

I would assume that the first wife has little say in the choice of second or subsequent wives. My understanding is that second wives are subservient to first wives.

It seems fairly obvious to me that even if you believed that it was the "right way to live" that there is plenty of opportunity for discord.

I wonder how MILs work. After all if your FIL had two wives are they both your MIL?

Just think of the threads...

These people are strictly religious but they are still human.

TheoriginalLEM Thu 30-Mar-17 22:04:34

i saw this last week and um not sure uf its poorly edited but i hated the idea. The man being "godlike" Fuck that!!

Totally irrelevant but i thought the women were some of the most beautiful women i have seen, dp agreed.

boolifooli Thu 30-Mar-17 22:07:40

Call me daft/childish but I don't want my DH shagging other people while he's with me. He's perfectly entitled to shag others but he won't be able to do it and be in a relationship with me.

annandale Thu 30-Mar-17 22:07:49

I can imagine a lot of men not enjoying it at all tbh. Normal people have no interest in being godlike, and they prob find it a bit of a slog tbh.

MaidOfStars Thu 30-Mar-17 22:08:05

I don't feel any sexual jealousy about my DH
Me either (about my husband). Would hate him to be gazing into someone else's eyes, or trying to make them laugh though.

Mermaid36 Thu 30-Mar-17 22:10:00

My DH is snoring like a hibernating bear with a chainsaw running next to me. Any takers??

randomer Thu 30-Mar-17 22:11:45

yes easily but no body would want him

doublesnap Thu 30-Mar-17 22:14:06

With pleasure, they could have him for 99% of the time as long as I had the 1% when the bins need emptying!

JaneEyre70 Thu 30-Mar-17 22:18:25

I don't find it remotely appealing - only from the angle of there being SO many kids under everyone's feet!!

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