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AIBU to want to be reimbursed for the cost of replacing a vintage bike I lent to a friend who had it stolen while in her possession?

(53 Posts)
OrdinalViolet Wed 29-Mar-17 10:05:23

I lent my friend my vintage bike. I now know that that was very foolish of me: lessoned learned, I will never do that ever again. Neither a borrower nor a lender be is good wisdom.

But anyway, she had it for months and kept telling me she'd give it back when I asked and then not returning it, but when I finally pressed her and told her I wanted it back ASAP she admitted it had been stolen. At first she didn't even apologize, but then she did and offered to replace it. She sent me a link to a used bike that kind of looked like mine, but was a newer knock off and was valued at £100 less than mine. I said I wanted the same make and model as the one that was stolen back.

I did a lot of looking and found one, for about £220. It was a few hours away on train and the train trip there and back cost me £70.

Am I being unreasonable to expect that she refund me the money for purchasing the bike and the travel costs to get it? I didn't make a big fuss about the time and effort I put into it (several days of intensive searching and then a full day of traveling), but to be honest that also annoyed me a lot. If I were in her position, I would have done the searching and traveling to replace an object that was stolen while in my possession. Is that just me being too nice? Is she right to throw a link to a less valuable bike and then leave it at that?

Is it unreasonable of me to expect that she pay for the replacement bike and the cost of travel?

tygr Wed 29-Mar-17 10:08:52


NotReallyMeToday Wed 29-Mar-17 10:11:57

If it was that valuable why wasn't it insured?

OrdinalViolet Wed 29-Mar-17 10:15:55

I have insurance, but filing a claim will cause my rate to go up and I have a fairly high deductible unfortunately. I feel like since it was in her care, she's responsible and I shouldn't experience any financial repercussions for her carelessness (she left it unattended / unused outside for a long time, which attracts thieves).

harderandharder2breathe Wed 29-Mar-17 10:18:23

Claim on your insurance and she pays the excess

You knew how careless she was being with it and still let her keep borrowing it. And you lent your expensive vintage bike in the first place.

OrdinalViolet Wed 29-Mar-17 10:20:05

I actually didn't know how careless she was being. I thought she was keeping it inside, but later learned that she had it outside and left it unattended. I only lent it to her once, and I kept asking for it back and she kept not giving it back. For months.

Spadequeen Wed 29-Mar-17 10:20:37

She should replace it. She lost it, her duty to replace, why should your insurance premiums rise because of her misjudgement.

TheProblemOfSusan Wed 29-Mar-17 10:22:10

It was in her possession and she had it stolen - yes, she should pay. And she should have done the proper legwork too. I would have been mortified if this were me - and I certainly wouldn't have dragged it out for so long either. Had she even reported it stolen?

IreneWinters Wed 29-Mar-17 10:23:00

Did she report it stolen to the police? You'd need a crime number to claim on the insurance, wouldn't you? Also, would your insurance cover the bike if it had been lent to someone else? Maybe she could claim on her household insurance, then it wouldn't affect your premium?

RhiWrites Wed 29-Mar-17 10:23:29

Yes she should replace it.

But she won't so you've spent £290 to discover she's not a friend. I think you should tell her that to her face.

RhiWrites Wed 29-Mar-17 10:24:05

Not sure I even believe it was "stolen".

Spadequeen Wed 29-Mar-17 10:24:07

We had an issue with water leaking from a neighbours flar into ours a few years ago. The housing manager laughed and said oh don't worry, you can claim on yinsurance for that. I told her no, we would not be claiming on our insurance, that the neighbour should claim on theirs as it was their leak that had damaged our property. I don't know whether they went through their insurance or decided to pay but it was all sorted at their expense not ours.

BarbarianMum Wed 29-Mar-17 10:25:58

She should claim it on her home insurance if it was stolen from her home. Otherwise you claim on your insurance (if she reported it) and she pays the excess. Only if these options fail does she owe the full amount imo.

RhubarbGin Wed 29-Mar-17 10:28:21

She's never going to give you the money and you're never going to feel the same about her again. So treat it as an opportunity to tell her exactly how you feel and then cut her out & move on. Life's too short to stew on it or piddle about doing anything else.

Inertia Wed 29-Mar-17 10:28:49

She should pay, but she won't.

honeyroar Wed 29-Mar-17 10:31:06

She should pay to replace it (she ought to have been the one going to pick it up). If you borrow something and break/lose it you replace it, that's just common manners. You don't leave it to the other person to claim on their insurance, it wasn't at their house or in their possession.

nicelymakingway Wed 29-Mar-17 10:31:58

I lent my bike to a fellow student, it was stolen whilst in her possession and all she could say about it was 'you can afford to get a new one'.

Years later I now realise she probably sold it. And I no, I couldn't afford a new one.

Is it karma that life has not been kind to her?

FlaviaAlbia Wed 29-Mar-17 10:34:26

Your insurance probably won't cover it anyway since there's no theft report.

If she was a decent friend she would have told you it was stolen straight away, reported it to the police and offered to replace it. Since she didn't do that, she's unlikely to reimburse you now so be prepared to write off the money.

namechangedtoday15 Wed 29-Mar-17 10:36:05

Did she know it was "vintage" or did she just think it was an old bike? And if she's had it for months, do you really need a bike back?

For me personally, I'd want to replace it (although it wouldn't have been stolen in the first place as I'd have been extra careful making sure it was secure if it didn't belong to me), but she obviously doesn't think like that. I think you need to both sit down, look at your respective insurance policies, whether it was reported to the police etc and have a conversation about what you should do.

peukpokicuzo Wed 29-Mar-17 10:37:00

If it was insured then obviously claim on the insurance, that is what it is for. Your friend can then pay you for the excess and increased premiums which is much cheaper than the replacement bike.

Mummyoflittledragon Wed 29-Mar-17 10:38:33

Is it even insured if left unattended outside?

You are already giving her the benefit of the doubt that it was stolen. She may well have sold it. Either way she either pays you the full amount otherwise she's not your friend.

MrsWhiteWash Wed 29-Mar-17 10:38:42

I don't think your unreasonable to want her to reimburse you - but I seriously doubt you'll get anywhere demanding she do so.

OrdinalViolet Wed 29-Mar-17 10:39:48

Did she report it stolen to the police?

No, we did discuss it and then decided it made no sense since the police basically don't even bother looking for stolen bikes in our area...

You'd need a crime number to claim on the insurance, wouldn't you?
Good point, I would and so would she.

Also, would your insurance cover the bike if it had been lent to someone else?

Also a good point that I didn't research since I really just don't want to file a claim, have my rates increase and have to deal with it basically.

Maybe she could claim on her household insurance, then it wouldn't affect your premium?

That would be fine with me if she has insurance! I will suggest that, thanks.

SapphireStrange Wed 29-Mar-17 10:41:01

I'd be mortified if I borrowed something and it got stolen, or lost even, while in my possession.

Of course she should pay to replace it. Did she realise it was vintage/valuable? Not that it matters that much; she shouldn't have left it outside.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Wed 29-Mar-17 10:45:08

If it has been stolen, then you shouldn't expect her to pay out.
As its not her doing.

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