Is my husband a big mardy arse or WIBU? WARNING: most pathetic AIBU thread ever

[FishChipsAndBeans]

My husband does a workout in the mornings before work. He's put on some weight recently, so he's upped this by doing another workout in the evenings as well.

We have a dog and we split the dog walks between us: he does first thing, I do lunchtime, and we usually do the evening walk together (quality time) before he does his workout.

He texted me today: "Would you mind taking the dog tonight? If yes, I will do a workout."

I was confused by this because he has been doing these workouts after we've been for the walk. I replied: "I thought you were doing the workouts every night. Does that mean you want me to do all the evening dog walks now?" (followed by nice kisses to show I'm not being arsey)

He replied: "I tell you what, I will take the dog. I will remember that." (No kisses! - thus showing me he was being arsey)

After this, he has ignored all subsequent texts from me. Was I unreasonable to ask a further question on his plans to clear up my confusion or should I have just said "Yes darling, of course I will take the dog for a walk on my own'? Or am I right in thinking he's a big mardy immature toddler with his "I will remember that" threat and subsequent silent treatment?

[TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder]

YANBU. He sounds like a child.

[SaltySalt]

crossed wires and arseyness?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I will remember that? What a nobber.

[FlyingElbows]

Sorry op but I read your text to him as massively passive aggressive.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

YABU
He asked for a one off and you replied about doing them all the time. Dp does this and it gives me the rage.

You sounded like the one who was arsey first

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

HIBU. Ok for you to seek clarification.

[BlueDaBaDee]

YANBU.

[user1476185294]

I think you could of asked in a less passive aggressive way.

Why doesn't he take the dog for a jog? Seems daft to skip exercise to do another kind of exercise. Is that just me?

[FuckyNell]

There's obviously backstory

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Don't tell the dog no one likes walking him, he'll need counselling.

[Doyouwantabrew]

Bloody he'll you both sound massively childish! What does the dog think?

[Purplepicnic]

You were moody first. He clearly only meant tonight.

[Olympiathequeen]

He's being a childish arse. And tell him you don't lose weight from bloody workouts but by eating less.

Less mardy arse and more Lardy arse!

[shovetheholly]

I don't think you sound passive-aggressive, actually. The context of this, which is provided clearly in your post, is that evening walks are a special time for you to spend together as a couple. By suggesting you walk the dog by yourself, he's essentially taking away that time. I don't think you'd have been out of line to fire off an angry message at the suggestion and I am concerned that your partner sulks like this - now that really IS passive-aggressive.

[Deathraystare]

Don't tell the dog no one likes walking him, he'll need counselling.



Haha! Poor doggy. Hey you both get exercise walking the dog!

[Cynara]

I would have taken your text as mardy and passive aggressive. He asked you to walk the dog tonight (and phrased it as a polite request). You replied with what sounds like a snide tone suggesting that he's asked you to do it every night from now on. There was no need for that.

[Doyouwantabrew]

'I just wanna walk and don't care if it's the lardy one or the mardy one'

Woof

[Soubriquet]

Yanbu

I would have asked the same tbh

He could have easily replied, "no just tonight. Need to do xyz before workout" which I bet then you wouldn't have a problem

But if he's going to do a workout every night now, I would also wonder if this meant no more dog walking

[FishChipsAndBeans]

Thanks everyone. Quite mixed answers.

It's really interesting to hear the comments about me being passive-aggressive because it's something I've actually thought about my husband. I've not really acknowledged that I can act the same I'm not a sulker though, and I wouldn't say things like 'I'll remember that', or give him the silent treatment.

The subsequent text I sent said that I didn't say no and was just trying to find out if this was a one off; then when he didn't reply, I sent another asking was he ignoring me now.

The dog is upset because she likes us all to go for a walk together

Oh and yes, I have suggested that exercise won't really help him lose weight and that diet might be the problem, but he doesn't believe me.

[Sparkletastic]

Yeah but the logical assumption from his text was that he wished to replace one activity with another for no apparent reason so can see why OP wanted to check. He sounds like a mardybum OP - YANBU.

And agree it's changing diet rather than packing in 2 workouts a day that will have the most impact on his weight.

[Wishiwasmoiradingle2017]

Sounds like the dog might be better company tonight op!!

[FishChipsAndBeans]

But if he's going to do a workout every night now, I would also wonder if this meant no more dog walking

Well yes, that's what I was trying to find out. Maybe my approach was too passive aggressive though?

[JonesyAndTheSalad]

I agree your response was a bit arsey. Most people would answer with "No problem" or "No I can't" to his question. Not try to pin him down to his constant commitment to the walks.

It's something you could discuss if he kept asking you to take his evening turn.