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to think exP might be autistic?

(5 Posts)
RolyPolyOly Thu 30-Mar-17 11:17:50

My DN is autistic, and I spent the day with her yesterday and for the first time in years I noticed that some of the autistic traits she shows my exP does too..

We were together 10 years and have two DC, we were very on/off before the DC as he seemed to lose interest quickly and would be great for a while, then hed get bored, start snapping at me and ignoring me etc. He has never been affectionate and almost winces if you try to hug him, the times we had sex it was rarely loving, over quickly and there was no intimacy before or after. He never wanted to cuddle on the sofa and if I tried he would make excuses. Ive watched him with his parents and he wi avoid contact saying goodbye/hello and is very awkward if they try to kiss his cheek.

Hes also very obsessive, say for example if he watched a programme on a certain fish, he could spend hours researching it and then tell you all about it. He also seems to find friendships difficult and although he has a few 'mates' none of them have ever been involved in our family and mainly work based/drinks etc. we never had any couple friends from his side so mainly socialised with my friends in which time he would make excuses or avoid eye contact and sit awkardly.

We are most definatley over but I think it might help us co-parent and remain civil if I can understand why he is like that as opposed to him just being difficult.

JonesyAndTheSalad Thu 30-Mar-17 13:21:45

Well...some of the things you mention are signs of someone on the Spectrum but then they're also just personality traits. I have a fair few of what you mention.

The not wanting to cuddle thing is not an indicator really. Nor is the being snappy. Then loads of people are shit at sex and find friendships hard.

Not all people with Autism Spectrum Disorders have these or in fact any of the characteristics you mention.

JonesyAndTheSalad Thu 30-Mar-17 13:22:19

Also, labelling him in your head won't help communication.

Hillarious Thu 30-Mar-17 14:13:52

Well, if you think this explains his behaviour, will that make you more understanding? Do you really need to take it any further?

RolyPolyOly Thu 30-Mar-17 14:24:51

I feel like if I knew it was beyond his control and not his fault it would help me to understand.
If he is just an arse and likes to be difficult that seems different than him being unable to communicate/act normally if that makes sense.

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