I live in a social housing property, 4 flats in a building. When I first moved in all the tenants were working professionals, some with young children. All of our kids are now adults and have moved on, 2 of the original tenants are in homes and another is often away looking after a sick relative.
My “issue” is with a tenant who has been a neighbour for about a year. She’s a young woman (about 26) who has a little boy. When she first moved in we had a cordial relationship, but this became strained after I was awakened on several occasions in the early hours by her playing her music loud. Before moving in she lived in a property where apparently playing loud music at all hours was the norm. Our bedrooms share a dividing wall and the walls in general are paper thin. I’ve pointed this out to her several times; I even brought her into my flat so she could hear the noise she keeps. Things came to a head when I told her that the next time she got me out of my bed at 2am on a “school night”, I would call the police and lodge a formal complaint with the social housing landlord.
For a while things were OK, but for the past 8+ months her child has become the “noise nuisance”. I don’t know if the child has a “problem” but once he is awake, he spends the majority of his time screaming and crying. He shares his mother’s bedroom and I’m often awoken by his screaming and crying, and by his mother’s response, which is normally to scream back at him. “Shut up” and “you get on my f*cking nerves” are her stock replies. When that fails, she turns her music on loud so she doesn’t have to hear him (you still can, tho). I’ve never heard seen or heard her paying with him or doing any of the usual mummy stuff. The boy is small for his age: he’s 3½ but looks more like a 2 year old. He has no “routine”: he goes to sleep when she does (anytime after midnight), she brings him home at all hours and he doesn’t go to nursery or school.
My daughter is grown but I’m only too aware of how trying motherhood can be, so I’ve tried to be accommodating and not uber-sensitive. It’s embarrassing when I have friends and family over and, because of the property layout, we’re subjected to the child's screams and cries. I’ve tried to be diplomatic when talking to her about his behaviour (and hers) but her response is to shrug and say “I only shout cos he gets on my nerves and he doesn’t listen to me.”
I recently had an incident where I was on a work-related overseas call but the person at the other end couldn't hear me clearly because they were in the communal hallway and the child was screaming his lungs out (yes, that’s how thin the walls are!) I put the call on hold, went outside and told her in no uncertain terms to make her child be quiet (yes, I know the impossibility of said comment!) She was in no doubt that I was pissed, but at point I was past caring. The irony is that once I then told him to be quiet…he was!
I am loathe to get involved with how someone raises their child, regardless of how much I disagree with their methods. But the noise is affecting my sleep and my sanity. One of my besties is a social worker and has threatened to report the situation but I suspect she will only do that as a very last resort. But as I’m typing this at half past midnight the child is awake and screaming. I’m at the stage now where if it means I get some peace and quiet, I’d let her! AIBU???
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A neighbour's child...
12 replies
user1490826440 · 30/03/2017 01:08
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