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To feel a bit sorry for myself

(23 Posts)
TheoriginalLEM Sun 26-Mar-17 09:44:20

just feeling a bit unloved really

dd1 wont even call or text to say happy mothers day

dd2 was really spoilt and rude to me yesterday. when i told her off dp as always had a go at me for "bickering" with dd2. Turned into an almighty row with dp walking out and going for a walk. Dd2 distraught but we patched things up and had hugs on the sofa. She is 11 and getting to the attitude teenagery stage and im TRYING to nip it in the bud. Dp always undermines me.

Dd2 saying no mday card etc and i know she will feel sad about it.

Would it have hurt dp to have gone with her to buy a bunch of daffodils (what i asked dd2 for when she asked what i wanted?) especially as it was his birthday on friday and i spent a weeks wages on his present? hmm

im not very good at this whole mothering thing

NassauBeach Sun 26-Mar-17 09:46:57

Happy Mother's Day LEM.
Do something nice for yourself today. Nothing special for me here today but I'll give myself my own treat (2 hours of my fave box set and nice piece of cake).

Snapespeare Sun 26-Mar-17 09:47:02

Other people's inability to care about something important to you doesn't make you a 'bad mother' it makes them insensitive and selfish, especially if they know how important it is to you.

Didyoumeantobesorude1 Sun 26-Mar-17 09:47:28

Your dp is a twat. Stop buying him such expensive presents.
Tell dd2 that the nicest thing you can imagine for Mothers Day is to spend some time with her. Then take her shopping or go for lunch or something, and just enjoy each other's company.

isupposeitsverynice Sun 26-Mar-17 09:47:29

Dunno sounds like dp is the one who's a bit naff tbh, bunch of daffs is a pound in the supermarket, not really trying there is he?

Afreshstartplease Sun 26-Mar-17 09:48:25

I don't think it's you that's not good at mothering

Your dp isn't good at partnering

MummyMuppet2x2 Sun 26-Mar-17 09:50:16

Happy Mother's Day TheoriginalLem flowerscakegin

YANBU

Thattimeofyearagain Sun 26-Mar-17 09:50:27

Its not you LEM its your partner flowers

Butterymuffin Sun 26-Mar-17 09:53:03

Yep it's your partner who's rubbish. Take your DD to a supermarket and wait outside while she goes in and gets you daffodils and a card (there'll be plenty left) then go out with her for mum and daughter time. Leave partner to do whatever he's (not) doing.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 26-Mar-17 09:58:36

He's rubbish.

Whatsername17 Sun 26-Mar-17 09:59:27

In your position I'd be taking dd2 (and 1 if she lives with you - you said she won't text so I assumed not?) out for a girlie day. Buy yourself something lovely and have a nice lunch. If you keep your finances separate, take dhs card!

LillyLollyLandy Sun 26-Mar-17 10:00:00

Why have you spent a week's wages on him? I'd take it back and get something far cheaper.

WhingingTulip Sun 26-Mar-17 10:01:39

Not unreasonable at all. I'm wallowing a bit myself this morning - 5 children from 10 months to 19 years and not a peep. Can't help feel that it's a damning criticism of my parenting abilities.

TheoriginalLEM Sun 26-Mar-17 10:07:21

thats the thing though. hes not shit generally! hes brilliant and does so much for me. breakfast in bed every day and cooks all our dinners as i work later than him. Hes just shit at this sort of thing.

no breakfast today though hmm

itsnotfair10 Sun 26-Mar-17 10:08:31

I'm with you!
My 'd'hs response this morning when I asked if we were doing anything nice today was 'you aren't my mother' yes because our 3yr old can blatantly drive himself to the shops to buy flowers and a card! Least Father's Day hasn't been yet so I can return the favour!

Afreshstartplease Sun 26-Mar-17 10:29:43

My 'd'p is still in bed angry

NormaSmuff Sun 26-Mar-17 10:34:09

my dc are all in bed, i ought to ring my dm really
i nromally get breakfast in bed but will ahve to wait

Thattimeofyearagain Sun 26-Mar-17 10:37:16

My dh said the" not my mother " thing the year after he lost his mum. I understood that it was a painful day for him.
Moving forward he doesn't buy anything, but my dc are adult. My dh does nice things instead ( walks the dog so I get a sleep in, first choice of tv) .
Tell your dp that being thoughtful doesn't have to cost anything.

Bluntness100 Sun 26-Mar-17 10:41:21

Call your first daughter, say hi.

Take your second out to lunch.

Take some control back and have a great Mother's Day,

mumblechum0 Sun 26-Mar-17 10:45:10

Am also feeling hurt today as 22 yr old ds, who doesnt live at home hasnt sent a card or anything, just txted yesterday asking for (yet more) money. . Says card in post but nothing arrived yesterday so he's clearly just not bothered.
Wouldnt mind but i've been extremely supportive both financially and emotionally since he lost his job 6 months ago angry

Sabistick Sun 26-Mar-17 10:57:16

If it's any consolation, we love you here on mn! You understand your kids and even though it's painful, you make allowances. How is that not a good mother?
You and dd2 can have a nice day, just don't let anyone else rain on your parade.
Fwiw, my dd1 sent a text and a bunch of flowers today(i was really surprised), dh first and only comments- were to talk in detail about what his sister is doing with their mother,how he forgot and how we need to send herv
£25 as his share.nothing else. Unsupportive adult arses are everywhere!

ohhereweareagain Sun 26-Mar-17 11:20:07

flowers op I also feel low today. Dh also undermines me. My 14 year old hasn't called me today (I am at work). She has recently entered that awful tunnel of crapness 😣😣😣

hels71 Sun 26-Mar-17 11:24:25

my "d"h has man flu. So clearly he had to have a lie in while I got up and sorted out breakfast etc. Thankfully DD made something at Brownies and school because "d"h "thought at 9 she could get her own things"....hmmmm when? when I take her out? I guess she could but was it asking too much for him to take her to a shop yesterday to buy some daffs and a bar of choc?

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