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AIBU?

Aibu To think the university's response wasn't good enough?

62 replies

Flixybelle · 30/03/2017 21:29

My little sister is away at Uni in her first year and staying in halls. Today she went to get a shower (the bathroom is literally a foot away from her room and is a single almost aeroplane sized bathroom) and she closed but didn't lock her door. Later she walked past her room mates room and their sat on his desk was her necklace she had taken off for her shower and a bracelet that our Aunt (now dead)had given her which she had put in her jewellery box inside a box in her wardrobe.

She grabbed it back off the desk and went to tell her friends who told her to call Campus security, so she did. Security came and confronted the boy and asked if it was true he said yes, at this point another flatmate came in and said her purse was missing so they all went upstairs to the room and they found a stash of other peoples belongings packed up ready to leave for the Easter break.

The security team then told the girls (all girls just this 1 boy) that they shouldn't have left their doors open and because they had it was their own fault and the boy hadn't done anything wrong as he now had returned their stuff. My sister is obviously very very upset and feels that the security team have basically given this boy permission to steal anything if its not behind a locked door. They all share a living area and a kitchen. My sister was so upset and angry and just wants to come home but has gone to stay with her boyfriend with anything of value for a bit instead. I have said that she should make a complaint and contact the police for advice but the security told her she can't!

AIBU to think this is not ok? Yes she should lock her bedroom door but theft is theft right?

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Sciurus83 · 30/03/2017 21:34

They need to call the actual police, campus security surely can't tell them they can't do this?

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JumpingJetFlash · 30/03/2017 21:35

It's crap that campus security said he hadn't done anything wrong and they would have been within their rights to call the police I'd imagine. I'd imagine that your sister and the other girls will now be locking their doors at all points

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planetclom · 30/03/2017 21:35

Of course she can report it to the police, university property is not above the laws of the land. They sound like tits.

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ThePiglet59 · 30/03/2017 21:40

Campus 'security' are obviously staffed by idle fuckwits.
They just want an easy life.
Get in touch with the police and get this thieving bugger dealt with.

Running home will achieve nothing.
This is a good life lesson for her.

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arethereanyleftatall · 30/03/2017 21:42

Absurd that the boy didn't get in to more trouble. Are you sure there's no more to it? (I can't think what though that would render the thief blameless!)

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Flixybelle · 30/03/2017 21:44

That's what I have told her but the security staff and the accommodation warden have told her it is against policy to contact the police and that if she does they will have to enforce her contract which states apparently that she is in breach if she doesn't lock her bedroom at all times. From my perspective they are being VU but to a frightened teenager she doesn't know where to turn, she 4 hours away so I can't nip down and sort it.

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bonfireheart · 30/03/2017 21:46

Check her contract.
Call the police.
Ask to speak to a senior member of the university.
In this day of social media and paying students can the university really afford to lose fees and their reputation but supporting a thief?

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PeaFaceMcgee · 30/03/2017 21:48

She should call 101 for advice and tell them exactly what was said to her by security. Or just approach the higher ups at uni.

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BurnTheBlackSuit · 30/03/2017 21:50

A mixed hall of residence? When did this become a thing?

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SquashyMummy · 30/03/2017 21:53

I work in a university and I would advise her to contact the pastoral/ student advice team. These Departments have widely varying names in different universities but there will be a team which looks after student well being on campus. They would be the best staff to resolve the situation in a sensitive way. Most likely the security staff are an external company and aren't really the voice of the university (although they should be.)

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LellyMcKelly · 30/03/2017 21:58

This is a police matter. You should also get in touch with Student Services and the head of Estates and file a report about the incident, and the response of the security team.

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Craiconwithit · 30/03/2017 22:00

She needs to phone the police and tell them about the thefts.
Tell her to visit her Student (Union) Advice Centre in the morning. Let them advise and support her.

However, it does sound like lying lazy security staff to me.
The eviction threat is beyond pathetic. I'd like to see them try to evict her at this point in the year. All students are crap at locking doors. Visit any pizza delivery place near to student housing and they'll have all the door entry codes posted near the till.

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carefreeeee · 30/03/2017 22:00

A mixed hall of residence? When did this become a thing?

Lol at least 20 years ago!

She should go to the police surely - how can locking your door be more important than not stealing? People don't always lock their door in halls. It's their home - they should be able to trust their flatmates

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Brighteyes27 · 30/03/2017 22:02

Agree with squashy mummy maybe ask her to speak to a Student Services Manager Accomodation Manager or similar or ask her to contact an SU Advice Caseworker at her Campus for advice. She will need to make the contact as due to data protection they wouldn't discuss it with you unless she gives her consent for you to speak on her behalf which is harder to prove. Not saying it's right but maybe the boy had mental health difficulties or similar hence security not wanting them to push things with police.

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HarryPottersMagicWand · 30/03/2017 22:03

I was in a mixed halls of residence. It was no big deal, 4 of the lads were really nice. There was one weirdo though.

That's disgusting that your sister was told this! I used to leave my bedroom door unlocked if I was elsewhere in the hall, we all did. Ridiculous to expect everyone to lock it if you want to nip to the kitchen or bathroom.

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maddening · 30/03/2017 22:04

Have they paid for the next term? All the girls could give notice and rent a house - campus and their "security" team can enjoy a loss of earnings

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Flixybelle · 30/03/2017 22:09

I am blinking fuming to say the least! My sister has had a really tough time not only was it really difficult for her to actually get the grades to go to uni, since she has been there one of her very close friends (from home) committed suicide in October and then we lost a young member of our family its being so hard on her being far away and she'd done amazingly to have stuck it out so far.

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LIZS · 30/03/2017 22:14

Are there any resident student wardens in the hall, often final year or postgrads who get discounted accommodation in return for the mentor/liaison role. Yes she should lock her door but clearly they felt secure. Strange noone has alerted the others to the thefts before though.

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lackingimagination · 30/03/2017 22:15

Oh my goodness boys AND girls living TOGETHER at university?! What has the world come to?! GrinGrinGrin

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BurnTheBlackSuit · 30/03/2017 22:22

We didn't live together in halls in my day. When dinosaurs roamed the earth. Blush I assumed halls, like prisons, were segregated. Afterall the others are strangers. Clearly not!
Sorry I don't have any advice to add, but others on the thread clearly know what they're talking about!

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thatdearoctopus · 30/03/2017 22:22

That does sound a pretty lame response from the Security team, but having said that, it did say in the small of my son's insurance policy for Halls that they would only pay out for claims if their room had been locked. I was concerned because ds had a brand new Macbook, but he maintained that it was completely impractical and unreasonable to expect anyone to lock their door every time they nipped to the loo or to the kitchen for a snack.

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Flixybelle · 30/03/2017 22:25

sorry for all the typos anger and typing do not mix.

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BathshebaKnickerStickers · 30/03/2017 22:25

We had mixed halls in my (quite liberal uni) in 1990..... (misses point completely)

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Flixybelle · 30/03/2017 22:26

I understand from an insurance perspective that a door needs to be locked for them to pay out but it doesn't mean that a crime wasn't still committed?

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ThePiglet59 · 30/03/2017 22:28

"A mixed hall of residence? When did this become a thing?"

Bless

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