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AIBU to think that everyone is self-centered and vile, even more so the children?!

(48 Posts)
Ringosnose12 Wed 29-Mar-17 14:52:31

I had a birthday party at home for my DD recently, with a small group of girls from her class. I did the classic party games, and I've never encountered such a rude and ungrateful bunch in my life. In pass the parcel I wrapped a small gift in each layer. First child - happy. Second child - screws her nose up and throws present into the middle, folds arms. Third child - full scale tantrum because she wants what someone else got, and so on. 2 happy kids out of 10.

I went to a lot of trouble, the gifts weren't any old crap. But even if they were, as a child there is no way I'd have behaved like that receiving any gift! Even if I thought it was rubbish I'd have smiled politely and accepted it.

This went on for every game. Plus trying to get them organized was a nightmare. They were rude, shouting, didn't listen at all. Some of it due to party excitement which is fine but generally they were pretty obnoxious. They trashed my daughters room, I caught one child trying to steal something of my daughters, they wouldn't leave the dog alone when I kept telling them to stop. If a parent told me to stop doing something when I was young I'd have ruddy well stopped. And overall the party went really well and they enjoyed themselves!

I've found the same on play dates, it's get me this, get me that, no please or thank yous. Making me run around like a maidservant instead of the relaxing distraction of my child that I generally envisage.

And people! I keep hearing of all these kind people, who actually care about others. Who are understanding that someone may be broke, depressed, ill, etc. why have I never met such an individual? Everyone I meet is so self- absorbed and full of their own importance, no wonder the kids behave the way they do. And breathe.

DanielCraigsUnderpants Wed 29-Mar-17 15:05:37

I'm a bit scared to say YABU in case that makes me on of the baddies

But of course there are decent people out there who care about others. I'm sorry you've not come across them much in your daily life. We all have a predisposition to look after our own interests I guess but on the whole most people I know and have as friends will help out in some way. And their kids are on the whole pretty polite in the same way their parents are.

witsender Wed 29-Mar-17 15:08:36

How old are these children?

IHeartDodo Wed 29-Mar-17 15:14:40

I am constantly amazed at how rude people can be but then the next day you will hear an example of someone going out of their way to do something nice!
Try to remember that small children that are very excited and have probably had way too much sugar are a very narrow sample and probably not indicative of the general population smile

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Wed 29-Mar-17 15:16:07

Next time make it fancy dress - you go as a policeman complete with taser. ...

HubbleBubbles Wed 29-Mar-17 15:22:12

Hmmm I kind of agree - especially about the rude children. <I'm also hosting a little girl's birthday party in a few weeks and you have made me want to start drinking now !!>

Birdsgottaf1y Wed 29-Mar-17 15:39:39

How old, though?

7-9 year olds can be mini-dictators, with psychotic tendencies.

Morphene Wed 29-Mar-17 15:42:40

age of children matters a lot here....

The last party DD (5 yo) was at did pass the parcel and she was very disappointed to just miss out on getting a layer when the person next to her did (I'm talking lower lip tantrum or anything) and the girl who got it took one look at her welling up and gave her exactly half the sweets she got in her layer. DD was properly grateful and appreciative. I was gobsmacked tbh, having expected more the OP scenario.

Sometimes 5 yo are astonishingly kind and fair minded. Other times they are pure selfishness.

nancy75 Wed 29-Mar-17 15:44:20

God some kids are hideous! When dd was 9 we had a massive bouncy castle/BBQ/ disco party in the garden. 2 of the little madams wanted me to stop the music & get all the other children to sit in a line so that they could do dances for them. When I said no one of them turned the music off herself!

Batteriesallgone Wed 29-Mar-17 15:49:06

You know the saying - you meet one twat - they are a twat. Everyone you meet is a twat - you are the twat.

Ringosnose12 Wed 29-Mar-17 15:49:59

They were 7/8 year olds. There were a couple of exceptions, some real sweeties. I was fully prepared for a few brats, just not the majority! I had all the wine that night.

