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Would you ever excuse a carer shouting at disabled lady?

(25 Posts)
sunlitmeadow Thu 30-Mar-17 19:39:11

Disabled lady is trying to explain something to carer but is difficult to understand due to nature of her disability and there's a few 'excuse me/sorry/say that again' then carer starts doing something and disabled lady starts saying something again. Carer says/shouts 'all RIGHT, just wait a minute name, love.'

Carer then apologises and says she didn't mean to snap.

How bad would you say this was?

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream Thu 30-Mar-17 19:42:50

Impossible to say just from that one exchange. Doesn't sound too awful to me.

PlayOnWurtz Thu 30-Mar-17 19:42:59

If you know the name of the adult please ring your local social care team. What that carer did is wholly unacceptable. If she's acting like that in public what is she doing behind closed doors.

ImperialBlether Thu 30-Mar-17 19:44:18

Completely unacceptable. She's a vulnerable woman and the woman is supposed to be caring for her.

NoraCharlesMartiniGlass Thu 30-Mar-17 20:01:26

Is the carer a paid carer or a family member?

sunlitmeadow Thu 30-Mar-17 20:02:05

Paid carer AFAIK

mumeeee Thu 30-Mar-17 20:04:23

Just shouting once and then apologising isn't that bad. Yes the carer should not have shouted but these things happen

MyLittleBoyBlue Thu 30-Mar-17 20:09:29

I've been a carer and have never ever shouted. Even when people have purposely tried to get a rise out of me, repeatedly, for a very long time...
It's not on, but as per previous posters it doesn't sound diabolical though? Maybe some more background would be helpful.
TBH, even the term "love" is a no no. In the wrong context it's viewed as patronising and abusive.

maisyanddaisy Thu 30-Mar-17 20:10:42

Disgraceful. Shouting is never, ever acceptable. This carer is in the wrong job.

RatherBeCrazy Thu 30-Mar-17 20:17:48

Agree with play much worse could be happening behind closed doors. Report it and it will be investigated. Chances are if it was truly a one off, those investigating will know the staff member enough to act accordingly. It's never ok, even with an apology. Struggling to communicate is the most frustrating and debilitating thing in the world.

carefreeeee Thu 30-Mar-17 20:24:11

Hehe good luck with trying to stop people saying 'love'! Round here even small children and foreigners who barely speak English use it when speaking to complete strangers! definitely not patronising or abusive either.

sunlitmeadow Thu 30-Mar-17 20:24:49

Yes "love" is used like that round here too.

Crumbs1 Thu 30-Mar-17 20:26:20

It's not acceptable but you only have a small part of the whole picture. Do people realise how little care staff are paid and how hard their job can be? The odd bout of exasperation is hardly surprising- disability doesn't turn you into a saint.

PlayOnWurtz Thu 30-Mar-17 20:27:25

Stop making excuses for the carer. She is a professional who knows her boundaries and shouting at a client under any circumstances with any form of aggression is NEVER acceptable

SlB09 Thu 30-Mar-17 20:28:41

She apologised straight away, realised she was snappy and realised it was wrong - doesn't sound bad to me.

Highmaintenancefemalestuff Thu 30-Mar-17 20:29:28

I'm a carer and imo there is no excuse for snapping. I would never dream of shouting at a service user. Patience is key!

sunlitmeadow Thu 30-Mar-17 20:30:10

Are carers professionals? Not being goady , genuine question.

PlayOnWurtz Thu 30-Mar-17 20:32:13

Yes. She is caring for someone in a paid capacity therefore she is a professional carer.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface Thu 30-Mar-17 20:34:41

Carer work is really, really hard.

I lasted four hours doing one on one care. It's brutal.

Now work in nursing homes where I'm far better suited. You need colleagues, you can't do it alone.

But, yes. She was bang out of order. But it's not like she could leave the room and let someone else take over while she grabbed a breath.

We're still human. We lose our shit. Luckily we mostly get to the staffroom kettle before that happens.

Dawndonnaagain Thu 30-Mar-17 20:34:42

If a carer shouted at one of my adult children, particularly in public, there would be hell to pay. I don't do it, neither should they.

elliejjtiny Thu 30-Mar-17 20:39:00

It depends on the circumstances. It's not ideal behaviour but none of us are perfect and we don't know what their situation is. If the carer has lots of support and caring 40 or so hours a week then it's a lot easier to be kind all the time. If the carer has been caring for years with few or no breaks then I imagine it would be a lot harder not to lose it and get angry sometimes.

PlayOnWurtz Thu 30-Mar-17 20:40:45

If they're a paid carer then it's their job to not be snappy with their clients.

RatherBeCrazy Thu 30-Mar-17 20:42:34

Safeguarding training dictates that if you have any concerns you must report them. It's not up to you to be sure, that's down to the investigators. Chances are the person made a mistake/is human/had a bad day. But these are vulnerable people.

irnbruaintjustforscots Thu 30-Mar-17 20:43:21

I think the fact she promptly apologised suggests to me that it's not indicative of a major attitudinal problem or usual behaviour.

Very occasionally I think something can come out sounding completely different to how you intended it. I can imagine a cheerful 'just hang on a minute!' might accidentally come out as a snap and then you realise and quickly say 'I'm so sorry!'

So it doesn't sound bad to me. But I do generally think carers are treated like rubbish sad

ChangeAComin Thu 30-Mar-17 20:43:54

How could you tell this was a paid carer? Were they in a uniform?

Could just as easily be a family member/family carer. And someone out with a disabled person isn't necessarily their carer!

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