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to be annoyed at DM

(8 Posts)
Smurfss Thu 30-Mar-17 13:31:00

(first time poster, please bear with me)

Me and DP both work FT, only quality family time we get is weekends.

It's my DS birthday on Sunday, and my DM has invited herself over for the day, which was fine, told DP and we arranged for MIL to visit on the Saturday. (I am a very anxious person and don't like large groups of people. )

Now DM has Invited, Dsis and DN's x2 and GP's and my other Dsis, without consulting me first, DM now expects me to feed all these people without contributing even though I didn't invite them in the first place.

DM's excuse for inviting the Dsis and DN's is that it's DN birthday further in the month and she won't see her before then.. AIBU to be annoyed with this especially given Dsis is the favorite and DM will be there every Wed & Thu for the next 12 week (Dsis doing course no childcare)

Just so utterly annoyed at the entire situation.

user1483387154 Thu 30-Mar-17 13:34:19

If this had happened to me when my anxiety was high then I would have to tell her that they can not come. It would have been far too many people and cause a very uncomfortable situation.
If it is not something you can cope with then you or your Husband need to tell her this now.

RebootYourEngine Thu 30-Mar-17 13:36:30

I would contact them all and tell that you are unable to accommodate them all.

Doyouwantabrew Thu 30-Mar-17 13:38:19

What is this with people inviting other people to other peoples dos.

Tell your dm she can ring them up and I invite them. It's so cheeky.

MyMrKnightley Thu 30-Mar-17 13:39:41

I'd go out and inform dm that you are not going to be home anymore on Sunday dont tell her where you're going

ThePiglet59 Thu 30-Mar-17 13:40:28

I would cancel the lot personally.
If you don't feel that you can do that just suck it up.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Thu 30-Mar-17 13:41:53

If you don't feel able to cancel all the invitations your DM has issued, perhaps you could tell her that SHE is responsible for feeding the guests SHE has invited, @Smurfss.

lazytuesday Thu 30-Mar-17 13:45:52

No one has the right to invite anyone else into your home on your behalf. This would make me livid! Id just contact the DN etc yourself and politely explain that there had been a misunderstanding and that you are sadly unable to host them on that day. It might feel like you are in the wrong and your mum may try and make you feel like that but its her who is in the wrong completely. Shes banking on you being too shy to do anything about it. I would really sort it though just to make the point that she cannot trample all over your boundaries.

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