I just keep finding more and more that people aren't willing to help out unless there is something in it for them. Or people are judgmental over anything - MN is probably the best example of this actually ha ha. Where you're from, what you wear, what car you drive; this stuff just seems to matter to so many people, it's a minefield trying to find genuine people.

Ringosnose12 Wed 29-Mar-17 15:51:57

shock you're probably right

LadyPW Wed 29-Mar-17 15:52:44

YABU to say everyone is self-centred and vile. If you changed it to "a high proportion of people are" then YANBU!

CheWasABitOfAHomophobe Wed 29-Mar-17 15:58:57

Some people are wankers. Most aren't. Sadly (sometimes), children learn from their parents.

As I (re)read on a thread recently about the terrorism on Westminster Bridge, "always look for the helpers. There are always people helping".

DH is a keen road cyclist and forum user. There's no/less anonymity and no name changing. Some of them know each other in real life but all post 'identifying' details. Last year, a lady posted on there that her husband, a father of 2 and regular on the forum, had died after a very short battle against cancer aged 42. Someone set up a donations site and there were 3 anonymous donations totalling £7,000. Within a week there was £9,000. Mostly anonymous tenners and twenties.

My SiL hit a huge pothole a few years ago, her front wheel strut collapsed and she drove into a tree at ~40mp/h. The first person to drive past stopped. He was a skinhead, knuckle tattoos, Union flag tattoo and a self confessed racist! He helped called the fire brigade and held her hand until she was cut out. They stayed in touch for a little while after.

I once left a purse on the train with my month's salary in it. The following day a uni student had found my house (no mobile phones then) and was waiting to give it to me. They said they used cash in there to buy a bus ticket to my address. They wouldn't take a reward but did accept a few beers from my fridge.

In my professional life, I've met known thousands and thousands of children. Only one was truly a bad person. The same can't be said for adults but remember OP, always look for the helpers

Birdsgottaf1y Wed 29-Mar-17 15:59:04

I think you might just be unlucky in who you mix with.

There's whole sections of society who are carrying out Voluntary Work and fund raising.

CheWasABitOfAHomophobe Wed 29-Mar-17 16:00:10

Meant to say, SiL is mixed but looks pure Ethiopian.

shovetheholly Wed 29-Mar-17 16:06:42

Che - that's a really lovely post, thank you.

ClaryBeanHorshAndMe Wed 29-Mar-17 16:08:21

Self centered?

Yes, we're all the protagonists of our own stories...

Vile? Well, some people are awful, some are really decent and lovely.
Money makes many decent people pretty awful.

As for children...? well, it depends on the parents. But yes, most children, especially in a group are imo pretty thoughtless.

ClaryBeanHorshAndMe Wed 29-Mar-17 16:08:36


That's really lovely.

CheWasABitOfAHomophobe Wed 29-Mar-17 16:08:57


Ha, and to think DH called me a "cynical fucker" last week smile


Mrs9C Wed 29-Mar-17 16:10:11

YANBU. I have found the same general attitudes in life. I think we are all self centred at the core, some show it more than others. It's more glaringly obvious in children, hence why I've avoided parties so far.

justgivemethepinot Wed 29-Mar-17 16:14:01

Sometimes I feel a teeny bit guilty at doing days out instead of birthday parties, then I read these threads ........

tinypop4 Wed 29-Mar-17 16:14:41

Children are fairly ego-centric, certainly so at exciting events like parties.

I have met LOADS of nice, kind people over my 30-something years so I'm pretty sure there are a lot of nice ones. I also know a lot of very polite, well-mannered and grateful children so although I am sorry for your bad experience here, I think in general YABU.

brasty Wed 29-Mar-17 16:14:45

Hate to say it, but I think families with children seem to be the most self centered.

Lowdoorinthewal1 Wed 29-Mar-17 16:14:54

I think I'd be a bit worried about who your DD is choosing as friends?

My DS is 6(Y2) and his friends are nothing like this so it's not generic for the age group.

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