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Any mothers days present is a privilege not a right

(90 Posts)
cheesyinkent Sun 26-Mar-17 14:05:15

So several unhappy MD threads today, shock horror. Any thread on inheritance always goes on about its not a right. Can't the same apply to mothers day?

gamerchick Sun 26-Mar-17 14:09:10

I think it's sad. It just seems to be an echo of all other dates where feeling unappreciated is highlighted for one day. The rest of the time is what matters more.

Achoopichu Sun 26-Mar-17 14:09:15

Don't think that's the point. As a mum you do lots of running round for 364 days s year it would be nice if someone appreciated it, and showed that they did. As mine haven't today I feel quite fed up!

Bloomed Sun 26-Mar-17 14:12:06

Agree that it is as though one day has to make up for the rest of the year/feeling unappreciated. No wonder so many feel deflated. Hope it helps everyone to regain a bit of balance during the year.

Achoopichu Sun 26-Mar-17 14:14:13

I've been reading threads about lots of nice ways people are marking the occasion, but if we did anything I'd have to organise it, like I organise Xmas and birthdays and Easter and everything else. So I can't be bothered and am still in bed. I'm being a martyr obviously but I don't care. Lost my mum recently too.so I should be checking on dad to make sure he's ok. I'm going to wallow a bit longer tho, not that anyone will notice

Plunkette Sun 26-Mar-17 14:21:56

I think that it only takes a very small amount of effort to say "I love you Mum, thanks for all you do" on any day of the year, and that given the huge commercialisation of Mothering Sunday there is no excuse for forgetting to say it today.

I don't think presents are important but how hard is it to make breakfast in bed, or spend time with your Mum on this emotive day?

It's not much to expect really.

My DH and my DC never forget and I feel desperately sorry for those Mums who are feeling unappreciated today. flowers

CremeEggThief Sun 26-Mar-17 14:25:55

YABU. Most of us spend our lives running around after and dedicating our lives to our kids. The least they can do is show a bit of thought and respect for us on Mother's Day and our birthdays. My 14 year old DS has really let me down on my birthday and Mother's Day this year.sadangry

Northernlurker Sun 26-Mar-17 14:31:25

I agree op. As I've just said on another thread, I didn't have kids to get a prize once a year.

Bluntness100 Sun 26-Mar-17 14:35:26

I'm actually appalled at some of the threads. This is my first Mother's Day on mumsnet and I did not know people behaved like this.

My gift isn't good enough, I want a present, my card is not good enough, my husband didn't do enough, it seems endless.

I thought it was all about the thought that counts. Clearly not for some.

It's very sad indeed.

CancellyMcChequeface Sun 26-Mar-17 14:36:53

YANBU. You're right about the inheritance threads, and threads about DC not appreciating presents usually result in them being called grabby and entitled (not by everyone, but the majority). Usual etiquette is that you pretend to like the card/present even if you think it's rubbish or not what you wanted, isn't it?

Between the poster disappointed in gold instead of silver jewellery, and the one posting a picture of a home-made card for others to comment on, I do think there's a weird attitude to it. Feeling a bit disappointed, fine. Crying or sulking, very immature.

BewtySkoolDropowt Sun 26-Mar-17 14:40:41

Bluntness, get used to it. It's similar on Christmas too.

I very much feel like my kids appreciate me all through the year. I don't need to be told it on a specific Sunday just because society says so.

But there are always people that feel it is their right to be centre of attention for a day.

FourToTheFloor Sun 26-Mar-17 14:42:59

One thread I read the OP said she wasn't very good at this mothering thing but felt disappointed in her dd's. OK hmm

I shouldn't come on here on Mothers day because those threads really piss me off.

WorraLiberty Sun 26-Mar-17 14:43:14

Bluntness, it's the same every.single.year without fail.

I can understand some people feeling upset if the day hasn't even been acknowledged, with a hug or a 'Happy Mother's Day'.

But the 'I don't like my present' threads and the 'Mother's Day tat' threads make me sick.

If my kids were that ungrateful I'd tell them about themselves. I can't believe some adults act that way.

WorraLiberty Sun 26-Mar-17 14:44:39

Actually, even worse are the threads where women get the arse because their DHs actually want to spend time with their actual Mothers on Mother's Day confused

Bluntness100 Sun 26-Mar-17 14:48:24

It's just horrible isn't it?. I also get it if your kids don't remember, but to complain that they did but they didn't get you enough or their effort wasn't good enough for you? shock

PaulAnkaTheDog Sun 26-Mar-17 14:49:55

I fucking hate Mother's Day on here. In fact, last year I think I started a thread in attempt for people to put all their bitching and whinging in one place, instead of the endless threads.

danTDM Sun 26-Mar-17 14:53:24

To be shocked the DH didn't get them flowers but had the cheek to get his actual DM flowers. hmm

CoolJazz Sun 26-Mar-17 14:55:17

People expectations are too high and that always end in disappointment.

I had cards and a bunch of daffs, now just getting on with things I've got to do- work n stuff.

When we try to make things 'special' we are so often disppointed.
Do your kids love you? Did they acknowledge this today in any small way e.g. a card/phone call/big hug?
Job done. Just enjoy your life.

justdontevenfuckingstart Sun 26-Mar-17 14:59:50

My mum always tells me not to bother, I tell my girls not to bother. DD1 got me wine and flowers, absolutely beautiful but she got told off, I HATE her spending her money on me. DD2 text me 'Happy Mothers day bumhole, love you'
BUT we appreciate each other all year round. I guess some aren't as lucky and would like a little nod of appreciation just once a year!

BusterGonad Sun 26-Mar-17 15:02:33

It's totally not about the present but about being thought about, a offer of a cup of tea? Maybe accompanied by your favorite biscuits. It's not the present or the money but the little things. I'd rather have a packet of my favorite biscuits costing £1 than a £50 box of chocolates I've never shown a preference for!

TheFairyCaravan Sun 26-Mar-17 15:02:41

Mothers Day is always awful on here. Some women act like spoilt brats. It's bloody ridiculous.

picklemepopcorn Sun 26-Mar-17 15:08:28

If you are lucky enough to feel confident and appreciated all year round, that is great. Some poor mums feel really weary and hoped for a day when they would be made to feel special.

Sadly, the day reflects the family and relationship I think.

RedMetamorphosis Sun 26-Mar-17 15:11:20

The only people I am feeling sorry for today are ones like my friend, who would do anything to be a mother, but have lost multiple babies and spent a fortune on IVF.

I'm sure she would love the opportunity to moan about her child forgetting to buy a present or buying the wrong one. Not sure if she is a MNetter but if so, she and probably many, many other women suffering from infertility will be avoiding MNet today.

Flumpernickel Sun 26-Mar-17 15:11:22

YABU biscuit

Flumpernickel Sun 26-Mar-17 15:15:10

I think you are missing the point with some posts, its not all about presents, it is about wanting those who you would cheerfully die for, just giving you a hug and making the effort to be with you for the day without being asked.
Although I do tend to agree that moaning that a specific gift isnt good enough is a tad much.

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