Talk

Advanced search

AIBU to wonder what it's all for?

(11 Posts)
Hereslookingatyoukid Tue 28-Mar-17 12:16:41

I've been pondering this question on and off for the last few months - for background I'm happily married with two beautiful DDs, a comfortable lifestyle, nice house and I genuinely feel pretty content with my lot. We haven't had the easiest journey over the last few years; there are five years between my DDs with three losses in between but we are now enjoying life as a family of four after thinking it would never happen. But...I catch myself wondering (usually in the shower!) what is it all for? I'm probably not expressing myself very clearly as it's all a bit jumbled in my head and I wonder whether after all of the ups and downs we've had over the last few years, this period of relative calm has unnerved me! Could it be I'm not very good at relaxing into a calm and steady life? At the moment weeks go by and they are generally good weeks with plenty of laughter and fun (and a bit of work stress and all the other stuff that comes with juggling working and being a parent) but I look ahead to the future and find it hard to see what the point of going through each day is and what goal are we working towards? I genuinely don't think I'm depressed or anxious particularly as I find lots to be thankful and enjoy for each day but just wonder kind of where do we go from here? Thanks if you've got this far - anyone have any words of wisdom or am I just weird?

Eolian Tue 28-Mar-17 12:25:48

You're not weird. It's human nature to question the meaning and purpose of life. I personally don't think there is one, but I find that accepting there's no purpose helps me go with the flow, appreciate the good things when they come and deal with the bad things with a bit more equanimity. Compared with the vastness of the universe and the hugeness of time, we are all just tiny, brief, unimportant blips. Some might find that depressing, but I actually find it reassuring! Maybe it's me that's weird. grin

Hereslookingatyoukid Tue 28-Mar-17 12:35:18

Thank you! You've hit the nail on the head totally and that makes much more sense to think of us as being fairly inconsequential in the grand scheme of things! ... Goes off to ponder the universe 😀

Eolian Tue 28-Mar-17 12:54:50

Oh good smile. I wonder if in some way you've got so used to the ups and downs of the last few years, that part of you is sort of looking for the next bump in the road, and it is almost unsettling not to know if or when there might be one, which makes it hard to settle down and enjoy the bump-free bit you're on now. Enjoy pondering the universe!

Hereslookingatyoukid Tue 28-Mar-17 13:05:35

I think that could definitely be part of it - we seem to have lurched from one issue to another and I think I've become a bit 'steeled' for the next issue and can't settle into things being 'normal'! Thanks for taking the time to reply - feel much less of a weirdo now! 😂

Eolian Tue 28-Mar-17 13:14:37

No worries. grin

Gottagetmoving Tue 28-Mar-17 13:21:37

I don't think it is all for anything.
You may have goals along the way you want to achieve but day to day you just want your children to learn & grow and be happy and the same for yourself.
It IS each day as it comes.
I used to wonder the same, as if there was something I should be aiming for or working towards and what it all means but now I just accept each day and hope for the best!

showmeislands Tue 28-Mar-17 14:04:58

For me, the key for life feeling meaningful lies in identifying your values and living a life that is as congruent with them as you can, on a daily basis. Even in small ways.

Hereslookingatyoukid Tue 28-Mar-17 14:34:43

Thank you both for your thoughts - I think I maybe need to change my mindset and try and relax into just being! It just is, is a good way to put it and I definitely think the idea of having values and trying to live your life by them is a pretty good compass too!

Eolian Tue 28-Mar-17 14:51:09

I'm not a Buddhist but Buddhist teachings have quite a lot of sensible and helpful things to say about being present in the moment and all that kind of thing.

Toffeelatteplease Tue 28-Mar-17 14:59:27

Personally I find the purpose of life is to have fun (and go to Disney).

The between times are they to make you appreciate the fun times (and Disney)

I'm sure for other people the purpose of life it will be a whole lot more worthy. But for me it is this

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now