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Womansplaining - just over explaining in general

(13 Posts)
Illtellyouwhatswhat10 Mon 27-Mar-17 17:14:41

Hello

I've seen the thread on mansplaining which has prompted this thread.

I have a very dear friend that I have worked with for many years (she is quite senior in the organisation we work for and rightly so, as she is very competent on so many levels). But when we have any conversations (work matters or personal), I'd say she does 80% of the talking and I get an ear bashing.

The worst is if she asks you if you've read X book, seen X film or TV programme? If you say no, she then gives a looooong boring description of what's in it (I didn't mention she seems to have a photographic memory) - so I try to avoid these subjects of conversation. Ditto any work scenario if you ask how it's going .... cue a long, long diatribe and over-explanation of the whole process.

Sometimes if I'm very unlucky she will tell me something in detail that she has already told me before - I have pulled her up on this (deep breath, interrrupt, use her name, say she's already told me) but she never acknowledges or apologises but will change tack slightly.

The trouble is, she is a really lovely person and has been a genuine friend in time of trouble. And to her credit, she has amazing insights and problem-solving skills. In other words, so many great attributes apart from the one matter above. My DH wonders if she may be a little aspergers?

FootstepsMerlot Mon 27-Mar-17 17:22:28

I have certainly identified Mumsplaining.
An example of mumsplaining would be a woman explaining how to use a washing machine to her 30 year old child who has done their own washing for a decade.

Klaphat Mon 27-Mar-17 17:24:44

Waits for the OP to get an 'ear bashing' over the phrase 'she may be a little aspergers'

pipsqueak25 Mon 27-Mar-17 17:26:08

oh good grief, your friend sounds like my dm, asks a question then doesn't let you answer.

ZilphasHatpin Mon 27-Mar-17 17:27:00

Sorry, I missed the part where you explained how this has anything to do with women. Could you clarify it for me please?

friendlyflicka Mon 27-Mar-17 17:29:40

I think that phrase 'mansplaining' is incredibly annoying. I know just as many women who do it..

AFriendCalledFour Mon 27-Mar-17 17:31:48

I think I'm a bit like your friend, OP - I have very poor social skills generally. I've never been diagnosed with any condition that would explain it. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm a bore, and just do my best to rein it in if I catch myself over-explaining [nice gender-neutral way of phasing it grin ]

Dearlittleflo Mon 27-Mar-17 17:32:24

Ha, I have a friend like this- she quite often "explains" to me the intricacies of my own job, despite the fact that she does something completely different.

I think the term mansplaining comes from the fact that some men have a tendency to assume that they are the authority on a given subject, simply by virtue of the fact they they are male and you are female. If it's woman-on-woman, it's just being a twat.

wizzywig Mon 27-Mar-17 17:42:09

Thats what happens to me whenever i speak to a teacher

Illtellyouwhatswhat10 Mon 27-Mar-17 17:48:51

Oh AFriendCalledFour

You don't come over as someone with poor social skills - in fact quite the opposite, as someone who thinks about how they may be coming across to other people!

I do like Dearlittleflo's definition of mansplaining though!

ThePiglet59 Mon 27-Mar-17 17:50:36

Some people (of either sex) should just have two mouths and one ear.

Illtellyouwhatswhat10 Mon 27-Mar-17 17:51:52

'ear ear!

Scrubba Mon 27-Mar-17 18:06:16

I know plenty of people who Like the sound of their own voice or Are full of their own importance. I don't 'splain' them. I'd never heard of that term til this week and it's pure crap. I know plenty of both sexes!

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