I'm pretty sure I'm not but his reaction suggests I might be.
My partner and I are both late twenties and have been together 5 years. For most of those years we have struggled with his low sex drive. We were averaging 5-6 times a year, though it's slightly gone up recently. It seems been horrible and heartbreaking, I've felt constantly rejected and sad that just about anything seems more important to him than having sex with me. We are very loving and affectionate with each other, lots of cuddling and kissing, but it rarely turns into sex and usually needs to be planned in some way when it does. I've come to realise it's not me that's the problem but it doesn't always feel that way. I love him and want to spend my life with him, but have seriously considered leaving over this. He has repeatedly refused to consider therapy, seeing a doctor to see if it's something physical etc. He's definitely not gay. We have talked and talked (and then not talked about it for a long time because 'it's too much pressure') and he always says he'll try harder but never does. He just doesn't want it very often and I don't want to force him into it.
I've been doing some googling and have come across some studies that show that diabetic men can have lower testosterone levels. He's been Type 1 diabetic since childhood. I've asked/begged that could he go to the doctor and just ask if they'll test his testosterone levels. It might not be that at all, but what if it is and it's easily fixable? Apparently I've ruined his day and put him in a bad mood. He doesn't want to go to the doctor, I'm totally unreasonable for even suggesting it. I know this might not be the answer but couldn't he just try and find out?
AIBU for suggesting he go to the doctor and possibly find a solution to the only problem in our relationship before I can't take it any more and leave? I really really don't want to break up, I just want things to be better.
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AIBU?
To suggest maybe he could just see a doctor and see if there's a simple solution to the problem that's going to break us up?
47 replies
PaperdollCartoon · 29/03/2017 11:14
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