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To lie about my due date?

(23 Posts)
missm0use Sun 26-Mar-17 12:43:54

I had a early scan to check how far a long I was due to irregular periods and DP came long - all fine and said I was 6w + 4. (Now 10 + 3) but didn't want to give a due date as it might change at my 12 week scan. DP isn't coming to 12 weeks scan as wants to save his time off / holidays for 20 week scan and when baby arrives. So won't be there when I get my date, so I could add on a few extra days so when we tell MIL he can honestly tell her the wrong date to save me some pestering!

With DD I was due on the 10th but was 13 days over by the time I she arrived and the pestering started 3 weeks before my due date so by the time I gave birth I had a full month of : Any sign of the baby? Are you in labour? Have you lost your plug yet? And other invasive questions from MIL! As well as all the other daily texts / phone calls once I got to my due date from the rest of family and friends asking if the baby's on its way / here yet!

Would be completely unreasonable to add on a week / 10 days to save myself from wanting throttle MIL? grin

Mrscog Sun 26-Mar-17 12:50:08

Oh yes definitely it was so nice being peaceful - I told everyone I was due 'right at the end of April' when the EDD was actually 18th!

MrsBartlettforthewin Sun 26-Mar-17 12:51:33

I was unspecific with ds1 and 2 about due date due to the pestering with DD (went two weeks over) Just tell DH you don't want to tell anyone exact date and just say early autumn.

rollonthesummer Sun 26-Mar-17 12:52:34

Absolutely!

HLBug Sun 26-Mar-17 12:52:57

I get where you're coming from...but I think YABU I'm afraid. I was 14 days over with DS so understand the constant pressure and questions about something you have no control over...but what if something went wrong and DH / MIL told medical staff the wrong information? 7/10 days can make a big difference.

Fingers crossed second baby comes quicker and you don't have constant messages. Or, why don't you just say to her when she starts "thanks MIL, given this is baby number 2 I know what signs to look for this time. I'll keep you updated, but please don't message me constantly as it doesn't do anything to help".

WonderMike Sun 26-Mar-17 12:53:07

Term is 37-42 weeks. You can elaborate as much you want.

YourHandInMyHand Sun 26-Mar-17 12:53:55

Sounds like a genius idea to me! I'd probably get my DP on board though as I know he would join me, but that depends on if yours would agree to keep the real date a secret or not.

Iamastonished Sun 26-Mar-17 12:54:18

Good idea. Also, unless you need her for child care, do not tell her when you have gone into labour. I don't understand why people do this.

Mrscog Sun 26-Mar-17 12:55:50

Hlbug, I think that's a bit ott - the official Edd would be in your green notes.

OhDearToby Sun 26-Mar-17 12:56:18

This time round I just vaguely tell people it's the end of June.

With the first two I always gave the exact date. The pestering never bothered me but last time I was due shortly before mil's birthday. The whole way through she kept telling me she had a feeling the baby was going to be born on her birthday. An uncomfortable, impatient pregnant person doesn't want to hear that someone has a feeling they are going to go overdue ffs!

FaithAgain Sun 26-Mar-17 12:56:21

Oh yes I did a vague 'End of April' when my due date was 24th. She arrived 14th.

DarrylsLilAssKicker Sun 26-Mar-17 13:00:25

I had this pestering from MIL. In the end, in response to another "any signs!" message, I replied: "Nothing, but you will be one of the first to know once he or she has arrived."

She didn't text again grin.

My own mum gave me plenty of space and didn't ask at all, was lovely.

MrEBear Sun 26-Mar-17 13:01:25

Do it.
Although hopefully with a second baby she will be less enthusiastic.
I wouldn't worry about anybody giving wrong date in emergency. Your notes would keep Docs right and how often do people end up in hospital unconscious?

I think I'd opt to give your estimated date now before your scan, then forget to correct it after the scan. That way you aren't really lying just bending the truth.

elliejjtiny Sun 26-Mar-17 13:01:28

Yanbu. Although that would have backfired on me if I'd tried that with my ds4. He was over 7lb at 35 weeks, nobody would have believed he was a 33/34 week baby.

I feel your pain though, the haven't you had the baby yet comments started when I was 28 weeks with ds5. Not helpful, especially when I was terrified of having another premature baby (I know 35 weeks isn't very early but ds4 was in neonatal for 4 weeks and has long term complications from his premature birth).

Motherof3beautfulgirls Sun 26-Mar-17 13:30:28

Isn't it quite nice that she's so excited and wants to know? I understand but also think its a little unreasonable

babymouse Sun 26-Mar-17 13:36:55

A due date is a prediction anyway, I don't think you should feel bad if you give everyone else one of your own choosing!

Greenkit Sun 26-Mar-17 13:53:00

Add on a month
Saves with the "Ooooo how long now"

Wando1986 Sun 26-Mar-17 14:00:22

We've just told everyone late May/early June. No one is knowing the due date as tbh only 2% of babies are born on them. A baby is full term anywhere between 37 and 42 weeks... so thats 5 weeks to pop.

BackforGood Sun 26-Mar-17 14:04:06

but what if something went wrong and DH / MIL told medical staff the wrong information? 7/10 days can make a big difference

...can't help thinking the medical staff would read the information off her notes, rather than phoning her MiL hmm grin

Joyofscreamingjoy Sun 26-Mar-17 14:10:15

I tried to be vague with edd (it was my first and my friend advised to put +2weeks so I didn't get the hassle she got) but some people are bloody persistent, 'yeah but what date? My cousins, mother in laws dog was born on blah blah blah maybe it will be the same date?' 😆
I know people are excited but back the hell off hormonal and sometimes petrified women.
In short in think you are completely reasonable 👍

tiggytape Sun 26-Mar-17 16:23:22

YABU if you mean lying to DH about it so that he would be lying to MIL with a clear conscious
As well as unreasonable it is also probably pointless given that he's coming to the 20 week scan when he will find out the correct date anyway.

If you mean both of you knowing the truth but being vague to MIL then that's different.

balence49 Sun 26-Mar-17 16:33:41

I have just said to my newly pregnant friend to try to add a few weeks on to due date. It's awful all the pestering, can't understand why folk need to know if you are having any signs anyway. It's bad enough at that stage without a audience waiting for updates!

StillaChocoholic Sun 26-Mar-17 16:45:29

I've told people this one is due beginning of April but tried to avoid telling them that actual date (which is a week today, start making your way out any time now baby!)
It does get difficult when people go but what date? Argh I'm trying to avoid that haha
Thankfully most people I know are quite sensible so I'm not getting the constant questions.
I wouldn't hide the due date from your husband though, but explain that you want to be vague with due dates to avoid persistent irritating questions.

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