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DH didn't plan anything for first Mother's Day.

(91 Posts)
Ladykluck Mon 27-Mar-17 17:58:50

DS is 8 months old and I've had a terrible time dealing with his reflux and PND. Had been looking forward to Mothers Day thinking DH would do something nice for my first Mothers Day. On the Saturday he presents me with a supermarket bunch of flowers that I drove him to go and buy. On MD he gives me a card from him. Nothing from the baby. Then he asks do I want to go out, excitedly say yes thinking he's booked the afternoon tea I'd been hinting at for ages. Nope, Costa and buys me an Americano saying he'll buy us a takeaway later. Fast forward home where I then am left to do the laundry and I end up ordering and paying for the take away as he's took himself off to play his computer after putting DS to bed. AIBU to have expected a little more.

ThePiglet59 Mon 27-Mar-17 18:18:22

I had to remind/harangue my oldest to get something for his wife from their 4 year old.
He was taking his mum out for lunch, but hadn't thought of his wife (who is seven months gone with No2).
Stupid sod.

PotteringAlong Mon 27-Mar-17 18:20:00

You got a card. And flowers. And a day out with your little family.

Sounds lovely to me. If you wanted an extravaganza you should have mentioned it.

Dearlittleflo Mon 27-Mar-17 18:21:17

My husband didn't do anything for our first Mother's Day- it didn't even cross his mind to do so, as I'm not his mother (ffs).

Doesn't mean you're not appreciated (assuming he is generally appreciative)- I think some people just don't see things like MD as significant. If you want him to mark it, speak up and tell him so he knows for next time.

Dearlittleflo Mon 27-Mar-17 18:22:33

Actually sorry, just read it properly- card and flowers is marking it. Seems quite reasonable. But still, speak up if you fancy something more next time so that he knows, or organise a treat for yourself.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 27-Mar-17 18:22:37

Why did you drive him OP?

user1483387154 Mon 27-Mar-17 18:23:42

You got a card, flowers and taken out for a drink.

TheWitTank Mon 27-Mar-17 18:25:37

I don't know really. I've never been one for making a big fuss over valentines/mothers/fathers day and wouldn't expect (or want really) anything elaborate. I did nothing but got two lovely homemade cards from the kids which is what it's about really! That said, everyone is different and if it really upset you tell him so he knows for next time! People have different expectations ans standards and (like me!) it might not of occurred to him that the day warranted anything like a cream tea. A Costa and takeaway sounds good to me!

PigletWasPoohsFriend Mon 27-Mar-17 18:25:41

You got cards and flowers. He did plan something

d270r0 Mon 27-Mar-17 18:31:15

Your babys 8 months. You can't really expect much from him yet. You aren't your dh's mother... why would he do anything for you?

ems137 Mon 27-Mar-17 18:31:32

I know you're obviously disappointed but he did get you something and you had a mini day out.

My DH didn't sort anything out for me at all. We did go out to a little children's farm but that's because I organised it etc. He was lovely though and brought me a cuppa and breakfast in bed and told me what a great mum I am and I'm more than happy with that.

If you want more next year I suggest that you're a little more proactive in arranging it. I know it would be nicer to be spoilt and have it all done for you but you'll set yourself up for disappointment

MrsChopper Mon 27-Mar-17 18:35:44

Nothing from the baby

Your baby is 8 months old. Your DH got you flowers and a card and took you out. That's a whole lot more than a lot of others received. If you expected a big extravaganza I guess you'll have to have a word with your DH.

Cutesbabasmummy Mon 27-Mar-17 18:36:35

YANBU. I would have been upset too. My son was 4 months on my first mothers day and I got a card "from.him" some flowers and a necklace. It was lovely.

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 27-Mar-17 18:38:08

You had a card, flowers a trip out and a takeaway. Think you need to set your sights a little lower next hear to avoid disappointment. The first year is really hard, especially with PND, it will get better.

We usually give a card and something small that the child can make or could buy with pocket money. This year the children are old enough to make cards and make me breakfast, which was lovely.

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 27-Mar-17 18:40:39

What do you do for Father's Day?

SpiritedLondon Mon 27-Mar-17 18:43:07

Nope don't get it....the DH is supposed to act on behalf of the child otherwise we'd all be waiting til our children were 22 and out of uni before a single gift was given for anything. Also the first one should be a bit special I think ( I got a cashmere robe). Nowadays I still get a handmade card and chocolates and go out for a nice lunch and will expect to reciprocate for Father's Day, but it does seem to be the MN trend to expect fuck all for these occasions.

SpiritedLondon Mon 27-Mar-17 18:44:12

Ps going to " Costa " is not " going out"

kittybiscuits Mon 27-Mar-17 18:47:35

Sorry OP - he was really thoughtless and unfortunately you won't get a lot of sympathy on Mumsnet. Theach bar is set really low.

Bluntness100 Mon 27-Mar-17 18:47:56

Op. I think uou may be confusing Mother's Day with a significant land mark birthday...

Janeofalltrades1 Mon 27-Mar-17 18:48:21

But you're not his mother though.

kittybiscuits Mon 27-Mar-17 18:48:31


TheWitTank Mon 27-Mar-17 18:49:05

grin I genuinely wouldn't want (or use) a cashmere robe or a lunch out on a day when half the country is doing the same thing. Nothing to do with MN at all. Everybody is different and if that's what you like then great, but just because I don't expect anything elaborate it doesn't mean I'm trying to be MN trendy.

JiltedJohnsJulie Mon 27-Mar-17 18:50:36

How is going to Costa not going out? Unless you have one in your house?

specialsubject Mon 27-Mar-17 18:52:14

if 'the bar' means buying wasteful cards and half-dead flowers, seems pretty low anyway....

babies don't go shopping. 'from the baby' is only slightly up on 'from the dog'.

what is probably more worth sorting is that he isn't actually pulling his weight on the important stuff. Better he does that rather than waste your family money on crap.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Mon 27-Mar-17 18:52:20


You received a card, flowers and a coffee from a child who isn't yet old enough to know what day of the week it is, let alone the significance of Mothering Sunday.

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