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Is my husband a big mardy arse or WIBU? WARNING: most pathetic AIBU thread ever

(74 Posts)
FishChipsAndBeans Tue 28-Mar-17 15:21:48

My husband does a workout in the mornings before work. He's put on some weight recently, so he's upped this by doing another workout in the evenings as well.

We have a dog and we split the dog walks between us: he does first thing, I do lunchtime, and we usually do the evening walk together (quality time) before he does his workout.

He texted me today: "Would you mind taking the dog tonight? If yes, I will do a workout."

I was confused by this because he has been doing these workouts after we've been for the walk. I replied: "I thought you were doing the workouts every night. Does that mean you want me to do all the evening dog walks now?" (followed by nice kisses to show I'm not being arsey)

He replied: "I tell you what, I will take the dog. I will remember that." (No kisses! - thus showing me he was being arsey)

After this, he has ignored all subsequent texts from me. Was I unreasonable to ask a further question on his plans to clear up my confusion or should I have just said "Yes darling, of course I will take the dog for a walk on my own'? Or am I right in thinking he's a big mardy immature toddler with his "I will remember that" threat and subsequent silent treatment?

TheresABluebirdOnMyShoulder Tue 28-Mar-17 15:24:14

YANBU. He sounds like a child.

SaltySalt Tue 28-Mar-17 15:24:35

crossed wires and arseyness?

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 28-Mar-17 15:27:12

I will remember that? What a nobber.

FlyingElbows Tue 28-Mar-17 15:28:12

Sorry op but I read your text to him as massively passive aggressive.

Oliversmumsarmy Tue 28-Mar-17 15:28:29

YABU
He asked for a one off and you replied about doing them all the time. Dp does this and it gives me the rage.

You sounded like the one who was arsey first

TestingTestingWonTooFree Tue 28-Mar-17 15:29:01

HIBU. Ok for you to seek clarification.

BlueDaBaDee Tue 28-Mar-17 15:29:30

YANBU.

user1476185294 Tue 28-Mar-17 15:32:21

I think you could of asked in a less passive aggressive way.

Why doesn't he take the dog for a jog? Seems daft to skip exercise to do another kind of exercise. Is that just me?

FuckyNell Tue 28-Mar-17 15:33:55

There's obviously backstory

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Tue 28-Mar-17 15:34:23

Don't tell the dog no one likes walking him, he'll need counselling. sad

Doyouwantabrew Tue 28-Mar-17 15:34:59

Bloody he'll you both sound massively childish! What does the dog think?

deckoff Tue 28-Mar-17 15:35:04

Yeah, your message was a bit off. You could have said "sure no problem" or been honest if it was one, then talked in person later.

What were all your extra texts about? What's the backstory?

Purplepicnic Tue 28-Mar-17 15:37:30

You were moody first. He clearly only meant tonight.

Olympiathequeen Tue 28-Mar-17 15:39:54

He's being a childish arse. And tell him you don't lose weight from bloody workouts but by eating less.

Less mardy arse and more Lardy arse!

shovetheholly Tue 28-Mar-17 15:40:17

I don't think you sound passive-aggressive, actually. The context of this, which is provided clearly in your post, is that evening walks are a special time for you to spend together as a couple. By suggesting you walk the dog by yourself, he's essentially taking away that time. I don't think you'd have been out of line to fire off an angry message at the suggestion and I am concerned that your partner sulks like this - now that really IS passive-aggressive.

Deathraystare Tue 28-Mar-17 15:44:19

Don't tell the dog no one likes walking him, he'll need counselling.

Haha! Poor doggy. Hey you both get exercise walking the dog!

Cynara Tue 28-Mar-17 15:47:47

I would have taken your text as mardy and passive aggressive. He asked you to walk the dog tonight (and phrased it as a polite request). You replied with what sounds like a snide tone suggesting that he's asked you to do it every night from now on. There was no need for that.

AnUtterIdiot Tue 28-Mar-17 15:49:34

I'm kind of with OliversMumsArmy on this. I can see how it would be annoying to say to someone "please do single task X for me this evening" and get back a message saying "why don't I just do it all the time", however many kisses are attached. Both my DH and I might have reacted similarly at different times depending on how "loaded" the particular task was (e.g. we both hate brushing the dog's teeth so if one of us sent a text like that about the dog's teeth, the other might immediately assume they were trying to get out of it forever and it was the thin end of the wedge). But then perhaps he was playing a long game in terms of avoiding walking the dog and felt that he'd been rumbled. Hard to tell from what you've said. Perhaps there was a specific reason why he wouldn't have time to do workout and walk that particular evening?

Doyouwantabrew Tue 28-Mar-17 15:50:52

'I just wanna walk and don't care if it's the lardy one or the mardy one'

Woof

Soubriquet Tue 28-Mar-17 15:54:43

Yanbu

I would have asked the same tbh

He could have easily replied, "no just tonight. Need to do xyz before workout" which I bet then you wouldn't have a problem

But if he's going to do a workout every night now, I would also wonder if this meant no more dog walking

FishChipsAndBeans Tue 28-Mar-17 15:54:57

Thanks everyone. Quite mixed answers.

It's really interesting to hear the comments about me being passive-aggressive because it's something I've actually thought about my husband. I've not really acknowledged that I can act the same sad I'm not a sulker though, and I wouldn't say things like 'I'll remember that', or give him the silent treatment.

The subsequent text I sent said that I didn't say no and was just trying to find out if this was a one off; then when he didn't reply, I sent another asking was he ignoring me now.

The dog is upset because she likes us all to go for a walk together grin

Oh and yes, I have suggested that exercise won't really help him lose weight and that diet might be the problem, but he doesn't believe me.

Sparkletastic Tue 28-Mar-17 15:55:28

Yeah but the logical assumption from his text was that he wished to replace one activity with another for no apparent reason so can see why OP wanted to check. He sounds like a mardybum OP - YANBU.

And agree it's changing diet rather than packing in 2 workouts a day that will have the most impact on his weight.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Tue 28-Mar-17 15:56:33

Sounds like the dog might be better company tonight op!!

FishChipsAndBeans Tue 28-Mar-17 15:57:49

But if he's going to do a workout every night now, I would also wonder if this meant no more dog walking

Well yes, that's what I was trying to find out. Maybe my approach was too passive aggressive though?

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