(I'm looking at you, FIL!)
Background: I worked in a professional setting since graduating, right up until my youngest was about one. DH works away a lot, given the nature of his job, he can be away for months at a time and is often away just through the week as well. As this isn't always known well in advance, and isn't constant, full time after/before school care wouldn't be cost effective, short term (short notice) child care is difficult. As my job required work in the evenings and weekends, it was increasingly difficult to juggle everything while DH was away for long periods, as there wasn't anyone to help out with pick up/inset days/sick days, etc. So....
I have been a (mostly) SAHM for the past few years, but regularly volunteer at school AND have always done contract work. This is the bit I wanted to ask about. I am able to do professional contract work in total about 3 months of the year. I really enjoy the mental stimulation, although it is a really intense work period with tight deadlines - I am literally working every waking moment apart from eating/sleeping/organising kids, etc. It's definitely not sustainable long term even if the work was available, and if DH is away during this time it is extremely stressful trying to complete without any adult assistance with kids/household. But I do enjoy it, and it's good money. In fact, the money I make for the approx 3 months is equivalent to what I would earn doing a 3 hour shift 4 days a week in retail (which is the only job I have seen recently that I could possibly qualify for and would fit with our family at the moment) OVER NEARLY 10 MONTHS!
I am completely happy going back to work when the kids are a bit more independent (early primary atm) and/or DH isn't working away as much. I enjoy the contract work, I don't think I would enjoy shift work, which would then come with all the associated difficulties when DH is away again.
However, FIL has expressed his opinion that I'm just a 'lady who lunches' and has implied that I am lazy for not working now, despite earning as above, running the house, and volunteering. Of course, he has only said this directly to me while DH is away. I find his views personally offensive. I don't go out for coffee/lunch every day and spend loads of money, so it's not like I don't contribute financially overall. AIBU, am I lazy, or should I be deliberately making life difficult for myself for slightly more money in a regular job? WWYD?
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AIBU?
To think I'm not actually a lazy 'lady who lunches'?
148 replies
Tranquiltess · 28/03/2017 00:01
OP posts:
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