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WIBU to have not vacated my seat and stood on a crowded bus to make way for a buggy?

(59 Posts)
Janey50 Mon 27-Mar-17 17:45:38

I got on the bus at 2.30pm today. It was packed. I am disabled,use one or sometimes 2 walking sticks (I have rheumatoid and osteoarthritis in multiple joints and fibromyalgia) so my heart sank. Luckily a kind lady offered me her seat. Unfortunately,this seat was right next to the wheelchair/pushchair space, on one of these badly designed buses, whereby if you sit in one of these seats,your legs are in the way of a second buggy getting on. There was already one buggy there,a large double one. Another (single) buggy boarded at the next stop. The mother looked at me and said 'Can you move'. I said 'Where to? There are no empty seats down here'. She huffed and rolled her eyes and said 'Go upstairs then'. Just then the man sitting behind me piped up 'Excus me,the lady's disabled,why should she have to go upstairs?' I then said to the woman with the buggy 'Sorry but I can't stand up on a moving bus'. I have balance problems and weak wrists and fingers and find it almost impossible to hold onto a pole on a moving bus. She said mo more but continued to give me daggers glances and tutting and huffing every time someone had to squeeze past her buggy stuck out in the aisle (which tbh I'm surprised the driver allowed). The woman with the buggy made me feel like IWBU. Was I?

Solasum Mon 27-Mar-17 17:46:46

Absolutely not. She should be ashamed.

ethelfleda Mon 27-Mar-17 17:47:37

YANBU

PlayOnWurtz Mon 27-Mar-17 17:47:44

She was.
Surely she could have collapsed it?

heateallthebuns Mon 27-Mar-17 17:48:10

You weren't u at all. Already a buggy and a disabled person, there's only enough space for that - tough!!! She probs didn't realise you needed seat more than her at first, but she should have apologised when the man pointed it out to her.

ThePiglet59 Mon 27-Mar-17 17:48:55

She was probably just knackered and pissed off.
Plus she was probably a self-centred arse too.

PurpleDaisies Mon 27-Mar-17 17:49:25

Surely the solution was to collapse the buggy?

You weren't af fault op.

Notthecarwashagain Mon 27-Mar-17 17:51:05

"can you move" shock
The cheeky bitch.

YWNBU. I'm glad someone stuck up for you too.

DumbledoresApprentice Mon 27-Mar-17 17:51:06

She should have collapsed her buggy. You did nothing wrong.

Bobbybobbins Mon 27-Mar-17 17:52:18

Glad the other passenger pointed out to her that she WBU.

picklemepopcorn Mon 27-Mar-17 17:53:24

Glad someone stuck up for you.

Janey50 Mon 27-Mar-17 17:54:27

Thank you. I really was beginning to think that I was in the wrong. It did occur to me that she could have folded the buggy. The child looked about 4,so not a young baby,but I was wary of suggesting this in case the child was disabled. The man behind me did comment to his companion,when the woman got off the bus after 4 stops (about three quarters of a mile) 'She could have walked that!' grin

WafflingVersatile Mon 27-Mar-17 17:54:35

She's an utter disgrace.She's the kind of buggy owner that steams down the path and doesn't give a shit about anyone. So many times I let these women by and they don't say thanks. Like it's their god given right to have carte blanche on the pathways. I have a buggy but I try to be courteous and polite.

ItsNachoCheese Mon 27-Mar-17 17:55:36

Yanbu at all. Where i am if there is a wheelchair on the bus then there is space for 1 buggy opposite it. If another buggy then wants on it has to be folded or you wait for the next bus. Similarly if no wheelchair is on board 2 buggies can be onboard and anymore have to be folded down

Janey50 Mon 27-Mar-17 17:58:18

Yes I was pleasantly surprised at the man sticking up for me. Normally, other passengers just do the usual gazing out of the window thing,pretending not to have seen anything.

Janey50 Mon 27-Mar-17 18:01:17

Meant to say I did say thank you to the nice man just before he got off the bus.

Meekonsandwich Mon 27-Mar-17 18:05:11

Oooohhhhh I'm so glad that other person stuck up for you. That's 3 of my worst peeves In one,
Assuming someone is able bodied
Pushchairs in bloody general
And children in them! Why do parents feel the need to put children who can walk in pushchairs? !

I'm sorry she was such an arse to you.

CactusFred Mon 27-Mar-17 18:12:33

Not unreasonable at all! What an entitled cow and I love how she was only on the bus 3/4 mile! Lazy too!!

Yay to the man who stuck up for you too.

CrohnicallyPregnant Mon 27-Mar-17 18:13:19

She was not BU to have asked you if you could move ('can you move' is I guess a middle of the road phrase, she could have been politer and said 'excuse me, would you mind...' but it's not out and out rude like a command to move would be). After all, her child might have been disabled or she could have been disabled herself, otherwise I guess you need to wonder why she used the bus (and paid?) for 4 stops!

As an aside meek I find it rather rude that one of your pet peeves is assuming someone is able bodied, yet you are guilty of doing the same (do you know for sure that the woman's child could safely walk?)

And YANBU to have said no, you are disabled and needed the seat.

I guess the only people who might have been unreasonable is if there were any able bodied people in the nearby vicinity who could have stood to let you sit elsewhere.

Enidblyton1 Mon 27-Mar-17 18:16:34

I'm surprised the bus driver let on a second buggy - a shame to put you in an awkward position. But no, YWNBU! The other lady sounds very rude. I don't see a problem with her asking if you were able to move seat, but she should have asked politely and accepted that you couldn't.

expatinscotland Mon 27-Mar-17 18:17:16

YANBU.

Sick of buggies. Think they should be entirely banned unless folded or SN buggy.

m0therofdragons Mon 27-Mar-17 18:17:56

She wasn't bu to ask - folding a buggy is a big faff and you don't know anything about her (could be having a bad day, have pnd or could just be self absorbed- thing is, you don't know). She asked without knowing your disabilities. Random passenger steps in rather than you answering seems odd to me - did you expect her to be a mind reader?
However yanbu to not move as your need was greater - an assessment she couldn't have made previously. Her giving evils is her bu.
Overall it's such a nothing thing that mn gets stressed out about. Whenever I go to London I have this firm belief that my dc aren't entitled to seats on public transport (created by mn) so I plan to make them stand, positioning myself to be able to catch 2 5yos if they don't hold tightly enough. The reality is that without fail people of all races and sexes smile at my dc and give up their seats. On mn everyone hates dc, judge mums and assume the worst.

WhateverNameIsStillAvailable Mon 27-Mar-17 18:21:47

The cheeky cow! I've been on a bus in Berlin once where a woman with a buggy had to get off the bus and had to wait for the next bus (10 minutes) because a man in a wheelchair was getting on. The bus drivers call and rightly so in my opinion. I've been that woman with the buggy many times and always will get off and walk on the rest of the way. I think it's common sense.

Dontactlikeyouknowme Mon 27-Mar-17 18:26:22

YANBU. However I have no objection to people using buggies with older kids

ChrisYoungFuckingRocks Mon 27-Mar-17 18:28:01

YWNBA at all. I assume you were in a bit of a shock with her abruptness and that's why you didn't immediately speak up for yourself. She just assumed you were able bodied.

I am so glad the man spoke up, and I agree that somebody else could've given up their seat for you so she could get her buggy in, but perhaps they were all too annoyed with her for being so rude grin.

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