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Should I get the key back?

(16 Posts)
talulahbelle Sat 25-Mar-17 17:03:29

My DSis has moved into the area, and I gave her a copy of our front door key - just so there's an easy to access spare for emergencies.
Trouble is she now will send me messages saying things like "I'll be over in 10" and then turn up and let herself in. I'm not always ready or willing to have someone over, but she doesn't give me a chance to reply either way. Or she says she'll pop in to collect stuff when no one is home - which not happy about. Mainly as the place is a tip but also because I'm not 100% sure she won't pry.
So WIBU to ask for the key back? And how to get it tactfully?
(I don't have a key for hers, but she lived further out of town than me)

ImperialBlether Sat 25-Mar-17 17:05:54

Get that key back off her!

QuiteLikely5 Sat 25-Mar-17 17:06:06

All you need to do is call her tomorrow after work or whatever and say you've lost your key and need yours back. Then forget to give it back to her!

SpreadYourHappiness Sat 25-Mar-17 17:08:04

Change the locks. If she's letting herself in, I wouldn't trust her to give the key back (or if she did, to not have made a copy of it).

ijustwannadance Sat 25-Mar-17 17:08:49

Get the bloody key back and tell her not to pop over unannounced in future.

LuxCoDespondent Sat 25-Mar-17 17:10:59

Change the locks. Just say that you lost your key in the supermarket / bus / wherever and that you have had to replace them.

troodiedoo Sat 25-Mar-17 17:13:57

I have a similar issue with df. I know he'd just get a copy cut if I asked for it back. Changing the locks seems excessive and pricey.

I did manage to ask him to knock and wait before entering, after a bit of passive aggressive sulking he agreed to.

I

Hogs Sat 25-Mar-17 18:06:25

I'd simply say that you need the key back because a neighbour is popping in to do a job or something when you're not able to be there. Then just don't give the key back to her. If she asks, plead that the neighbour still has it or that you've put it somewhere but can't lay your hands on it right this minute but you will dig it out at some point.

Leeds2 Sat 25-Mar-17 18:18:36

Ask her to give it to you just after she walks into your house having used it. If you give her advance warning, she will make a copy (if she has;t already).

troodiedoo Sat 25-Mar-17 18:34:50

Good idea Leeds2 didn't think of that

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 25-Mar-17 20:29:18

You can change the barrel of some types of locks for not too much money. Doesn't require a locksmith, just some DIY.

talulahbelle Sat 25-Mar-17 20:34:16

Thanks for the ideas! I think I might go with needing the spare for our neighbour to house-sit when we are next away (DSis works funny shifts so I doubt will want to commit to twice daily visits) and then opps the neighbour has "misplaced" it or similar.
I don't want to hurt or annoy DSis but we have different ideas of family visits/closeness, I like my house to be a place just for my nuclear family, all other guests invite only.

SquinkiesRule Sat 25-Mar-17 21:51:30

Wait till she's at your house to ask her for the key, stops her getting a copy on the way over.

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Sat 25-Mar-17 21:53:19

Def get the key back if you are going away - before she announces a party on fb!!

BonnyScotland Sat 25-Mar-17 22:15:11

don't do that... neighbour needs the key thing.. she will get her own copy before handing yours back...

Change the Locks x

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sat 25-Mar-17 22:19:18

It is very very easy and cheap to change a lock. If you do it you can tell her that you lost a key hence the changed locks. She might have already made copies.

However, you suggest that you like her. Why not explain to her your feelings about use of the key?

I had to do that with my DB. He thought I was weird and was a little put out but he has fully respected my wishes since and long term it did much more good than harm.

If you start lying then you'll get into a dreadful pickle when she asks for a new key.

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