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AIBU?

To expect a lie in today without an argument?

27 replies

bibbetybobbetybooo · 26/03/2017 10:01

So yeah - Mother's Day...

DH has finally got up with the children and is now giving them breakfast.

But he wasn't going to do it willingly.
All I've had is 'so, today is where you're fucking lazy, then, is it?' plus other lovely comments.

He lies in EVERY WEEKEND.
ALL THE TIME.

OP posts:

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Ca1ypso · 26/03/2017 10:06

How very rude he is. Is he actually swearing at you?
Has he not sorted a gift from the DC?

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GoldenHoops · 26/03/2017 10:08

Put laxatives in his dinner, is he always a git.

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elQuintoConyo · 26/03/2017 10:11

What a buttmunch! Cpukd you accidentally kick him in the nuts today? joke

Have some flowers from me and cake and tea

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Kittykatclaws · 26/03/2017 10:11

What an arse!
Happy Mother's Day

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bibbetybobbetybooo · 26/03/2017 10:12

Oh yes. Swearing and stomping. He's made my breakfast - but actually, I wanted a bloody sleep!

I'm so fed up. He'll probably have bought something very expensive. Take photos and put it on FB to show the world how good HE is, then carry on like this.

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Spadequeen · 26/03/2017 10:13

And his good points are.....

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bibbetybobbetybooo · 26/03/2017 10:14

Recently I've been failing to find many good points. He cooks. But if I cook, he takes over anyway so that then he can say 'I always cook'.

Or if I do cook, he eats it then complains, or refuses to eat with us

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SkySmiler · 26/03/2017 10:19

You've got far bigger problems than a lie in row...

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OliviaStabler · 26/03/2017 10:21

You've got far bigger problems than a lie in row...

This ^^

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bibbetybobbetybooo · 26/03/2017 10:21

Looks like it, doesn't it... I'm getting increasingly fed up with his attitude/behaviour. He's like the male equivalent of a spoilt princess nowadays.

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KittiKat · 26/03/2017 10:29

But if I cook, he takes over anyway so that then he can say 'I always cook'.

You are lazy, that is what he is telling the world. He has no respect for you and he is trying to control you and undermine your self confidence. Got the T shirt...

Look out for when he starts checking that you have laid the table properly...

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bibbetybobbetybooo · 26/03/2017 10:34

I've not been very well for a while, so he's had to do more than he was previously used to (read that as - he never really had to do anything so he now has to do normal stuff like shopping!)

He definitely thinks I'm lazy - but my illness has made me lethargic and in pain. He knows this.

If he ever told me how to lay the table I think I'd slap him. But then I'd be painted out to be the unreasonable one, right...?

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Applebite · 26/03/2017 10:37

and sorry that he's being such a prick.

I think you need to think about how you feel about him, OP

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PoorYorick · 26/03/2017 10:40

And you're with this twat because....?

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bibbetybobbetybooo · 26/03/2017 10:42

I love him and he can be great. That's not happening very much nowadays and it's actually quite sad. Not sure why - either he's just a dick and it's taken me this long to fully realise it. Or it's taken him this long to show his full true colours. Or it's something else like depression.

Whichever one - I'm becoming more and more numb to him and his behaviour. It's not great.

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CripsSandwiches · 26/03/2017 10:42

Have to agree with PP. He sounds like a deeply unpleasant person, do you actually like each other?

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neonrainbow · 26/03/2017 10:44

He doesmt sound great. How can you love someone who swears at you over nothing? He sure as hell doesnt love you or he would treat you with some respect.

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QueenArseClangers · 26/03/2017 10:46

Happy Mothering Sunday love.

Treat yourself to a LTB

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RandomMess · 26/03/2017 10:47

TBH that would be game over for me!!!

Who does he think he is...

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doublesnap · 26/03/2017 10:48

He's just set the bar for father's day; perhaps he needs to remember that it's still to come and the expectation for him to get anything is extremely low.

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bibbetybobbetybooo · 26/03/2017 10:54

Oh he's getting a fat sod-all for Father's Day.
His swearing has just recently really ramped up and it's horrible.

I never swear at him (unless really really pushed) and it's just not on.

I think once I can vaguely afford, I need to kick him out or leave. I don't think he'll leave, though.

Where do I stand on things if I go? The house is more mine than his (equity in family trust bond that he has legally agreed isn't his)

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TheOnlyColditz · 26/03/2017 10:55

Oh Bibbity this is really sad. It's easier to gloss over dickishness when it's just every day, but somehow it's highlighted on Mother's day, isn't it? I'd strongly suggest you don't look at facebook today, people put their best selves on there and itwill make you feel worse.

Perhaps while you are thinking about how you want this relationship to proceed, you oculd damage control the verbal abuse by simply repeating "I am tired because I am ill" every time you get a snide comment about him being lazy.

Also, regardless of how he behaves today, get some lovely snuggles in with your children and give their heads a good sniff.

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PopCakes · 26/03/2017 11:02

If you're thinking about leaving I'd get legal advice sooner rather than later (even if you're not sure or not ready to leave yet).

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RedastheRose · 26/03/2017 11:02

Sounds like you have been insulating him from having to be a proper husband and father for years (possibly always) by doing everything for him. Now that you can't, he no longer sees any worth in your relationship so is being unpleasant to you. Have a read up about narcissistic tendencies and emotionally abusive behaviour. Don't blame it on depression. I wasted 6 years when I should have left because I thought my ex's horrible treatment of me was because he was depressed (he wouldn't do anything about it though). He wasn't depressed he was a narc and our relationship had been fine through all the years of little money when he needed my income and hard work to give him an easier life. When he finally started earning decent money he thought he was more important than me so treated me like a servant because he no longer needed me!

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Sunshinegirl82 · 26/03/2017 11:16

Sorry you've had a rubbish start to the day.

In light of the fact that it sounds as though there are some complexities surrounding your joint assets I would suggest you make an appointment with a solicitor and talk through everything. You're not obligated to act on it but at least you know where you stand.

I wouldn't bother with a free 30 minute appointment, arrange a proper meeting, get all the info and ask them to confirm it all in writing (you can ask them to leave a letter at reception for you to collect or get it by email).

Once you know where you are you can get your ducks in a row to leave if that's what you want. Do you work? Is he the higher earner? How old are the DC?