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AIBU?

Left to become malnurished in hospital as doctor bullies vulnerable disabled adult

85 replies

Lola0401 · 28/03/2017 21:11

Am i being unreasonable to expect to not be bullied and intimidated whilst in hospital care by their staff? My body getting weaker as days go on through lack of nutition?
I am a disabled, vulnerable adult with complex needs. I have been bedbound for 12 months and have 24/7 care.
I am due to have my left leg amputated in 3 weeks time.
I have had no nutrition for 15 days now, and am on IV fluids on and off, due to worsening underlying conditions. I have battled this for over 3 years with varying ways of keeping me nourished when these episodes (lasting weeks on end) happen including feeding tubes.
I have been in hospital for 1 week now and with no evidence (as the dr stated) the drs are happy to dischatged me without any fluids or nutritients that my body desperately needs.
As a teenager i had an eating disorder. Today when i told the dr i have lost a stone in weight since last week he responded "to be honest you look like you could do with loosing a bit anyway." Upon hearing this i got very upset and requested he leaves (i just wanted to run away but being bedbound i cant). He stood at the bottom of my bed, arms folded, glaring silently at me, refusing to move for over 10 minutes despite many further requests from both me and my mum.
My mum stood up and requested he leaves, he continued to stand glaring at me. I felt very vulnerable and intimidated and was getting more and more distressed.
I have spent 12 years in and out of different hospitals. Different treatments and surgeries. We could write a book about my healtg and hospital stays but this incident really does bring it home to me how vulnerable and defenseless I am in a place where i should feel the most safe.

OP posts:
Asmoto · 28/03/2017 21:16

That sounds terrible - could you or your mum make an official complaint? I'm sure someone on here with more knowledge could advise you on the best way forward. I hope you get the help you need soon Flowers.

BluebellsareBlue · 28/03/2017 21:16

Woah! That sounds horrific OP! I'm so sorry you are going through this. Have you actually had no food for 15 days?!? I'm aghast!!

ImsorryTommy · 28/03/2017 21:19

I couldn't comment just on your post to be honest. It seems this is a complex situation with a huge back story.

PossumInAPearTree · 28/03/2017 21:23

Do you currently have a physical issue preventing you from eating? Are the doctors not worried about that? Can you ask to talk to the ward sister?

BeachyKeen · 28/03/2017 21:27

Why did they deny you food? Is it a digestion issue? Please tell me you have at least been on IV for nutrients and hydration?!
I can understand if you were having stomach issues or that, but otherwise it sounds quite cruel.
Is your mum able to bring you food?

CantChoose · 28/03/2017 21:36

I'm with Tommy. Sorry that you're clearly feeling distressed. But can't comment any more than that as there's almost certainly a lot more to this...

Happyandhungry · 28/03/2017 21:37

Hmm you Can't eat and you are malnourished etc with an extremely odd doctor, yet you can post a massive long post on here? If you've got good internet access and clearly very articulate do what someone once did from hospital and call the police/other departments that might genuinely be able to help if you really feel like you are being mistreated. I imagine your mum could do more though to help?

Barbie222 · 28/03/2017 21:55

Yes I think you may be asking the wrong people for help here, but I hope you are able to feel more positive soon.

Lola0401 · 28/03/2017 21:55

Like i say in the origional post there is 12 years of health problems and could easy write a book so of course there is more too it but obviously to write this post i just had to try and be concise and to the point of the current issues x

OP posts:
Lola0401 · 28/03/2017 21:59

Also sorry ive not made it hugely clear in the origional post but the doctors arent with holding actual food. Believe me if i felt i could eat i would be chomping on it right now lol.
But my nausea and sickness has got so bad that eating is just making it worse so ive stopped. I already take anti sickness tablets by the way.
Ive been having saline water IV on and off over the last week but no nutrients

Also the reason i am asking here is because a friend recommended i do - you never know who can help and we are just seriously stuck on were else to turn so im asking anyone - nothing to loose by asking :)

OP posts:
Lola0401 · 28/03/2017 22:02

We have already been through pals, made complaint, spoke with matron several times, spoke with bed manager.
They are just all on the same page that whatever the doctor says goes basically

OP posts:
PossumInAPearTree · 28/03/2017 22:04

Well if you're being sick sickness tablets aren't the best as you may vomit them before they work. Can you ask for the anti sickness stuff to be via injection? What meds are they giving you? Ondansetron is good but pricey so they're reluctant to prescribe it sometimes.

