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(50 Posts)
Snoreborewhoreee Sun 26-Mar-17 11:20:47

Not really an AIBU as such, but should I be paying more cos not sure I pay enough?

We are currently living with my mom, me, my partner, 7yo, 5yo and 5 month old.. we are desperately trying to get a house to get out of her hair but cant afford private housing so waiting for the council..
We pay £160 a month for gas and electric and £60 a month for tv, broadband and phone and we buy all our own food which we share..
What else should we pay please?

Sunnysky2016 Sun 26-Mar-17 11:23:24

£220 plus own food sounds good to me. If this was one of my children I would be happy with it. Unless your mum is struggling to pay bills etc?

creamycrackers Sun 26-Mar-17 11:27:57

That's sounds reasonable to me. You could always ask your mum if there is anything else you could help with.

Bitchycocktailwaitress Sun 26-Mar-17 11:33:13

Sounds fair to me. If you were living at my flat that would pay ALL my gas, electricity and tv/phone/internet bills. Maybe you could contribute 25% of council tax in addition if your mum is living alone otherwise, so loses her single person discount?

I'm sure she is happy to help you out though.

Bitchycocktailwaitress Sun 26-Mar-17 11:36:05

Just saw £160 for gas and electricity! Goodness me we pay less than £80 so I'm sure you are contributing more than enough and not being a burden to her financially.

user1476961324 Sun 26-Mar-17 12:09:18

She's probably quite happy with that, if she hasn't mentioned she would like more.

If she's agreed to let all five of you live there, she's probably happy to be of help.

It could be nice to buy her some sort of occasional treat as a thank you (as I imagine if you give her ££ she will spend on grandkids or bills anyway...!). You could send her to get her hair done, pedicure - something like that?

KinkyAfro Sun 26-Mar-17 12:13:56

Wow, that's a good deal. We're staying with mum at the moment and we're giving her £400 for the 2 of us, this covers more than her bills and allows her to buy herself things that whole wouldn't usually. We also buy our own food and weekends we buy and cook food for the 3 of us

KinkyAfro Sun 26-Mar-17 12:14:50

Whole??? She

ImFuckingSpartacus Sun 26-Mar-17 12:17:44

Why is the title of the thread rent, when you aren;t paying any, just bills?

Fluffyears Sun 26-Mar-17 12:24:59

spartacus I'd assume the money is in lieu of rent and she's asking if she should pay some rent.

ImFuckingSpartacus Sun 26-Mar-17 12:26:35

She's moved 5 people into her mothers house, I would have thought paying the poor woman some rent would be obvious? Why would you think you could live their rent free?

WeAllHaveWings Sun 26-Mar-17 12:30:37

£220 for 2 adults and 3 dc sounds very cheap, how many rooms in her house are you occupying?

Where did you stay before and what were your living expenses (rent, council tax, utilities)? I think you are getting a very good deal and should offer quite a bit more, at least £400.

RainbowsAndUnicorn Sun 26-Mar-17 12:33:31

I'd be offering a lot more, an extra five people is going to be making her life very different and restricted compared to what it was before.

Council properties can rake years to get so I'd be looking for any private rental and taking in extra work to cover the rent rather than disrupt her life for so long if it were me.

Bitchycocktailwaitress Sun 26-Mar-17 15:20:13

To be honest this all depends on the circumstances (financially) of the mother. Maybe also she really wants to live with her DD and DGC?

TheNaze73 Sun 26-Mar-17 15:26:55

Every set of circumstances will be different. On the face of it, the 5 of you are paying an incredibly low amount however if your Mum is happy with that, then it isn't a problem

ashleighxoxo Sun 26-Mar-17 16:11:37

I think that's quite good for 5 of you. Myself and DH have bought a house but currently being renovated and has been for the last 18months so have been staying at my parents house. We pay £200 a month and buy our own food and do our own washing etc. (This is on top of paying the mortgage on the house) If your mums happy with the arrangement that's good smile

witsender Sun 26-Mar-17 16:14:42

If we moved in with either of our sets of parents they would refuse rent. I would insist on paying for food and water though.

witsender Sun 26-Mar-17 16:15:05

So it really depends what her financial situation is?

Snoreborewhoreee Sun 26-Mar-17 20:49:16

I've lived here all my life so never had my own place.. my mom does have some debts and so do we, I do give her other money if she needs it, I often buy her lunch and meals etc when we are out but I've read the comments and clearly see I need to pay more

redshoeblueshoe Sun 26-Mar-17 20:58:21

snore - really you should just ask your DM. Most threads on adult DC living at home always say - but you shouldn't be charging rent its their home
It really depends on how she feels.

MidniteScribbler Sun 26-Mar-17 21:19:48

You've never lived anywhere else, so I presume you have moved your partner in at some point and went on to have 3 children with him without having a place of your own. And you can't afford to rent your own house, but you can afford 60 pounds per month for television? Good grief.

Lostwithinthehills Sun 26-Mar-17 21:37:26

I'll admit that I'm a little surprised that you have never left home but have acquired a partner and gone on to have three children.

So you have never contributed to the rent, you have just paid towards some utilities? How much rent does your mum pay? What is the cost of her council tax, home insurance, water? I think you should really be paying your mum at least half of the total cost of renting and maintaining her house. I think you should also be mindful that your family of five is causing considerably more wear and tear on the carpet, furniture, white goods and general decor than your mum.

I generally agree that parents shouldn't charge their just turned adult children, or temporarily fallen on hard times adult children, rent but you are a fully fledged adult with your own family.

Newtothis2017 Sun 26-Mar-17 21:45:22

You have 3dc and have never left home???? You need to pay alot more. Your dm is paying for your family.

Snoreborewhoreee Sun 26-Mar-17 21:54:20

Yes I actually feel really awful now I've never thought of it like this before.. I have been on housing list for four years now but no luck

HermioneJeanGranger Sun 26-Mar-17 21:57:56

Why did you carry on having children while you live at home?

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