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Swimming lessons

(17 Posts)
babayjane67 Mon 27-Mar-17 17:58:23

Aibu not going to dd's swimming lessons each wk?
Her dad my dp takes her each wk.he's the only driver in the family.she's been going about 2 yrs now&I was going too to start with.fir about the last year though since dp changed the time when she moved up a group I've stayed home&got on with doing their sandwiches for next day putting washing on etc.I get them an early tea before they go.
It's a half hr lesson plus half an hr for shower after.she's at the age now where she showers dries,&gets herself sorted by herself now.they're bk about 6 usually.
When I was going I was having to supervise her doing it all.dp just literally drove us there& bk that's it!i feel if I could drive I'd be left to take her.he actually showed this to be true in the summer hols last yr.we had a friend&her dd staying for a wk. So I asked if she wanted to come with us to watch dd which they did.just as we were walking out the door to go dp gives me money to get both girls a few sweets after&I said aren't u coming then?no he said u go with with friend.hadn't said anything a bout not going until then!
Anyway I'm rambling now!
Aibu?

WankersHacksandThieves Mon 27-Mar-17 18:02:39

I used to like to go when the pool they went to had a spectating area but when they moved pools I just dropped them off and picked them up later.

Does your DP stay and watch or just drop her off, see her in and then collect her when she is dried and dressed? I'm surprised that at 6 she doesn't need a bit of help so is there appropriate changing facilities for him to take her to to help? Is that why he would like you there or is he just bone idle?

babayjane67 Mon 27-Mar-17 18:07:07

Sorry that didn't come out right first some reason! They come home about 6.dd is 8& a half..he watches her.there are separate men& women changing rooms.

WankersHacksandThieves Mon 27-Mar-17 18:20:42

Then I wouldn't bother going unless you fancied it. It doesn't take 2 parents to do that job. I presume you do other things for DC and DH isn't spending all week running them about?

booellesmum Mon 27-Mar-17 18:23:37

Absolutely fine. I'm sure you do loads with her and it is really nice for them to have something they just do with Dad. I always find kids talk more in the car so even though he is not in the water the journey there and back is good bonding time.

babayjane67 Mon 27-Mar-17 18:48:16

I collect her from school one day a wk now. Was getting her every day but dp finishes in time now so he gets her unless he wants to pop into supermarket or get petrol on way home. I get tea on ready.she doestrogen Brownies one day a wk& it's a real rush as by time we've got home from school we've got 20 mins for her to get changed eat something go to loo then out the door again to get to Brownies in time!I've done this with her in all winds& weathers like u do!lol dp now does this& again it means I can be home getting her a decent tea ready before she goes.I take her to school every day& when weathers nice we go to park for a bit on a Friday.
Dp& I we were talking about her learning to ride her bike properly without stabilisers couple of months ago.( she was born with a gross motor condition that means she's bit behind with these skills) he said I get enough exercise at work all day I don't need to be doing any on a wkend!that's yr job!
It's just bit of a battle with him with some things sometimes.

Hissy Mon 27-Mar-17 19:06:20

My ds is 11, only this year he's started going to and coming back from school, up till then I picked him up and dropped him off. Or to child minder/breakfast club when I was working full time.

He does swimming, now an hour but before it was only 30mins. He liked me watching him and encouraging him, your post seems to suggest you resent doing it?

I also used to take him to music and language lessons on Saturdays, but we've cut these back over time. It really was too much.

He plays rugby on Sundays, that really IS all weathers and for 2 solid frozen to the core hours, he loves it when I cheer him on, it helps him play better.

With her motor issues, your encouragement and support of her physical activities really will help.

One thing that made all things possible was FOOD! Mums of boys learn this really early on! On Brownies night, could you take a packed lunch/picnic type thing and at least she could have something to eat on the way home? It would give you more time to get her dressed and if she's anything like my son her mood will be more amenable too!

SisterMoonshine Mon 27-Mar-17 19:11:47

Do you not feel like you want to learn to drive too?

Brokenbiscuit Mon 27-Mar-17 19:12:24

I'm not really sure what you're asking TBH. Does your DH think you should go with him, and if so, why? If dd can manage in the changing room by herself, it seems unnecessary for both of you to go.

Is it that your DH is fed up of always having to be the taxi? My dh doesn't drive so I do all the running around after dd. I don't really mind but do occasionally wish he could chip in.

Or is this about the general division of labour? The thing about the bike makes it sound like he thinks he is doing more than his fair share, but you obviously don't think that's the case. How are other responsibilities shared between you?

babayjane67 Mon 27-Mar-17 19:14:17

As I said Hissy dp takes her to Brownies now so I can make a proper tea before she goes.as the weather gets better I will do what I did last yr& make her a packed tea so we can eat it at the park before she goes.
I don't resent going at all!I resent the fact dp thinks I should be going with him every wk& that if I could drive I would be the one taking her every time& he just wouldn't bother!plus he would still expect me to cook tea make both their sandwiches for school& work the next day when we got bk!

Hissy Mon 27-Mar-17 19:18:37

Oh I see! He's dragging you along too? Good god no, one or other, or it's overkill!

No. That isn't fair. You could take turns, which means HE sorts out tea...

My friends have 3 kids who all play a particular sport and they are constantly juggling who does what, it's hard, but it just about gets done

babayjane67 Mon 27-Mar-17 19:21:44

I do all the cooking cleaning making their sandwiches take her to school.
He works,will pop in supermarket if we need anything on way home. We do big shop on a wkend together.he puts dd to bed most nights mostly because she wants him to though sometimes she asks me to which I do.I get up with her on wkends& if she wakes in the night with a nightmare.if that happens he will say next day I wondered what the noise was!
I don't want to learn to drive no am quite happy walking or going by bus unless it's raining lol plus we can't afford to at mo.
I work part time at dd''s school.

Ecureuil Mon 27-Mar-17 19:24:42

Swimming doesn't need two parents there does it? Seems like overkill to me.
My mum takes DD1 to her swimming lesson while I stay at home with DD2

babayjane67 Mon 27-Mar-17 19:38:21

He doesn't actually say anything but makes me FEEL bad about not going iykwim.

BackforGood Mon 27-Mar-17 19:44:13

So the actual question is, 'Do 2 of us need to go to dd's lesson?' ?

In which case, the answer is no, of course not.
I can never understand when you see 2 parents doing the taking/ fetching to things, unless they are coming from / going on to somewhere.
That said, if my partner didn't drive, I would resent being the only one to do all the taking and fetchings over years and years.

babayjane67 Mon 27-Mar-17 20:11:08

If he does resent it he's never said.part of having kids is doing things with them taking them places.
Dd does something 4 days a week after school 2 of them being at school.
We don't do much at wkends generally other than food shopping on a Saturday. Dp usually works on a Sunday for 6 hrs but not always.he takes time off in most of the school hols if he can.
Dd&I walk the dog but dp never comes with us.not even wkends or hols.he's not interested in going for a walk through the countryside perhaps leading to a pub for a drink or something then walking on round to home.he just says it's not his thing!

babayjane67 Mon 27-Mar-17 20:12:12

Should say NOT interested in country walks!

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