Asmoto · 28/03/2017 22:07

OP, have the doctors given a reason for not giving nutrients via IV? Are you due to be staying in hospital until your surgery in three weeks?

Is it worth contacting this service PALS - I think they can refer you to independent help if you need to complain.

Asmoto · 28/03/2017 22:08

Sorry, x-post, I see you have tried PALS already.

Topuptheglass · 28/03/2017 22:09

How long will you be in hospital?

Also, why were you admitted?

I've been around hospital quite a bit recently & have never seen fluids be refused.

What nutrients are you looking for?

Sorry if I'm being thick.

dottycat123 · 28/03/2017 22:11

Do you have a fatigue syndrome/M.E which affects your functioning? If so there is a very poor understanding of this in hospitals.

QuiteLikely5 · 28/03/2017 22:11

Can you have protein or vitamin shakes?

PurpleDaisies · 28/03/2017 22:12

What's the reason they're not giving you food? Most patients who can't eat will be fed through an ng tube.

I hope you get things sorted.

SlB09 · 28/03/2017 22:16

This is too complex to get any answers on here. I am sorry your feeling this way, its just very difficult to offer any real advice without knowing the whole situation which is impossible to convey on here. It sounds like you need to have some open discussions with your consultant so they can explain and answer the questions you have.

MichaelSheensNextDW · 28/03/2017 22:20

Why aren't you eating?

CaspoFungin · 28/03/2017 22:25

If you aren't eating just because you don't feel up to it they will be reluctant to ng or peg feed you because you will become reliant on that. You need to force yourself to eat, if you are actually vomiting after you eat you need to let them see that.

If you haven't had any nutrition for 15 days you will not be fit for surgery in three weeks. Have u tried build up drinks, ensure etc?

MadamePomfrey · 28/03/2017 22:29

Agree this situation sounds to complex for the advice of people not involved by going to PALs and raising a complaint it sounds like you have done everything reasonable. Have you been given any reasons behind your treatment plan? Why haven't the passed a ng tube? Have they given any explanations?

Lola0401 · 28/03/2017 22:33

Im hoping to go home before the amputation is done and concerned if im still in hospital then it wont be done. I need to be at my best by then - not malnurished and dehydrated.
Usually in this situation i have feeding through an ng tube but they are refusing too give me that.
I dont have a diagnosis of me/cfs but it is currently suspected i may have it but as you say there is little understanding of it. To be honest i dont know much about it myself.
Anti sickness meds wide i currently take levopromazine (excuse spelling) as due to other conditions i cant take the usual antisicknesses like cyclazine, ondancetron or metaclopromide.
Vitamin shakes like fortisip etc make my symptoms (nausea etc) worse so they arent an option.
Oh and i take alot of other medication including morphene.
Think ive answered most questions but do excuse me if ive missed any - brainfog! - im heading to sleep now as im exhausted and completely drained but ill check back here tomorrow :)

OP posts:
BeachyKeen · 28/03/2017 22:54

I really hope you are feeling better by the morning op! Being in hospital socks.
As to your original post, it sounds like there is a real communication breakdown happening.
I get sick to my stomach daily, so I understand how hard it is
Have you been put on Prevacid or the like to stop your stomach producing acid? It can help, along with the drugs that move the food really fast out of your stomach, before you can throw it up. I am struggling to remember the name of it at the moment, I'll get back to you

BeachyKeen · 28/03/2017 22:56

The medication is called donperidome and it iseems designed to stop you throwing up

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